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Original poster

To wish my house was permanently guest ready?

186 replies

apples83 · 29/02/2020 16:38

DH and I have some friends coming over for drinks tonight. As ever in this situation, I’m frantically cleaning the house to try and get it looking half presentable for when they arrive (DH did upstairs and the front room earlier and has now gone to visit his mum). Cue mad dusting, vacuuming, mopping and a big tidying away session. I’m now slumped on the sofa shattered and am only halfway through!

Every time this happens I vow that I won’t be in this situation ever again and that if someone is coming round, my house will be such that I simply need to tidy away a few bits and bobs give the kitchen surfaces a cursory wipe. As it is I have to give up half of my weekend doing some sort of deep clean like a crazy woman.

Does anyone have a guest ready house at all times and if so, how do you do it? (Cleaner not an option here as budget doesn’t allow sadly).

OP posts:
adaline · 03/03/2020 11:58

I find this thread really worrying. Such high levels of anxiety : 'I cant go to bed unless its perfect'. Very worrying sign. Where does all this anxiety come from? It doesn't bother me, I wouldn't care.

What does it matter to you how clean other people keep their homes?

I keep my home clean for me - not for anyone else. I find messy environments incredibly stressful and they have a very negative impact on my mental health. Contrarywise, if my home is clean and and tidy, I'm MUCH happier and much more capable of relaxing.

adaline · 03/03/2020 11:59

I agree, I think it's deeply concerning. And actually deeply depressing to see women normalising the extent to which they still appear to think that a clean house is a sign of their self-worth.

It's nothing to do with my self-worth Hmm

We barely ever have visitors over so the only person I'm cleaning for is me. Some people aren't bothered about mess, other people are. Why is that so problematic for some people?

PrimeraVez · 03/03/2020 12:03

Our is 'guest ready' 95% of the time. What helps is:

  • House rule that everything gets loaded straight into the dishwasher so you will never find dirty plates, cups etc sitting around
  • Everyone has a basket in the hallway for their shoes so shoes go away straightaway
  • Cordless Dyson mounted on the kitchen wall, ready to be grabbed whenever needed
  • Laundry baskets upstairs and downstairs, so never any excuse for dirty washing to be sitting around
  • Beds are made, curtains pulled first thing every morning

I also concede:

  • We have a playroom tucked away in the corner of the house (ie out of sight) Toys rarely make it out of there
  • We have a laundry room where anything big or awkward goes eg ironing board, clothes horse, pram etc
  • We have a cleaner who comes once a week
  • Both DH and I are neat freaks so would never dream of going to bed leaving a mug out, blanket crumpled on the sofa etc
BeepOpsiePie · 03/03/2020 12:08

@MingVase I don't know, if keeping your house clean and tidy is important to you and gives you peace of mind, then I don't think we should dismiss that as just some outdated aspiration that we should look down on. Instead of telling women not to care about cleaning I'd rather see men caring just as much about housekeeping.

I'm a SAHM after having previously had a professional career and although housework often feels like drudge work, so are plenty of jobs, even high flying careers. The daily bollocks of laundry is no more meaningless than the daily bollocks of office politics, spreadsheets etc... So taking pride in my "work" keeping the house clean is no worse than taking pride in my previous work on tech projects for a big corporation. At least my own home is a place that is personal to me and I can personally benefit from the fruits of my own labour by enjoying my pleasant environment. And from a feminist point of view, looking down on traditionally feminine tasks like housework as being inconsequential is kind of demeaning.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 03/03/2020 12:14

My family and I are more important than the guests, and we spend a lot more time at home than a guest will, so why should we only make effort for them and not us?

It takes just as long to throw something on the floor as it is to put it where it belongs. Do a bit everyday. I spend 5 to 10 minutes each evening before bed (not more!) going round and tidying what doesn't look right. I wake up in a tidy house, so I don't have to endlessly catch up.

The secret is a constant routine and very good storage.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 03/03/2020 12:16

Very worrying sign. Where does all this anxiety come from? It doesn't bother me, I wouldn't care. My house is reasonable, most of the time. And that's good enough!

who cares? Your house, your standards, your issues.

I like to come home to a welcoming house, and I don't relax in mess. I care. Why would I force myself to live in an unwelcoming environment? It's my home, I want it the way I enjoy it.

CtrlU · 03/03/2020 12:19

I’m the same OP

adaline · 03/03/2020 12:21

I like to come home to a welcoming house, and I don't relax in mess. I care. Why would I force myself to live in an unwelcoming environment? It's my home, I want it the way I enjoy it.

Yes, exactly this. I don't get why people are so upset by the idea that other people like things tidy!

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 03/03/2020 12:28

I agree with that.

Either you are happy in your home, then why should you change it for guests?
Or you are not not happy, then you should make the efforts for your family and you, not someone who is popping in for 30 minutes.

Oblomov20 · 03/03/2020 12:34

Its got nothing to do with actual cleaning. If your MH is so fragile its questioned because your house isn't spotless, this would suggest severe anxiety. which is not good.

adaline · 03/03/2020 12:35

Its got nothing to do with actual cleaning. If your MH is so fragile its questioned because your house isn't spotless, this would suggest severe anxiety. which is not good.

But what does it matter to you or anyone else if that's the case?

Oblomov20 · 03/03/2020 12:40

Because this is MN. Where someone posted about cleaning. And people are 'allowed' to comment! Hmm
Why post on the thread if you don't want to discuss cleaning?

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 03/03/2020 12:41

What anxiety? It takes a lot less time and effort to maintain a clean house than to run catch up. I have made all weekends "chore-free" and I have better things to do than waste days frantically cleaning.

I also have 0 anxiety about anyone popping in, and I can chill when I come back from work.

It's called being organised. Wink Works for me. If you make different choices, it doesn't mean mine are wrong.

caperplips · 03/03/2020 12:42

Dh and I both care equally about not living in an unclean or untidy house and he spends as much time each evening straightening the place up as I do. Between us we make sure that before we go to bed the kitchen is clean and tidy, no washing up left beyond a couple of glasses / cups we may have used after dinner, the laundry is folded and brought upstairs, the blankets and cushions are straight & in the right place etc.

Most nights as I am taking off make-up / brushing teeth etc I give the sink & the table the sink is on a clean with a wipe and then give the toilet a quick clean around the rim and lash some toilet cleaner into it.

We never accumulate wet towels etc and only ever have a clean hand towel hanging out. All toiletries have their own place and get out back there after use. So the bathroom is always kept clean and tidy too.

Sometimes shoes gather on the bottom of the stairs but one of us brings them up as we're going up at some stage in the evening. All coats go in the utility room on the hooks or upstairs in the wardrobes. Sometimes they thrown over the back of the kitchen chair but always moved before bed.

All of only takes a few minutes each evening and is usually a quick whizz around when the dogs are out for their last wee of the evening.

I agree that the secret is constant routine

It makes coming down to make breakfast at 6.45 am a bit easier.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 03/03/2020 12:42

The thread was about HOW you maintain a "guest-ready" house.
Answer is to be consistent and organised.

Not being accused of having anxiety or anything wrong because you like a clean house...

Oblomov20 · 03/03/2020 12:44

And not everyone who is questioning this lives in a house that is messy or unhygienic.

Mine isn't. Mine is normal, ok. Sometimes its very clean, sometimes it looks a bit lived it, but it's never messy, not dirty, never unhygienic.

It doesn't need to be one extreme or the other. Middle is ok! Some posters seem to think that those questioning this live in a cesspit!

adaline · 03/03/2020 12:44

Why post on the thread if you don't want to discuss cleaning?

The thread was about OP getting tips on how to keep a clean/"guest ready" home.

It wasn't a platform to accuse everyone with a tidy home of having severely debilitating anxiety!

caperplips · 03/03/2020 12:45

I really like the notion of 'chore free' weekends and may work towards that!

adaline · 03/03/2020 12:45

Middle is ok! Some posters seem to think that those questioning this live in a cesspit

Not at all. They're just saying what they like and explaining why they like it. But apparently that means they must have severe anxiety.

I don't see any of the clean/tidy posters accusing those who aren't like them of having mental health issues.

hammeringinmyhead · 03/03/2020 12:46

It's not really about visual tidiness for me - I find houses that have nothing done for a few days start to smell. Breakfast dishes smell of sour milk if left to the evening. Bath and shower mats, and towels, can smell a bit while they dry from the morning showers. I just like to whip round and swap out hand towels, run the dishwasher, and clean the toilets so nobody smells anything that I'm noseblind to!

Oblomov20 · 03/03/2020 12:46

"Not being accused of having anxiety or anything wrong because you like a clean house..."

Hmm That's a classic over-reaction.

No one did criticise those that like a clean house! I do too.

But some people saying they cant sleep, if its not, suggests anxiety. that they've taken it too far!

caperplips · 03/03/2020 12:48

I get what you're saying @Oblomov20 but I have found in my own personal experience that if we let things slide, it sort of builds up and then it is a much bigger job to tackle it.

For us, little and often really does work better. And we feel better too. A messy house is oppressive to me,

Oblomov20 · 03/03/2020 12:48

I cant sleep/cant cope, can't ..... because something isn't spotless/perfect/just so ?

Actually does fit the description for anxiety.

adaline · 03/03/2020 12:49

@Oblomov20 you did just that yourself!

"I find this thread really worrying. Such high levels of anxiety : 'I cant go to bed unless its perfect'. Very worrying sign. Where does all this anxiety come from? It doesn't bother me, I wouldn't care. My house is reasonable, most of the time. And that's good enough!"

adaline · 03/03/2020 12:50

Actually does fit the description for anxiety.

But it's not your place to diagnose people with MH disorders.

I find a clean and tidy home massively improves my mental health. If I let it slip, I'd soon become very overwhelmed and then nothing would get done.