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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you had to rehome one dog ...

33 replies

PissyPantsPeach · 29/02/2020 08:42

Sensitive subject but ...

I have two dogs. A 4 year old French Bulldog (male) and a 1 year old Doberman (female).

All was well for months but recently they have gotten into a few fights. The Frenchie always starts them. He gets nasty, growls at her if she goes near him (sometimes, not always) and he is food possessive and possessive over treats and bones. My Dobie is 100% trustworthy, I can take anything from her mouth without so much as a second glance. I couldn’t do that with the Frenchie as he’d go for my hand.

I love both of my dogs and have no intentions of rehoming either of them but after a nasty fight last night where my husband ended up getting bitten (by Frenchie) as he tried to separate them but thought has been sifting through my head that it might have to be considered at some point.

Now obviously I’ll get a behaviourist in and work on it before doing anything else but if push came to shove ... one of them could end up being killed (let’s be honest, it wouldn’t be the Dobie).

In my mind, if It came to it I think it would have to be the Frenchie that was rehomed. He’d be much more rehomable due to his size and breed. My mum has already asked a number of times if she can have him as both her and her husband love him.
My Dobie would end up stuck in a shelter and I dread to think of where she’d end up. She’s not the easiest dog to handle and couldn’t be around kids.

I don’t know, it’s not an option I’m genuinely thinking about right now but after the fight last night I can’t help but think we might have to at some point 😢 AIBU to think of it did have to go that way, the Frenchie would be the obvious choice even though we had him first?

OP posts:
guineapig1 · 29/02/2020 08:45

I’d try the vet and behaviourist for advice before doing anything else. Is the Frenchie neutered?

guineapig1 · 29/02/2020 08:47

Though I’d share your concers regarding rehoming your girl. If it can’t be resolved and your mum is happy to have the boy (and you are comfortable that she will cope and he’ll be well cared for) that does seem like the best solution

Herpesfreesince03 · 29/02/2020 08:48

Given that the Frenchie has behavioural issues, is aggressive and has now but someone, I wouldn’t have thought that the best candidate for rehoming.

Delbelleber · 29/02/2020 08:48

Why can your doberman not be around kids? Neither of them sound like safe dogs. Considering you've had them both from pups I'd say you are the problem. Behaviourists are helpful but you'll have the put the work in. Are you capable of that?

Original poster
PissyPantsPeach · 29/02/2020 08:49

He is neutered yes, he’s a lovely dog, the sweetest dog ever but turns into Cujo when he’s around food. My Dobie would let another dog stick it’s head in her food bowl without a second thought but not him.
When he used to “tell her off” she’d back off straight away but now she’s going back at him and it gets very nasty very quickly. Last night hubby pulled the Dobie away from the Frenchie and the Frenchie kept going back for more. I had to risk myself and pick him up in the end and I was shitting myself. He’d already bitten my husband and broken the skin. If this happened when one of us was on our own with them I’m not sure how we’d separate them. It’s terrifying me.

As I say, behaviourist will come first before anything else.

OP posts:
GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 29/02/2020 08:51

Well, if your DM wants the Frenchie, that's your obvious solution if a behaviourist can't help.

But rehoming a year-old Dobe through a breed specific rescue might not be as hard as you think. You say she's not easy but I don't think they're a particularly easy breed, and someone who wants one might well be prepared for that. I'd much rather take on a young dog than an older one, especially one that has aggression issues.

Original poster
PissyPantsPeach · 29/02/2020 08:53

Only reason she can’t be around kids is that she never has been around them. She has zero bite history but is hyperactive and clumsy. She has a 1-1 trainer and is doing brilliantly but she’s from working lines so is highly strung. She’d maybe be great with kids but we have no way of knowing as she’s never experienced them (only when she was tiny and cute!)

OP posts:
Glassio · 29/02/2020 08:53

food and bones are a problem here too so the solution is to feed them seperately and not give bones. And if they do have a treat its again ensured they are seperate. day to day they get on fine.
are yours ok when food isn't involved?

Noconceptofnormal · 29/02/2020 08:54

Given that your mum actually wants the problem dog then I really don't know why you wouldn't do that. Best of both worlds as the dog you presumably love is still in the family. If the problem dog is not an issue so long as its away from other dogs (so long as he is OK bring taken for walks in public places) this seems to be the best option.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 29/02/2020 08:55

There was a heartbreaking thread recently from someone whose dog killed her other dog. She knew there were occasional issues between then and was careful to keep them separate when unsupervised, but mistakes happen and she came home to a very distressing scene. Sad

It may well be that a behaviorist can help, but ultimately they're both animals, and the Frenchie is bound to have occasional lapses even if he does get his act together. So if you do decide to make a go of it, I'd be very vigilant and keep them separate at all times when you're not there.

Tbh if you already know someone who would love and care for the Frenchie, and you'd be able to see him regularly..... Do you think he's happy in general living with another dog?

Original poster
PissyPantsPeach · 29/02/2020 08:58

Without food or bones in the picture they’re generally ok together but even then the Frenchie will sometimes go for her. She’s clumsy and still very puppyish so tries to get him to play with her ... sometimes he isn’t in the mood for it and snaps and if she gets bitten in the process, she will go back at him and that’s how it erupts. It’s much worse with bones in the picture though

OP posts:
Carouselfish · 29/02/2020 08:58

Never feed them in the same room. It's creating the issue for no good reason. Are they both tired out from exercise? 1hr a day min. That will help reduce irritability. Give them their own space where they can get away from each other if they need to. Don't let the small one on the sofa if the big one isn't allowed, stops it getting too big for its boots and thinking it can boss the big one around.

Original poster
PissyPantsPeach · 29/02/2020 08:59

They’re never alone together.

OP posts:
Original poster
PissyPantsPeach · 29/02/2020 09:00

Dobie gets 3-4 walks a day as well as training and prey drive work (as in reducing, not encouraging!)

OP posts:
Carouselfish · 29/02/2020 09:00

But also, to a certain extent they have to sort out dominance themselves. It's up to you to know if it's a warning nip or something more serious. Is the Frenchie neutered?

WoofAndWhiskers · 29/02/2020 09:00

I have similar issues but just around food, so I never leave them with bones and feed them separately. No issues at all then. It was also around that age - puppy not backing down any more. It's settled down.
If I was rehoming though, frenchie to your mum sounds perfect.

Delbelleber · 29/02/2020 09:03

I think you need to take control of the situation. Get them trained, sat side by side and rewarded with treats. A stern telling off for bad behaviour. You are in charge and by not taking control your giving the dogs the impression they can do what they like.

Original poster
PissyPantsPeach · 29/02/2020 09:03

Oh no it’s not just a warning nip, they end up in a frenzied battle, all teeth baring, high pitched snarling and growling, biting faces etc ... my Frenchie was limping slightly after last nights fight 😞 he’s ok now though but I’m just glad hubby was there. Without him I would have had to put myself right in the middle of it and would’ve ended up a right mess

OP posts:
Original poster
PissyPantsPeach · 29/02/2020 09:04

They do have side by side training. I do everything by the book.

OP posts:
Littlemeadow123 · 29/02/2020 09:18

Have you tried seeing a behaviourist? If not, then I think you should try that first before rehoming a dog, as rehoming should always be the absolute last resort.

Also, did your husband try to split a fight up with his bare hands? Because that is the last thing you should do. Bucket of cold water is normally the best route.

motherheroic · 29/02/2020 09:21

You would actually have a better time rehoming the Doberman as the Frenchie is aggressive and possessive. If I were you I would give the Frenchie to my parents, after you've exhausted every other option you can think of of course.

Wahhhhh · 29/02/2020 09:23

Give Frenchie to your mum.

Obviously no one should get rid of a dog on a whim but this is an issue that could turn serious, sounds like both dogs would be better off as single dogs.
Frenchie is in the family and you will see it often.
You know your mum will take good care of it.

No brainer.

Tink2007 · 29/02/2020 09:28

What was the Frenchies behaviour like before the Doberman came along?

Original poster
PissyPantsPeach · 29/02/2020 09:31

Before Doberman came along he was still possessive over food and bones. He once went for my sons girlfriend as she went to stroke him when he had his bone.

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 29/02/2020 09:38

Why have you not yet removed bones and started feeding separately? It’s the obvious solution. They can’t fight over possessions if there are none. My trainer’s first instruction is to remove toys too. The Frenchie is your husband’s as I recall? And you were extremely insistent on a dobie. Is your dh happy for his dog to go to your mum?