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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU....sports team politics.

22 replies

Remainanonymous2 · 28/02/2020 21:57

DS is at v. small primary where teachers son is also in same year grouo...teachers son always gets picked to represent age group for sporting events that are popular....football/swimming team... ..My ds gets given things like golf so it looks like things are being shared equally...(not really his thing) despite being equally sporty...tried to shrug it off first few times but now even ds has become quite resentful. ....

OP posts:
InArrears · 28/02/2020 22:01

Yanbu, one of these in every class. In my kids primary the PTA mums' kids got picked for everything. Sooo, I joined the PTA, worked a treat.

No PTA in High School though so it's been a bit of a learning curve, but sometimes life sucks and you just have to deal with that.

Original poster
Remainanonymous2 · 28/02/2020 22:02

😏...thanks...

OP posts:
RoseAndRose · 28/02/2020 22:03

Golf?

Lucky boy - that's seriously expensive if you do it away from school. And rare in a primary.

But if he's not interested, he won't see it as a privilege.

How often are sports swopped around?

Hammer19 · 28/02/2020 22:04

Sounds like our children go to the same school! Lots of teacher's children go to our school and they always get picked to represent the school. My DC gets picked for obscure sports to try. Favouritism!

Original poster
Remainanonymous2 · 28/02/2020 22:10

Usually only one event per sport each year so if you don't get picked one year it's a wait until next year and he's not been picked for football or swimming for the 2 years hes been in KS2 so far.....and for them that's a long time...and I cant guarantee it wont happen next year and then it's too late....he has formed the opinion hes not good enough at these two things already because of this....:(

OP posts:
ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords · 28/02/2020 22:13

In my kids primary the PTA mums' kids got picked for everything. Sooo, I joined the PTA, worked a treat.

It always amazes me when I read things like this - the class teachers in my school wouldn't have a clue, or give a fuck, whose parents are on the PTA and it has nothing whatsoever to do with sports teams or roles in school productions.

winniethekid · 28/02/2020 22:14

If it's a very small school then the chances are most children are getting picked because there is less choice.

Original poster
Remainanonymous2 · 28/02/2020 22:16

@winniethekid....do you think I should mention that he would like to do swimming/football next year then...or is this likely to just create problems as I look like I'm complaining....

OP posts:
snappycamper · 28/02/2020 22:23

At least he gets picked for something! My kid is in year 5 and has never represented his school at anything. Every single sports team, music group etc is year 6 only

InArrears · 28/02/2020 22:31

Artie it astounded me too, but it definitely was the case. My daughter wanted me to go on a school trip with her, and it was obvious that this was the only way i would get 'picked'.

Very small primary school with massive fund-raising PTA.

In hindsight I should have moved them, but they were happy there.

arethereanyleftatall · 28/02/2020 22:42

This hasn't been my experience at my kids primary. They've been spot on at either picking the best kids, if the comp warranted it, or just including anyone who wants to play if it didn't.
Whilst football could be subjective as to who makes the team, surely if they're picking the best team for swimming, it just goes on times? That's black and white.

arethereanyleftatall · 28/02/2020 22:44

Also, football is 7 a side. (Ish at primary). So, there's 6 more places to fill?

arethereanyleftatall · 28/02/2020 23:44

@InArrears
In our school, the pta members often do get picked to go on trips but it's not 'because they're on the pta and that's it' ; it's 'because they're on the pta they therefore tend to know more of the children, ie are a familiar face' it's just sensible, not favouritism.

ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords · 29/02/2020 00:59

In our school, the pta members often do get picked to go on trips but it's not 'because they're on the pta and that's it' ; it's 'because they're on the pta they therefore tend to know more of the children, ie are a familiar face' it's just sensible, not favouritism.

Surely the children know parents of their classmates because they are e.g.Ben's mum, not because they are on the PTA, so they are no more familiar than anyone else's mum? Why would they know them better just because they are behind organisation of the summer fair or a quiz night?
We would never take parents on school trips unless absolutely stuck, although I think it is more likely in younger years, and then most teachers would be very careful who they asked, because some parents just want to be there with their own child rather than to be any real help.

arethereanyleftatall · 29/02/2020 08:13

I guess every school is different artie, but at our school, yes the children definitely know the pta members more. Discos/bakes sales/running stalls/etc. It's also consistent. Whereas your example of 'ben's mum' they might know bens mum, but they might not. Maybe bens mum is never at school gate, or never runs play dates. Maybe the teachers only see her once a year at parents evening; and that's just riskier to them to give her a little group of children to look after rather than the pta members who they know better.
And, I agree with you absolutely that the teachers need to pick someone who will look after a group of children equally, not just their own child- again, more likely in a pta member who they firstly know, and secondly, a pta member has already shown they will give up their time to help all children.

YeOldeTrout · 29/02/2020 08:42

All those years I helped out with PTA (& now in high school) & my kids got picked for nothing, zero privileges. Serious lack of nepotism & cronyism in my local environment.

OlaEliza · 29/02/2020 08:51

Maybe the parents that get picked for the trips are already dbs checked, so easier that way too.

ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords · 29/02/2020 11:10

Obviously schools are different arethereanyleftatall, and in a small school maybe PTA parents have a higher profile. As I said earlier our class teachers really do not know, or care really, which parents are involved with the PTA. Actually I think a lot of those with positions on the PTA are probably working parents who are not around to go on trips.

category12 · 29/02/2020 11:14

There's one kid in a football team?!

justcleanyourbloodyteeth · 29/02/2020 11:49

My kids get picked for most sports competitions, because they're really able and the PE teacher wants the best chance of winning. I do know that some other kids have grumbled about it as it seems to always be the same core group. But, often there will be tryouts before hand and those that do the best get through. So yes it's annoying for those that aren't picked, but equally if they want a chance at winning then it's the most sensible option!
But, the school are also very good at entering comps in different sports and a different levels, so the majority of children that want to participate in a competition will get the chance too. In some sports, if the child does the school club then they automatically get to enter.

I'm on the PTA and I can say for certain it brings no favours at all for my kids, apart from me getting first dibs on the good cupcakes at the cake sale!

cologne4711 · 29/02/2020 11:50

In my kids primary the PTA mums' kids got picked for everything

Agree with the poster above that this sounds unlikely. Do the teachers really know who's on the PTA except possibly the chair?

justcleanyourbloodyteeth · 29/02/2020 11:50

And yes of course there is more than one child in a football team OP...

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