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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Train journey CFs

168 replies

GreenestValley · 28/02/2020 20:23

On a train and go to the loo - someone is in it

Wait three, four, five minutes. I have a tactic of trying the door handle several times at intervals so as to hopefully embarrass anyone who thinks they can stay in there as long as they like, into emerging

In this instance even with trying the door and eventually knocking, no movement at all. Clearly someone who wants to avoid the ticket inspector for the full 3 hour length of this journey

I obviously just went to another loo but it really pisses me off - when you’ve got carriages of people who have paid sixty quid for a ticket 👿

AIBU or does this really grind the gears for anyone else?!

OP posts:
TheMemoryLingers · 28/02/2020 23:09

Would you like it if someone was rattling the door handle and knocking?

I'd rather be in the toilet, while someone was rattling the handle, than be the one outside the toilet, rattling the handle while trying not to shit myself.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 28/02/2020 23:11

Yes they bloody do. If there is one loo on the train and other people need to use it - including those people who carry ‘just can’t wait’ cards, or are disabled, or who have IBS - then yes, they deserve an explanation of why they cannot use the only train loo because somebody else has decided that they need it more for a long period of time.

first there clearly was more than 1 toilet there, the OP found it.

What explanation do you need? If you believe for a minute that people "decide" to have diarrhoea or bad period, or they soiled themselves and they are frantically trying to clean their clothes, then why don't you "decide" not to need the loo.

It works both ways I am afraid.

The OP huffed and puffed and rattled the handle for 5 minutes.... it might be slightly longer than your normal usual, but it's not an outrageous time either.

People are just so mean and ridiculous on this thread.

Eckhart · 28/02/2020 23:13

Yes, as would the occupant of the toilet in the OP. What's your point?

Eckhart · 28/02/2020 23:15

When on earth has anybody felt it was ok to ask a complete stranger to explain and justify their time in a public convenience?!

WagtailRobin · 28/02/2020 23:17

Someone could have Crohn's, IBS, a Colostomy bag that has burst, leakage on a heavy period, experiencing a mental health episode etc, there are many possibilities beyond them "trying to avoid the ticket inspector".

bernardswatchplease · 28/02/2020 23:17

I can't wait for OP to come back with a massive drip feed

JudyCoolibar · 28/02/2020 23:24

If I find a loo on a train occupied and there are others available, I just move on to try the others. Why on earth would you hang around trying the door and timing them?

TheMemoryLingers · 28/02/2020 23:35

Why on earth would you hang around trying the door and timing them?

  • Because there might be only one loo functioning on the train
  • Because the train might be so busy that people are standing in the aisles and it's impossible to get through another carriage to another loo
  • Because you might have mobility issues that make it difficult to walk along a swaying train in search of another loo
LifeImplosionImminent · 28/02/2020 23:59

If the toilet is manky I take ages to pee even if I'm desperate, like my body just says "nope, I'll wait" especially on trains and coaches - if some twat was knocking on the door that would set me back another 10 minutes!

Mittens030869 · 29/02/2020 00:05

I suffer from constipation on and off. It's very embarrassing when I'm using a public toilet, and I hate keeping other people waiting. But someone knocking on the toilet door wouldn't make the process any quicker.

I suppose some are fare dodgers. But the ticket collector always catches up with them eventually, as other posters have said. It doesn't make it right for another passenger to rattle the handle. You won't know whether or not the person on the toilet has a health problem, and if they do, they'll be mortified anyway at needing to sit on a public toilet for a lengthy period of time. Rattling the handle will only make them feel worse than they already do. (I've always done my best to avoid having to do a poo on a train toilet and only do so if it was a case of needs must.

Iamthewombat · 29/02/2020 00:18

I've always done my best to avoid having to do a poo on a train toilet and only do so if it was a case of needs must.

I don’t know why I find this so funny. Perhaps it is the suggestion that some people poo on trains just for fun.

Iamthewombat · 29/02/2020 00:26

People are just so mean and ridiculous on this thread.

This is funny too. Gangs of posters queuing up to bash the OP and it’s everyone else who is ‘mean and ridiculous’.

If it helps, an earlier poster said that nobody owes anybody an explanation of how long they spend in a train loo. Well, I’m afraid they do. Many trains have only one loo, and trains carry hundreds of people, including people with health conditions that mean they need access to a loo. That the person in the loo got there first and plans to spend an hour in there for whatever reason doesn’t give them first dibs or the right to seethe with self-righteous indignation that somebody dares to question their lavatory schedule.

If you’re hogging a loo, for whatever reason, you should have the courtesy to consider other users and explain to them that you might be a while. You might even decide that your heavy period is trumped by the needs of the person outside who is undergoing cancer treatment.

TheMemoryLingers · 29/02/2020 00:35

Iamthewombat I suspect the real reason for the way this thread has gone is that hardly any of the posters have made regular or recent long-distance train journeys. They're either only used to commuter trains or else they once made a 3 hour train journey in 1986 and haven't encountered the vast reduction that's taken place in train toilet provision since them, because every train toilet equals a non-revenue-generating space in a train.

Iamthewombat · 29/02/2020 00:40

Agreed. I was on a cross country train this weekend. Packed with people, only one loo.

Eckhart · 29/02/2020 07:27

I suspect that the reason some people are so stuffed full of righteous wisdom is because they assign totally unfounded reasoning to other people's words, never considering that their own experience might not be the ultimate and conclusive example of 'experience'.

Aridane · 29/02/2020 07:27

Why on earth would you hang around trying the door and timing them?

  • Because there might be only one loo functioning on the train
  • Because the train might be so busy that people are standing in the aisles and it's impossible to get through another carriage to another loo
  • Because you might have mobility issues that make it difficult to walk along a swaying train in search of another loo

None of which were applicable with CF OP

Iamthewombat · 29/02/2020 07:34

I suspect that the reason some people are so stuffed full of righteous wisdom is because they assign totally unfounded reasoning to other people's words, never considering that their own experience might not be the ultimate and conclusive example of 'experience'.

Is this you trying to look clever? It isn’t working.

Eckhart · 29/02/2020 07:35

No, it's me saying what I said.

LakieLady · 29/02/2020 07:44

I lived in Austria for a while, and the toilets at Vienna station cost the equivalent of 30p to use - cash only

Sidetrack warning. The toilets at Brighton station cost 30p to use, which is possibly why the side streets around the station stink of piss. But at Eastbourne station they are free. I think 30p to have a wee (or a crap) is outrageous, frankly.

Booksandwine80 · 29/02/2020 08:52

Go and find another toilet. Are you always this spiteful?

Mittens030869 · 29/02/2020 09:01

Iamawombat

I've always done my best to avoid having to do a poo on a train toilet and only do so if it was a case of needs must.

I don’t know why I find this so funny. Perhaps it is the suggestion that some people poo on trains just for fun.

No, I'm not saying that, you've conveniently ignored the part of my post that explains why I feel that way, it's because of my problem with constipation. It's so embarrassing if I have to keep people waiting while I take ages to finish. ((And yes, I've had people rattling the toilet door handle too, which is horribly stressful if there really isn't anything you can do to speed up the process.). Plus I hate going to the toilet on the train anyway.

I've also been on the other end of this, though not on a train. I've had to cue up for the ladies public toilets with a potty training toddler complaining, 'Mummy, I need a wee wee.' I wouldn't dream of rattling the door handle, though.

catwithnohat · 29/02/2020 09:01

I think 30p to have a wee (or a crap) is outrageous, frankly."

Frankly, I'd pay more if it meant that they were clean, with bog paper, hot water, soap and a working drier.

Mittens030869 · 29/02/2020 09:10

Frankly, I'd pay more if it meant that they were clean, with bog paper, hot water, soap and a working drier.

Agreed. Public toilets are so often filthy, with people wilfully not flushing after themselves. Sometimes there isn't a toilet I can bring myself to use. And so often there's no bog roll.

hoxtonbabe · 29/02/2020 09:26

The op would have had serious issues with me if she pulled this stunt and my taking 5 minutes in the toilet would have been the least of her issues.

I take regular journeys from London to Nottingham, or Liverpool, I’m yet to get on one where ALL bar one toilet is working, that said the OP wasn’t restricted to one toilet but the fact she said she has a tactic of embarrassing people out the toilet when she feels they are taking too long is a CF special and I know I would have come to serious blows with her as I have never gone out my way to take long in the loos in fact I avoid the train toilets so if I’m using it, it’s out of desperation and the last thing I need is some arsehole getting in a huff because I’m not doing my business in a timeframe SHE considers timely especially when 3 minutes isn’t actually that long... over 5 minutes I get but even then I would just go to a different toilet not start aggressively going at the door handle but 3/4 minutes, GTFOH.

Mittens030869 · 29/02/2020 10:00

Oh dear, did I say 'cue' rather than the word I should have used, which is 'queue'. Silly me!! Blush