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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Child Maintenance when self employed

12 replies

4dig · 27/02/2020 17:38

Ex pays randomly and at much lower rate than CMS calculator suggests he should. I now know a rough wage for him as the company he works for recently put up a job advert for the same role. He's paid the same rate for 5 years with no rise despite bragging over having higher paid jobs. I've never bothered to question it and was just glad having a regular payment.
He now works on a self employed basis but is contracted to do this work by a company rather than working for solely himself.
He's always told me that I would screw myself over if I was to aply via CMS and I have never perused it because of this.
Now that he is working for a company would there be a reliable record of the amount he is being paid? So would CMS now be a viable option or is it better to continue getting minimal (but more than I would if he managed to hide most of his earnings from CMS) money at random and trying to arrange finances without it and treating it as a bonus if it gets there on time to help with costs?
For 11 months he has not paid on a certain date. He will generally pay late but has also paid early on 2 occasions. I am having to move money around constantly to try and cover until he decides to pay. He missed one month entirely but says my calculations are out. I feel he's using this to control me, I don't want to ask him for money again, there is a long history of control and I want to break this now having very minimal contact with him and want all matters resolved.
Unreasonable/silly to try to chase child maintenance or just be glad when he does pay?

OP posts:
TheyDoDoThat · 27/02/2020 17:42

He's always told me that I would screw myself over if I was to aply via CMS and I have never perused it because of this.

Of course he said that, lying prick. I’d go for it.

LakieLady · 27/02/2020 17:45

I'd grass the company up for spurious self-employment. HMRC don't like that sort of thing!

littleduckeggblue · 27/02/2020 17:47

How much does he currently pay?

4dig · 27/02/2020 18:20

£183 pm for 2 children, has 3 more in his own home. No overnight contact. He's definitely earning more than £27000 annually.

OP posts:
InCognitoZombie · 27/02/2020 18:24

My partner pays around that for his 2 children and is on 17k and 1 other dependant...
Go to cms.

4dig · 27/02/2020 18:42

I've heard so many stories of people being able to avoid paying anything near the suggested amounts through being self employed. I've always just taken what he's decided to pay because it's better than £6 a week or something ridiculous.

OP posts:
DimplesToadfoot · 27/02/2020 18:47

Just be warned - at the moment you're getting something. If you go to CMS it could back fire on you. If he seriously doesn't want to pay he will find a way, Being self employed makes it so much easier for them :-(

My kids dad didn't pay 1 penny, CSA couldn't make him and neither could CMS, the courts or the bailiffs - The bailiffs wouldn't impound his brand new paid for in cash Jaguar as he "needed it for work", despite him also having a cheaper runaround and self employed status works van.

The day my youngest turned 18 and although still in full time education for another 6 years CMS closed the case and wrote off all the arrears.

I wish you well I really do and I dont want to be a grinch but shit can happen and it does :-(

hoxtonbabe · 27/02/2020 19:03

This is the dilemma I’m in. But with the added bonus of my not knowing where he is. His other ex sprung up and he then basically cut my sons maintenance by 80% without warning and said if I take him to the cms and I could end up with nothing. Just plain nasty and cruel and left me in debt because of this.

If I could find out if he was paying his ex via the CMS then I’d be in a better position to go after him this route, it would also help if I could find the shit as part of the reason he is being like this is because I can’t find him, he has actively gone out his way to remain hidden/wants nothing to do with his son despite them talking regularly until 3 years ago.

It’s a tricky one when they are self employed as they can play around with the numbers in a way a person employed for a company can’t and claim they live on a pittance when in reality they are earning six figures!!!

Dontdisturbmenow · 27/02/2020 19:08

I agree with previous poster and advice prudence.

What the company is doing might be totally legitimate. Many companies operate like this. If he is self-employed though, he can indeed play with the books and probably make it look like he is getting less than he is.

Also having three kids at home will lower what he owes and that he can easily evidence. There have a been a number of examples here where SMs have said that when the mother took her ex to sms, she ended up with less, even lot less than what she was getting before.

SoloMummy · 27/02/2020 19:40

He may receive 27k, but that will be offset against expenses of which he will then pay himself a much smaller salary and the rest will be returned untouchable expenses. Then possibly dividends or investment into the company plus pension contributions.

Many go self employed purposely.....

4dig · 28/02/2020 06:42

He doesn't have a company, not that's linked to his actual work, and there are now no sites or promoting of the business he had previously. He works for a company but on a self employed basis now. I suppose it would depend on how it's all arranged really. He may well be part of the construction industry scheme.

I just can't chase it anymore. It's the control over me being able to do things that matters, even if those things are buying uniforms and booking clubs when I want to. I shouldn't need to know when the money is coming because it's not for me anyway. I'm drained by all of it. There are lots of elements he can still control but I just want to stop what I can and minimize the contact I have to have.

OP posts:
Whatafustercluck · 28/02/2020 08:03

I'd go down the CMS route. If it results in smaller payment have a word in HMRC's ear. Once his shady dealings are out in the open and they know exactly how much he's got, go back through cms. One other thing to consider, when going for divorce you can apply for full disclosure of all finances. Could you get legal advice and see if that's an option?

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