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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not upgrade the phone?

73 replies

CrackedPhoneScreen · 27/02/2020 16:53

DS (14) has a phone with a cracked screen. He is one year into a two-year contract. It has insurance but when i called a couple of months ago they say they don't replace for cosmetic damage. Previous to finding this out, he was happy for me to just try and replace it on the insurance.

So he went researching and found a phone for £70 no sim. It is the cheapest smartphone available no sim on Amazon.

He now wants this phone. We are in the red so this would not be a small purchase for us.

Complicating this fact is the fact that at Christmas my phone (which I had used with a cracked screen for about a year) completely died. So I got a simfree one from amazon at the start of January. (I had no insurance, I have been arguing my phone contract since August with a company that got closed down and taken over)

This died last week as well - it wouldnt turn on. I am not having much luck with phones! and am now also arguing for a refund from Amazon for this.

I finally resolved my dispute with the phone contract people and they offered me a new phone on a smaller contract - so actually saving money. Which we are trying to do generally - see above!

So, DS has, as he sees it, two options.

  1. I try AGAIN with his insurance as tbf, the crack has got worse - although it can still be used, unlike my phone

  2. get us to buy the £70 phone.

He is insisting on option 2 and is no longer happy with option one, saying that as soon as android 10 comes out it will be obsolete.

He says "well you are getting a new phone every month" and cant see the difference between an adult with children/work and needing to be contactable, the fact it was free the second time with a contract that SAVED US MONEY as phones completely dead and a teen with a cracked phone!

AIBU not upgrading the phone ?

(to add, this would be the SECOND time we replaced on insurance. He lost his last phone overseas. And other DS also had a phone with a worse cracked screen for far longer and didnt complain, which was also eventually replaced with the basic insurance!)

(to add further, yes, perhaps we should all just be banned from phones altogether!)

OP posts:
Original poster
CrackedPhoneScreen · 27/02/2020 17:32

Oh Matilda don't get me started on clothes! We have replaced so much PE kit this year!

OP posts:
Surfer25 · 27/02/2020 17:32

He can live with a cracked phone because he broke it.

It wants a new one he can save the £70.

Original poster
CrackedPhoneScreen · 27/02/2020 17:33

I guess I feel guilty he has a cracked phone while I got a new one :(

Gah teens are hard!

OP posts:
Original poster
CrackedPhoneScreen · 27/02/2020 17:34

Should I give him my new one?

But then his phone is locked to Tesco so my sim won't work in his. Can you unlock them?

OP posts:
Original poster
CrackedPhoneScreen · 27/02/2020 17:36

Also to add, DH is due an upgrade. So technically he could have his - but we could sell DH old one for around £150 - which would buy other ds a new bike?

OP posts:
mantarays · 27/02/2020 17:37

Why is DH due an upgrade?

Surfer25 · 27/02/2020 17:38

I can see why your son pushes you to buy the phone

You're losing it over a phone screen...you are a push over

Having a cracked screen killed no one

motherheroic · 27/02/2020 17:38

Why are you giving him your new phone? All this hand wringing over a damn crack. He either sells something else he owns to replace the phone/fix the screen. Or he continues on with the cracked phone. It's really that simple.

bridgetreilly · 27/02/2020 17:40

I guess I feel guilty he has a cracked phone while I got a new one

WELL DON'T!!!!!

You are entitled to have nice things and he is plenty old enough to learn to take better care of his own things.

motherheroic · 27/02/2020 17:40

@Surfer25 Agreed, it's verging on annoying actually.

bridgetreilly · 27/02/2020 17:41

but we could sell DH old one for around £150 - which would buy other ds a new bike?

Yes, do this. Which solves a number of problems:
DS who needs a bike gets one.
Other DS learns that whinging doesn't work.

OliviaBenson · 27/02/2020 17:42

Op are you usually such a walkover? Why on earth would you consider giving him your new one?

You can't afford to replace it. If you had the money it should go to your other sons bike which is essential. He has a usable phone albeit with a cracked screen.

If I was your other son I'd be gutted at the favouritism.

Get him no phone. Be the adult here.

Notreallyhappy · 27/02/2020 17:44

He's 14 & should understand if he's told you don't have the money that's it..
He can wait until your flush & his non complaining brother has his bike.
Stay strong there will always be something from a 14yr old x

coconuttelegraph · 27/02/2020 17:48

Tell him not to be such an entitled child and read this

www.newsnation.in/sports/football/sadio-mane-cracked-iphone-liverpool-premier-league-250281.html

All of your explanations are unnecessary, he has a phone that works, he broke it, you can't afford a new one.

Deadpoet1 · 27/02/2020 17:49

My children know that having a phone is a privilege not a right. They also know if they crack the screen etc they do not get a new one. You are in the red so spending £70 is a big outlay for you at this time. As long as his phone is working I wouldn't be replacing it.

Original poster
CrackedPhoneScreen · 27/02/2020 17:51

I am not trying to be annoying. Sorry.

I just get talked around by him and he makes me feel unreasonable. He has ASD so twists what you say and it can be quite uncomfortable for everyone when he gets things stuck in his head. This does not mean we give in all the time though! This is an argument that has been going on months now and he is obsessive.

Yes, other DS needs a new bike, and we will replace when we sell DH phone. He wouldn't upgrade usually, it was just trying to find a solution to everything that brought it up as a possibility.

I am going to stand firm. I will be hated and unreasonable in his eyes but oh well! I will brace for impact!

OP posts:
Original poster
CrackedPhoneScreen · 27/02/2020 17:52

Added to that I also am on the spectrum so can get twisted up too!

OP posts:
LakieLady · 27/02/2020 17:52

It does need to be a smartphone as their school has homework apps

That's outrageous imo. How are struggling families meant to afford that, especially if they have more than one child at the school.

Schools seem to love making parents spend their money. Ridiculous uniform that can only be purchased from a rip-off "approved supplier" makes my blood boil, too.

AKAanothername · 27/02/2020 17:54

Your DH doesn't have to upgrade his phone when the contract ends, he can just transfer to a sim only deal and keep the phone he's got, might save you £30 per month.

Winterlife · 27/02/2020 17:56

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. However, look at Chinese phones on alibaba and similar sites in the future. My daughter purchased a phone that is better than my iPhone for CDN$100.

SavageBeauty73 · 27/02/2020 17:56

Why can't you fix his cracked screen? Cheaper option 🤷‍♀️

ChickLitLover · 27/02/2020 17:56

Should I give him my new one?

I would do this for my child and have his one with a cracked screen for myself in your situation. Phones are important to teens, not so much for us, other kids take the piss if they don’t have the ‘right’ stuff, it’s not right but it happens. It’s the pressure from others which makes them appear a bit selfish.

Alternatively, give your husbands old or new phone to your son on condition that your son gives his bike to his brother, then both kids get something and you and DH both have a decent phone as well.

SpoonBlender · 27/02/2020 18:00

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BeyondMyWits · 27/02/2020 18:00

If it still works, put a screen protector sheet on it and carry on (like many do) - less chance of glass splinters that way.

strawberry2017 · 27/02/2020 18:02

Stop feeling guilty over a 14 year old and his phone. Don't give him your phone.
He needs to learn to take better care of his things.
Teenagers are only hard if you pander to their every whim because you are just teaching them that they can have what they want when they want it.
You need a phone as priority. You get a phone.
His still works, he keeps it.

Plus if you would actually struggle financially just because he isn't happy then you need to re-evaluate priorities.
Like someone said, he doesn't need a smart phone if it's just so you can reach him when he's out.