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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to facilitate collection of a cat

68 replies

Catlover196 · 27/02/2020 16:50

Hello, I volunteer for a charity where I foster cats until they are adopted. The benefits of this for the charity is the cat stays with me for free rather than they pay by day for a cattery, and the cat enjoys a loving home rather than being in a cattery.

I’ve currently got a little cat who has required some serious health issues investigating. Apparently during this time someone became interested in adopting him but I was not told. I went away for a weekend so placed the cat in the cattery and the prospective adopter visited and reserved him during this weekend.

Yesterday he had the all clear from his test results so I was given the number of the prospective adopter to make contact so that they could come to my house and collect him. I made contact today advising I was free any day next week from Monday onwards.

The man then phoned me and unleashed a barrage of anger saying if he couldn’t collect him tonight he wasn’t going to have him at all and that he has been messed around for three weeks. I stated he hasn’t been messed around - the cat was undergoing tests!

I ended up having to hang up on him due to the angry arguing that I did not want to participate in.

I informed the charity saying I had concerns and wouldn’t let this man in my house. They asked if they could collect him Saturday which is not convenient for me due to a family commitment. They then asked if I could drive him 20minutes to the vet on Monday at a specific time that would require me to leave work early.

I normally drive him everywhere and don’t have an issue but am I just being unreasonable not wanting to facilitate anything to do with this meeting?

OP posts:
Gottalovesummer · 27/02/2020 20:24

Hi OP. What amazing work you do as a foster. Thank you!

Is it possible for you to adopt this cat? I agree with ^^ that this man should not be able to adopt.

Reasonable people do NOT get angry com shout at foster carers. They are polite and grateful.

The charity sound appalling for going ahead despite your concern.

HmmIsThisAGoodIdea · 27/02/2020 20:44

There's a lack of social skills and there's not giving a shit about this poor cat's health. He's clearly suffering from the latter. This cat will be going to a terrible home. I would quite honestly fight the rescue tooth and nail on this one! Which one is it OP? Please feel free to PM me. I have a lot of contacts in rescues across the country and would be happy to have a word if you think it might help?

Original poster
Catlover196 · 28/02/2020 08:59

Thanks for all your help. The charity have suggested one of their members will now collect the cat on Monday from me.

Since receiving the cat over a month ago he has had diarrhoea and I was treating him with medication given to me by the vet which I think was basically Imodium and they didn’t investigate the underlying cause. The diarrhoea cleared up after a couple of weeks so I haven’t been treating him for at least 3 weeks. Then I started noticing blood in his stool. The charity spoke with the vet who is one of the charity member’s nephew. The vet said it could be stress or a mild infection that they do overcome themselves. Apparently the treatment for it is not pleasant and often not necessary, so he doesn't want to go down that road unless he has to.
Then today the cat has had diarrhoea again. They are going to rehome him without investigating these issues to the man that was hostile towards me over the phone.

OP posts:
Gottalovesummer · 28/02/2020 09:20

Just read your update.

Is it possible for you to keep the cat and adopt?

This man sounds awful.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 28/02/2020 09:23

The bloody charity sounds awful, let alone the man.

This is so upsetting.

Itsseweasy · 28/02/2020 09:27

Your update is very concerning. Is this inpatient man really going to provide a loving home to a new cat that will potentially poo all over his house?
I can’t believe the charity are going ahead with the rehoming without getting to the bottom of the health issues (no pun intended). It’s not in the cat’s best interests, nor the new owner’s to rush the rehoming surely?

Itsseweasy · 28/02/2020 09:29

As a side note - I was “messed around” by a charity when I adopted my cat.
I was patient and flexible as I knew they were working to the cats best interests. It would ring alarm bells for me that this cat possibly isn’t going to the best possible home 😕

DobbyTheHouseElk · 28/02/2020 09:29

Poor cat, this man doesn’t sound like he’s going to care for the cat. He sounds unhinged.

TW2013 · 28/02/2020 09:31

I would maybe find a more reputable charity to volunteer for another time. One of ours had chronic diarrhoea when we first got her. A gluten free diet (she had been scavenging before we got her and previous owners fed her pasta) and Pro-Kolin for a few months really helped. Does the prospective adopter understand that the cat has ongoing diarrhoea? To be honest if she hadn't already decided to adopt us and make everyone fall in love with her it would have been tricky if she hadn't recovered.

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 28/02/2020 09:38

If the charity was adamant that they were going ahead with this then I’d be informing them to remove me from their list of fosterers, I wouldn’t be able to work with them again. Poor cat Sad

Travis1 · 28/02/2020 09:38

Which charity is this? I am really quite concerned for the cats in their care if this is their policies. That is completely unacceptable in terms of the person they are allowing to adopt and the health care for the cat.

Unbelievable.

spongejack · 28/02/2020 09:41

No way would I allow him in the house, not sure about the rest.

Lobsterquadrille2 · 28/02/2020 09:43

I've just found this thread and, like many others, am appalled by the intentions of the charity, let alone the would-be cat adopter. Could you say that the cat has escaped ....?

FizzyGreenWater · 28/02/2020 09:51

What is the charity?!

This is awful. Firstly the cat clearly isn't fit to be rehomed right now.

Secondly they should not be prepared to continue discussions with someone who has behaved threateningly towards their staff, voluntary or not. That should mean instant unsuitability to be an adopter.

Even if he had not behaved aggressively, the fact that he describes essential medical tests as messing him around also is a red flag for adoption. He doesn't even want to be delayed by a couple of days adopting as it puts him out - do you really think he sounds like the kind of person to then put himself out in the future to take the cat to the vets if it needed it, or indeed even to look after it properly in other ways unless it's convenient for him to do so? Massive red flag.

I would set this out to the charity and report this as high as they go.

Original poster
Catlover196 · 28/02/2020 09:52

Just to add the health problem that they did investigate that he underwent tests for was a heart murmur.

OP posts:
Original poster
Catlover196 · 28/02/2020 09:53

I am worried about saying which charity but it is one of the most famous national ones.

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 28/02/2020 10:00

In that case, you have time and the opportunity to raise an urgent complaint with head office. Please do so!

Cupcakey · 28/02/2020 10:07

If he gets angry like that at you I would say it's not a loving home the cat is going in to. I think the charity need to stop the adoption. Do everything you can to stop it. Xx

StarUtopia · 28/02/2020 10:10

I wouldn't allow someone like this to have the cat!

What a knob.

He'll be screaming at the cat if he gets him and god knows what else.

LochJessMonster · 28/02/2020 10:11

He’s not your cat. He belongs to the charity and if they still wish to rehome him to this man then that is their choice and right. He obviously passed all their checks previously.

If you don’t agree with them, don’t foster for them anymore.

Babdoc · 28/02/2020 10:11

OP, some vile people adopt rescue cats to use for training fighting dogs. The cats are literally torn apart. This might explain why your angry man doesn’t seem to care about the cat’s health issues or potential future medical bills.
Any normal prospective owner would want the cat fully investigated and treated before taking them on, or would back out of adopting such a lot of potential veterinary expense.
Please try again to get the charity to listen to your concerns.

StarUtopia · 28/02/2020 10:12

Ooh Just saw post above...

I'd say the cat has escaped!

Shame!

And then just keep the cat yourself.

OhLook · 28/02/2020 10:14

Pretend he has gone out/escaped and not come back. Then keep him or re-home him to someone you find yourself.

ellendegeneres · 28/02/2020 10:18

Oh fuck no. I’d not hand the cat over to someone like that. I’d be raising merry hell, no way would I allow it

User56781234 · 28/02/2020 11:25

This poor cat with his numerous health concerns cannot be left with a man who unleashes a 'barrage of anger' and argues with foster carers! I am at a loss to understand why your local branch wish to proceed. At best, this will be a failed adoption with the cat being returned in a distressed state to the charity.

Please contact this charity's head office and raise a formal, written concern / complaint stating what has happened here in time to halt this adoption process before Monday.

I would also reconsider fostering for this charity if they are willing to put you in such an awful position which is not in the cat's best interests.