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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think biting a child is never a good idea?

3 replies

Yarnbombqueen · 27/02/2020 13:33

Name changed, as you may expect. I could really do with some advice as to what to do next, if anything. In general I leave parenting to the parents as I know full well that all children are different and all parents are different, but this has really thrown me.

When I was collecting my ds from his childminder this week, I could hear voices from another room but not what was said, I was with the cm doing handover for my child. Then a loud scream and crying, and another child came running from the back room followed by their mother. Child crying and upset, I asked the mum if everything was ok (thinking maybe something had fallen, I don’t know) and the child said ‘mummy bit me’ and held out her arm where I could see bite marks. No blood, just marks. The mum then said ‘it’s the only way they’ll learn’, got their things and left. I could see the cm was shocked and tbh I was too, she asked me to leave and not say anything, she would deal with it. She is a great cm and I am sure she will do whatever is appropriate. But it’s stayed with me. The child is preschool aged, I know has bitten my child before but not often, possibly others looked after there have had the same and that is what I presume happened earlier in the day. I can understand snapping in anger but cannot see the sense in biting a child back, surely that just makes them think it’s ok? To add another concern, the other mum is a member of staff in a school and I believe is in an early years class (not entirely sure, it’s not the school my older ones are in) and I can’t help thinking that if anyone should be familiar with a range of ways to handle biting, it should be someone like a teacher or TA? I don’t know what to make of this whole thing. Is it something I should report? To who? Or trust the cm to do the right thing? Something about the whole thing is making me uneasy.

OP posts:
HoneysuckIejasmine · 27/02/2020 13:36

I would contact the cm to confirm she has taken action. I wouldn't expect her to confirm exactly what action though, protect privacy of the child

WhyCantIThinkOfAGoodOne · 27/02/2020 13:40

YANBU. I'd be shocked and concerned too op!

Hoik · 27/02/2020 13:41

Childminder likely won't be able to give you any details due to confidentiality but she has a duty to raise safeguarding concerns so should have passed on details of the incident to the relevant people.

If you don't think she has, or you would rather report it too so you know for certain it is done, then you can raise a safeguarding concern. If you google the name of your local council plus safeguarding then it should bring up information on how to report a concern.

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