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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband grumping with blocked ear

43 replies

NearlyGranny · 27/02/2020 11:02

He gets blocked ears with earwax about once every year or so. The local surgery say they've stopped doing it. Perhaps it's cuts, they didn't say.

It's been over a week of grumpiness and listening having to hear him complain about how he's paid for this with his NI. He's spent money on a kit that didn't work and this morning he's huffed off the the local MIU where he expects to get it done. Earlier in the week, I had a pretty gruelling appointment at the County hospital and he was umming and ahing about whether he would walk across to A&E to get them to see to it while he waited for me. I did manage talk him out of that.

All the while he could have gone to Boots and paid £35 and be happily hearing again instead of trying to pick fights with me. He's even gone into town to complain to our MP about it, which is only a few doors away from Boots. I tried to help by googling where he could get it done, which he could easily have done himself, but all he did was moan at me for bringing my phone into to the bedroom.

Is it unreasonable to expect him to have sorted this promptly himself by now? He's not short of money and he's not been pleadant company at all for ten days now. I'd have every sympathy if it were something incurable, but I'm growing weary of tiptoeing around him, though I haven't snapped at him - yet!

OP posts:
userxx · 28/02/2020 08:39

@dennisdonut I didn't read the link, I'm just going on my own experience. When I have used the candles a fair amount of wax was drawn out.

dennisdonut · 28/02/2020 09:24

@userxx it explains what it is and how they cause more damage than removal x

steff13 · 28/02/2020 09:34

How can it be a placebo when you can see the wax that's been drawn out?

I've read that the wax you see hasn't been drawn out from ear but is wax from the candle itself.

www.healthline.com/health/cosmetic-safety/ear-candling

"According to the American Academy of Audiology, there is no scientific evidence that ear candling pulls out debris from the ear canal. Scientific measurements of the ear canals before and after candling show no reduction in earwax."

NearlyGranny · 28/02/2020 12:16

Well, he's ignoring the message on the chalkboard and I've literally been told I'm "in the doghouse" though I'm grey-rocking sooner than ask why.

Oh, and I've just Amazoned some door and drawer silencers after hearing him prepare his lunch. We haven't needed those since DD1 was a stroppy teen. Nothing to be done about the poor saucepans, though.

I'm thinking about running him up a headband that says VICTIM on it.

OP posts:
userxx · 28/02/2020 12:48

I've read that the wax you see hasn't been drawn out from ear but is wax from the candle itself.

That makes sense I suppose.

Zombiemum1946 · 28/02/2020 13:58

Olive oil and bicarbonate of soda ear drops. Do the drops regularly all year. Go on to the ent.co.uk site. Ear pain, smelly or bloody discharge see the GP. Most ent depts will run a rapid access dr/nurse led clinic.
Nothing flammable, no soap and most definitely no poking about. Have seen some horrible injuries from ear candles and nasty infections from car keys and Kirby grips. If he's not complying with general ear wax care then you are not being unreasonable. Kick some wax butt.

Zombiemum1946 · 28/02/2020 14:02

Apologies I meant the NHS web site.

Zombiemum1946 · 28/02/2020 14:10

I also have a dh who won't comply, and now gets no sympathy.

iMatter · 28/02/2020 14:15

So he could get it fixed but chooses not to?

Zero sympathy

He prefers to be in pain, coinciding with your hospital appointment so everything's about him rather than him supporting you

Vile man

Knittedfairies · 28/02/2020 14:21

When I offered to use my daughter's pull-through brush (for cleaning her trumpet) on my husband's blocked ear, he went to Boots to get it sorted out.

NearlyGranny · 28/02/2020 15:01

I've been thinking about the deep hot bath idea... 😁

OP posts:
KayDog · 28/02/2020 15:07

Local chemists in my area offer micro suction treatment, I'm not sure of cost but maybe that's an option?

Beautiful3 · 28/02/2020 15:16

Olive oil is very good. Help him put them in once a week. It does work.

Zombiemum1946 · 28/02/2020 15:16

If he does opt for the microsuction, still use olive oil as it makes the wax softer and therefore easier to remove.

Floribundance · 28/02/2020 15:18

You could give him micro suction ear cleaning as a birthday gift. It could start a whole new trend for Red Letter Day type voucher gifts Grin

Zombiemum1946 · 28/02/2020 15:39

Floribundance now that's an idea. Smile

Rosebud21 · 28/02/2020 15:50

Some GPs no longer provide ear syringing as dry ear wax can be self-managed.

“Earwax usually falls out on its own. If it does not and blocks your ear, put 2 to 3 drops of olive or almond oil in your ear twice a day for a few days. Over 2 weeks lumps of earwax should fall out of your ear, especially at night when you're lying down. There's no evidence that ear candles or ear vacuums get rid of earwax”. www.nhs.uk/conditions/earwax-build-up/

Google (or search engine of choice) microsuctioning if you don't want to do the above

Over the counter wax softening preparations are available, their preservatives can irritate canal skin.

The wax needs time to soften, and fall out naturally. Do not be tempted to fill the canal & leave oil in overnight, it won't soften wax more quickly, & may make canals soggy, crack and become infected

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