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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grandparents taking 2.5 year old away for a weekend

28 replies

ItsMischerWavy · 27/02/2020 10:11

Morning everyone,

Would just like to check if AIBU to think this is OK.

My dad and the rest of my family live 200 miles away from me, he has just asked if he can have my daughter to stay for a long weekend (Fri-Mon)

My daughter is 2.5, outgoing and not clingy. She doesn't get that much of a chance to spend time with grandparents due to the distance but obviously does know them. They've had her for entire days before. I think this would be a brilliant opportunity for her to bond with her grandparents and great nan and don't see a problem. AIBU?

Thanks

OP posts:
Cdstjooyv · 27/02/2020 10:14

My oldest spends 1 two night stay a month with his grandparents about the same distance away. Has done since he turned one. Both him and they love it, they spoil him and he gets to play with their animals so win win

DesLynamsMoustache · 27/02/2020 10:15

YANBU. Sounds like they'll all have a ball!

Camomila · 27/02/2020 10:15

Sounds fine to me, My parents live locally but DS started having the occasional sleepover with them around that age eg, so we could go to a wedding or when we moved and needed to finish packing everything up.

If she gets a bit lonely you can facetime/whatsapp video call, thats what we do.

Daftodil · 27/02/2020 10:17

Sounds fine as long as she knows them & spends time with them already. If worried, build up facetime calls beforehand.

Will you be staying nearby? 200 miles and back on a Friday and again on a Monday might take its toll on whoever is doing the driving.

LightDrizzle · 27/02/2020 10:17

You know your child.

What would be wrong for one at that age can be fine your another.

If she’s managed for whole days before then give it a go.
Has she stayed overnight anywhere before?
Until about aged 6, my little best friend always thought she wanted to stay overnight at mine, but come bedtime she was in tears for her mum and would have to go back, - but you could literally see their bungalow from our upstairs window so it was easy.

That would be my only worry, missing you come bedtime and being inconsolable. At that distance you are stuffed.

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday · 27/02/2020 10:18

That sounds like a lovely treat for everyone. (Can they take my 14 year old and 16 year old too? Grin)

NomNomNomNom · 27/02/2020 10:18

If she knows them and you think she'll be happy to go why not? I would have sent DD in a heartbeat at that age and she would have loved it but not DS because he would have been miserable to be away from me.

Booboostwo · 27/02/2020 10:18

It depends entirely on the child. The children I know who spend holidays (up to 3 weeks) with their grandparents have been cared for by them on a regular basis since young so it’s not a big deal (I live in a country and come from a country where grandparents are often a childcare option).

TheSandgroper · 27/02/2020 10:21

My 2c worth. It happened to me in similar circumstances when I was three. My DM was of the opinion later that I was too young and it was too long. Perhaps try just a few overnights to start with.

AriadnesFilament · 27/02/2020 10:23

You know your child and you know your dad and you know your family - why are you asking a load of strangers who don’t know any of these people to make a standard parenting decision for you?

Unless there are other factors at play such as an ex or a husband disagreeing about it, or real life people telling you you’re wrong, I don’t understand why you don’t trust your own decision-making skills/need further input.

Icecreamdiva · 27/02/2020 10:24

If you think your DD will be happy and you are happy with the care she will receive then of course it will be fine. If you had any doubts then it would be a completely different situation.

AudacityOfHope · 27/02/2020 10:24

All sounds fine to me! At that age if they have a moment when they want their mummy they're very easily distractable.

Original poster
ItsMischerWavy · 27/02/2020 10:25

Bit more info, she's used to being away from me and has had regular overnight stays with her other grandparent who is closer. She also goes for days out with other people. (god I sound like I farm her out constantly..... I don't!)

We've stayed with far away grandparents every couple of months for periods too so she is used to them in that respect And talks about them alot.

OP posts:
Tombakersscarf · 27/02/2020 10:25

How will she get there? Will you be dropping her off and so can see how she is? Could you not spend the first night with her? Three nights is quite a long time out of nowhere.

Ponoka7 · 27/02/2020 10:26

It's perfectly normal where I live.

I've taken my GC away for a couple of days, at the same age.

chocorabbit · 27/02/2020 10:42

I just wanted to say that my youngest, although she loves spending time with her GP if they attempted to keep her overnight as a baby or toddler just about 21:30 we would receive a phone call "she is crying and says she wants to go home now". Her brothers however, had no problem at all! But GP live just a few minutes away.

BreatheAndFocus · 27/02/2020 10:42

Is there a particular reason you’re asking? Is someone disagreeing?

I think it depends on the child. If you all visit every couple of months anyway, then I’d stick with that personally if it was my child.

Original poster
ItsMischerWavy · 27/02/2020 10:58

No nobody's disagreeing - her dad etc think it's a good idea.

I just wanted to check what the consensus was to make sure I wasn't being a bit too haphazard. I've always been relaxed with her spending time with others since she was tiny as I knew I'd be back to work when she was v young.... Just wanted to check I wasn't being too relaxed!

OP posts:
Original poster
ItsMischerWavy · 27/02/2020 11:00

Also grandparents (young grandparents btw) suggested they see how it goes, if she's not happy they'll bring her home after the night. I'm not worried about the travelling for anyone as all are v v v used to it and do it often.

OP posts:
NoveltyFunsy · 27/02/2020 11:04

BiscuitBarrels
You know your child and you know your dad and you know your family - why are you asking a load of strangers who don’t know any of these people to make a standard parenting decision for you?

This ^^

AriadnesFilament · 27/02/2020 11:17

Right. So everyone - including you - is in agreement that it’s fine, and there’s even a contingency plan in place in case she doesn’t settle or enjoy it, which, again, everyone is very happy with.

So you’re asking for input because.......?

I’m honestly baffled!

WinterCat · 27/02/2020 11:20

What will you do it she doesn’t settle? I only ask because DD1 absolutely adores her grandparents and has spent every day for several weeks in a row with them at times but when she was supposed to stay over (she was around three) she was so upset they had to bring her home again at midnight. Luckily I don’t live far from my parents but otherwise it could have been really upsetting for all of us.

flower1994 · 27/02/2020 11:37

calm down biscuit, its nice to get other opinions sometimes and what they do/dont feel comfortable doing. I often come on here when I start to doubt myself just to get a bit of reassurance

RhymingRabbit3 · 27/02/2020 11:39

My daughter is nearly 3 and I would have no issue with her staying for a long weekend with loving grandparents

kiki22 · 27/02/2020 12:05

Not being U at all