Postnatal Ward Hell

[MoneyM]

AIBU in suggesting that postnatal wards are literally hell on earth? Baby born today - stuck in a room with snorers, loud texters, newborn babies being left to cry it out...not to mention the incessant succession of beeps and buzzers. And the intense heat!!

Hospitals are horrible. Ask if your baby is ok to go home. It is much easier to look after your baby at home.

I nearly died with both babies so couldn't just go home asap. The staff when I had my now 5yo were just horrible. Really nasty to all the patients. It was a really dark time. I remember apologising to newborn ds as I was crying all the time.

With my now 5 month old I had a pph and they couldn't get blood in quick enough, vaginal birth but had surgery after as the placents was stuck and they ended up having to rip it away. So I was very weak. The staff were great though. It was visitors (well, male partners) which were trouble! I had food and drink stolen whilst I was in the bathroom (I took it with me as I didn't get food or water the first time round so had to get my visitors to bring some to me). The visiting men opened my curtains too (dp had words as I was changing), one was obviously drunk, shouting and swearing which his partner cackled away at. There was just nothing the staff could do, I really feel for them.

Congratulations OP. Good luck with your new family!

YADNBU - worst experience of my life, culminating in a massive panic attack on night 5, and the start of what was, looking back, almost certainly PND. It took me months to even talk about it without sobbing. I had a blissful home birth with DC2 as I feared for my mental state if the same happened again. Congratulations, hope you're out now!

Yep. I had a csection And was in for 5 days. Worst part was being a single mum surrounded by all happy couples feeling so alone and like shit.

I was on a post natal ward in a side room for 2 weeks bedrest prior to a planned CS. Got told that i would be moved to a ward after CS - I begged not to be. It was so the midwives 'could keep an eye on me'. Woke up from CS in a ward - the staff had moved all my things from the private room to the ward (and left some of my items in the private room which then had someone else in it). Got told there were some 'lovely ladies' on the ward (new mums).

The ward was hell on earth. These wards do not follow the laws of night and day. People with 10 visitors round the bed. Patients on phones having LOUD convos. I couldn't move. Got wheeled to the loo by an auxiliary who then left the toilet door open while I had to wee into a measuring jug. She then held it up to the light 'oh there's blood in there!" All the while male visitors were walking past.

I tried to get up to reach DD and nearly passed out with the pain, had to hold onto the bed before I collapsed. The pain was awful, I said swear words I didn't know I knew! No-one came. The 'lovely ladies' just glared at me.

Midwife came to my bed while my dad was visiting and asked 'what state my sanitary towel was in'. I was in tears through a combination of: pain, embarrassment, throwing up anything I tried to eat, hormones, noise, you name it. Luckily my sister came to visit and still had her paramedic uniform on and demanded I got moved to a side room. I got moved. A private room is bliss and worth every penny. I stayed there 5 nights.

Luckily this was my third DC so I knew what I was doing with regards to baby care. If I'd not known what needed doing, then I would have been scared to death, no practical help whatsoever or how to hold baby after a CS (previous 2 had been VB).

My grown up Dd plans to have a baby next year. I hope she doesn't have the same hospital experiences as me.

There wouldn't be wards at all if men had babies, all en-suite rooms, nice beds, buzzers answered, pain meds on tap, plenty of staff, no having to walk round and queue up to get food and water, share bathrooms, etc.

I just gave birth in a US hospital. It was like this, plus baby can go to the nursery so you can sleep and they bring her back to feed if you want. Still don't know the full $$s though! $1k so far, they tend to bill separately for different bits of the service.

Yep and waiting for discharge I remember doing everything I could to make sure I could get home. Post c-section I could barely move and remember bursting into tears as couldn't get to my crying baby and they were so slow at answering buzzers.

I had a private room with dd2 and it was lovely. I stayed until they kicked me out!

It all sounds dreadful. I had mine many years ago and went home the next day so no problems but everything seems to have gone downhill since then from what I've read.

None of it surprises me unfortunately; I was in hospital last year for eight days (nothing to do with babies) and my experience was so traumatic I don't think I'll ever get over it. I'd rather die than go back in. Therefore it is obvious to me that maternity units are no better - worse in fact!

If you don't have a single room it must be awful putting up with other people's noisy partners and the lack of privacy. I wonder whose idea it was to start doing that.

Everyone should complain about it, a new mum needs a degree of peace and privacy so that she feels relaxed.

If we all wrote to the government minister in charge of all this, perhaps things would change. Lobbying MPs is a good idea too.

If everything is straightforward I'd say have your baby at home but of course not everyone can do that. It must be hell for a woman who has had a C-section to be in hospital for several days afterwards.

Whatsername177 Fri 28-Feb-20 18:29:26
I had a private room with dd2 and it was lovely. I stayed until they kicked me out!
...........
That is definitely the thing to do if you can afford it.

Having a baby should be a happy time and for so many it is quite the opposite.

I'm surprised more women don't die from this horrible treatment.

Freda - that's such a wonderful memory. Your MIL is awesome.

OP yes the wards are not conducive to recovery and bonding with your baby. Compared to a lot of stories I heard on here I had a pretty good experience but it was still ridiculously hot (in December!), loud and busy! I was so pleased to go home after 3 nights.

If every woman subjected to this telephoned the ceo and asked him or her to come to the ward and deal with the chaos, things would improve.

Women need to stop being grateful for crap care.

Been twice to the midwife unit. Amazing experience, couldn’t fault it. First baby I stayed two nights in private room, they helped me

Why do women in the UK accept this misogyny?

I had a poorly managed birth, got dumped in a crowded bay after my partner was sent home an hour after the birth. I literally felt like a number and a nuisance.

Meanwhile my Dutch friends all got to give birth either at home where they got regular checkups (I was at home til 7cm and wasn't allowed to go to hospital until I started bleeding!), or they were in lovely ensuite birthing suites with all the amenities and their partners could stay 24/7.

After being discharged they would have their own nurse to take care of mother and baby for an entire week.

In the UK it feels so incredibly uncaring.

.... with breastfeeding. Took the baby away so I could have a shower. That and hypno birthing. I’m no a hippy, just terrified of needles and this worked for me and no nasty wards.

I had an amazing birthing suite with pool and everything. I agree the Dutch system is good with someone to come and help you afterwards though. Luckily for me my mum came up, but guess not everyone has that luxury. 😢

I hated my experience - and I got readmitted when my baby was a week old for 4 days!! 1st time - just after delivery we were woken every 2 hours for blood sugar testing on the baby - I was made to top her up with formula because I had to get her blood sugars stable. I had limited help to breastfeed. I woke up to find a girl I'd gone to school with (she was a HCP) massaging my boobs to get the colostrum for the baby.
When we were readmitted, I was so exhausted from having so many people in my house visiting and the baby had jaundice that all visitors were banned, the only person allowed was my other half. I was given double rations but still no support with breastfeeding, given a pump to express so we could monitor how much baby was having to get rid of the jaundice.

My breastfeeding journey was stopped before it really had chance to begin.

Yep, it’s grim. One of the many reasons I had my second baby at home

I LOVED being on the postnatal ward... said nobody ever

Actually we did say that 40 odd years ago. It was quite common to hear someone say they didn’t want to go home. Those were the days when you were well looked after and fathers were despatched when visiting time ended at 8pm. Postnatal care has really gone backwards.

Women need to stop being grateful for crap care.

I agree, but part of the problem is the vulnerable state that women are in when they go to the postnatal ward. Even if you've had an uncomplicated delivery and everything has gone well, you're still going to be exhausted, in pain, bleeding and a hormonal basket of emotions. Not really in a position to have the gumption to call the CEO.

With my last baby I didn’t sleep the three nights I was in.
Congratulations. you will be home soon.

With my first I said I was going to leave and the midwife said social services would be phoned and my baby would be considered at risk by them!

All hospital wards are the same. They’re all hellish! Sadly I’m the snorer.... so they usually stick me in a side room or even a ward bay all on my own.

Got out as fast as I could with my first. Insisted on a private room with second as they wouldn’t discharge me from labour ward despite this being on my notes, a 45 minute drug free labour, no tears and she was breastfeeding.

So I had my third at home - it was the only way to ensure I would be at home