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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to ask for your help to completely turnaround my health and body.

44 replies

Merryoldgoat · 26/02/2020 23:41

I’m morbidly obese. It’s shit. And now at the age of 41 after 2 children my bad choices have caught up with me. I have hypertension and high cholesterol, a weak bladder (thanks to enormous babies), a dodgy knee and a back that can just go with no reason.

I need to sort this for my future and I don’t want to be unwell and infirm in my old age if I get there.

Diet - I have this in hand and have lost nearly a stone already.

Exercise - here is where I need help. I just don’t know what I’m doing.

My aims are:

Be fitter generally
Strengthen my core and therefore my lower back
Strengthen my pelvic floor

But I don’t have much time and need to start slowly so I don’t injure myself.

All advice welcome.

Background:

I work 4 days, have 7yo and 2yo both with additional needs so it can be tricky to get regular time alone and I definitely can’t get to a gym. I have SOME spare money but don’t want to buy a load of nonsense.

Would a PT help to get me started?

God I don’t know. I feel so shit.

OP posts:
FlamingFreezing · 27/02/2020 10:03

Are you sure you can’t join a gym? I only say that as previously being in a similar situation as yourself with high blood pressure, disc degeneration in my back and a dodgy pelvic floor after 5 babies, I found ‘low’ impact exercise like using a cross trainer or a stationary bike gave me good results without pain and injuries afterwards. Even walking, enough distance to have any affect anyway, if you are obese with back issues and a weak pelvic floor, may be difficult. Something like a cross trainer where your feet are not hitting the ground, as in walking, will be easier on joints and still strengthen legs, and give you a cardio workout as well. That was my experience anyway. I tried walking but my pelvic floor got worse and I had issues with my ankles/shins due to being so overweight. I was also in agony with my back so couldn’t walk far anyway.

All that changed within a month of joining a gym and using the cross trainer/ bike and starting weightlifting. I can now walk 6 miles easily and have lost over 4 stone so I’m now ‘over weight’ rather than obese. I came off blood pressure meds within 6 months off starting going to a gym regularly with my GP’s agreement. I hated the side effects so that was a good motivator. Blood pressure is now consistently optimal. GP says it’s something he rarely sees in patients.

Even going 3/4 times a week for an hour will help. I would never have been able to start weight lifting properly (which has massively changed my shape and strength) if I hadn’t joined a gym as I wouldn’t have access to all the different equipment. You can find cheap memberships at high street gyms like FitForLess or PureGym You are worth it!

dancingbadger · 27/02/2020 10:12

Well done on your weight loss and getting started. I would say that a PT might be a really good option (I work in this industry so do know a bit about it!) if you can find one that can come to your house at a time convenient to you and just start with 6 sessions, it would really help to get you started. A good PT will be able to tailor your exercises according to your specific requirements/ injuries etc so that you can really benefit from the exercises without risk of exasperating any existing injuries. Just go easy on any HIIT and online stuff if you have hypertension, any exercise professional would ask you to confirm with a gp before starting on a programme but they will check your blood pressure and level of fitness etc too.

messolini9 · 27/02/2020 10:17

Congratulations on taking your life back under control OP & well done on the weight loss you have achieved already.

Pilates is your friend here - your back, core, general strength, flexibility, mental health ... the benefits are endless.

Make time to attend a few classes so that you at least 'get' the basic concepts. It can take a few tries to get your head around what the correct movement is & get that correct spine alignment into your muscle memory. It helps if you have ridden horses - if not, think of the movement & feeling through your core when you make a swing go ...

The joy of it is that you can start just as gentle as you like, & work your way up. It is completely 'do-able' at home once you have some routines together, & of course you can also access videos & order books. When you have enough knowledge to work out at home, you can fit in 10 inutes for a quick energy & mood boost, & longer when you can make time for it.

Best of luck & good for you OP :)

messolini9 · 27/02/2020 10:21

Would a PT help to get me started?

Oh, this just jumped out at me belatedly - YES!
If you can budget for a few sessions with a PT you feel you can trust & connect to, the motivational boost alone will be worth it.
A good one will be able to advise you on every aspect you have mentioned.
If they also know pilates, you could have the luxury of private sessions ... nobody else to worry about, & a set of exercises tailored precisely to you - perfect!

SinkGirl · 27/02/2020 10:26

What about couch to 5k? You can then go at your own pace. I’m planning to start it once the weather is better. I too have two kids with additional needs and I haven’t been taking care of myself at all. Have been so unwell and recent blood tests showed awful deficiencies in folate and vitamin D so I’m trying to get on top of that which I’m hoping will give me some energy back.

Have also started playing the piano again, just to have 20 mins a day that’s something just for me. It does really help actually.

SciFiScream · 27/02/2020 10:27

Don't squeeze to stop a pee. Squeeze to stop a fart! Slightly different muscles. Check out Gusset Gripper. She's on most of the social media platforms (and here I think too!)
You could also go to your GP about that and insist on medical help (not meds or operations - the other stuff)

Amazing on the weight loss. That's so impressive and quite inspiring.

Remember as you lose weight your knee pain will lessen. Cycling is good for the knees. No impact and it builds them up in the right way. (Avoid squats and lunges as a PP has said). Are there any spin classes you could go to? Start slowly and build up.

MySerenity · 27/02/2020 10:28

Recommend the MUTU system- online course with excellent videos and one to one support. It's postnatal (but aimed at anyone who had babies, even many years ago!) Low impact, focuses initially on core strength, then adds in low impact HIIT. It's really helped me and the reviews speak for themselves. You sign up once for lifetime access.

NotYourHun · 27/02/2020 10:30

Sounds like you’re doing fantastically already OP! I would definitely avoid running for the time being - extra weight and a dodgy knee is a recipe for a disaster. You might find the knee gets better after some time though. Walking is fab, do as much as you possibly can!

Mayhemmumma · 27/02/2020 10:36

Look to see if theres a Bounce class near you. I hated exercise until I found this class - 1 hours dancey work out on mini trampolines, lights low and fun music. It's really easy on joints and I've kept going regularly for two years now. Life changing.

kirsty75005 · 27/02/2020 10:41

Any possibility of replacing some car journeys with cycling ? It's not always possible but it can be a good way to get exercise into your daily life without having to find time for it, and it's low impact.

SparklingLime · 27/02/2020 10:46

Some GP practices have a physio do a clinic regularly. At ours you can self-refer and I got an appointment really quickly. You could ask for starter exercises that take into account your knee and back. That would be a really safe way to start. And free.

tiutinkerbell · 27/02/2020 12:03

Walk everywhere - it's amazing the difference steps and general movement throughout the day makes. Park further away, take the stairs or just move a round a bit when on the phone.

Check out James Smith Academy as well for exercise & nutrition guidance. I really enjoyed his book and his straight talking way of educating people is refreshing.

Dozer · 27/02/2020 12:06

Good for you for taking action and the weight loss.

If the key challenge is time, would focus on identifying time slots when you can exercise (and have energy to do so, eg some of us are morning/evening people), and flexible things like walking or online classes. Perhaps longer sessions if there are times your DP can do the parenting, eg weekends.

I too have pelvic/core issues and there are loads of good, safe exercises on You Tube.

LorenzoStDubois · 27/02/2020 12:27

Keep going.
You're doing brilliantly.
Walking, cycling, swimming would all be good for you, I think.

buckeejit · 27/02/2020 12:37

Watching with interest. You're my idol OP! I'm in the same boat & really need to lose 4 stone+ but can't get started. House upside down due to work getting done & hard to be healthy & am drinking too much wine.

A stone must be great motivation. I've successfully lost weight with slimming world a. Couple of times in the past but can't face going back to it, though think I might have to as need someone to report to.

Any of your colleagues trying to be healthier? I found this a a great boost but am not in an office now so harder. I bought some free weights to lift even 10 times during adverts in evening. Every little helps

niceclock · 27/02/2020 13:37

well done getting the diet sorted: this is the most important part when you'r trying to lose weight/get in shape. Aiming to lose 1-2lbs a week is sensible, and suggests that you're not going to crash diet or burn out, so well done for that, too. Wise bird!

HIIT, in my opinion, is crap UNLESS you're totally healthy and in your 20's. With a bum knee and a bad back, I'd say NO!!!!

Zumba is great fun, and is a proper work out, but one zumba class a week won't do you any real good, in terms of fitness.

If you enjoy it: great, add it to your schedule, but I wouldn't rely on it.

Same with the gym: unless you've got lots of free time and money and can go to the gym every single day, and work out for around an hour each time, and factor in travel, and factor in getting changed and showered before and after, then you won't see any real body changes. Most people over-estimate the work they do in the gym, they don't have the correct form to do the exercises, and there's lots of idiots, usually men, gegging in to tell you what to do and most of them are clueless...

Pilates and yoga: the same. Pretty useless, fitness-wise. Great as 'add-ons', but yoga won't help you lose weight, and neither will pilates. These classes are great for stretching, and toning, but... a bit too 'posho' and 'exclusive' for my liking!

Instead of HIIT (high impact and intensity), opt for LISS (low impact steady state). The best LISS walkout is ... walking. It's free, and easy, and all you need are a pair of trainers and a cheap waterproof coat. I'd recommend when starting out you do 30 minutes a day, every day, but (maybe) have Sundays off.

You need to walk at a fast enough pace so that if you was holding a conversation, you'd be breathless.

Once you've established that routine, say, after 30 days, then you can make it harder by adding wrist weights or carrying hand weights -- 2/3lbs is enough. Amazon, ebay, argos: they'll cost you around £5-10.

(I carry hand weights, 3lb each, and they double up as self defence batons!) Swing your arms when you're walking, imagine you're skiing and the hand weights are ski poles: that range of motion. This helps to tone up your arms and upper body, too.

You can also later, add ankle weights: again, 2/3lb one are best when starting out. Roughly the same price, too. This will strengthen and tone your legs and shouldn't damage your knee, either.

You can also, later, fill a rucksack with water bottles/tin cans/free weight plates) to increase your load: This will help to strengthen your core and your back, too.

All of this added weight makes your body work harder. Don't do it all at once though, or you'll hate it!

other tips?

Don't use the same route, each time: aim to walk in a different route most days. Don't listen to music, unless you're listening to EDM at around 220 BPM, as you'll automatically start walking to the beat, and you won't be getting the benefits of the pace.

don't be tempted to run, or jog: it's crap for your knees and back, and totally not necessary.

re: strengthening your pelvic floor: there's a yoga move called 'the modified bridge'. You lie on your back, with your knees up and feet on the floor, and you lift your hips off the floor while keeping shoulders and feet on the floor.

Do this move while clenching your inner vag. If you're not sure how to 'internally clench', then you have to have a feel and see if you're using the right muscles. Once you know which bits to be squeezing, imagine drawing your bits in, but incrementally, 1,2,3,4,5, with 5 being the tightest squeeze. Then, hold that squeeze for five seconds, and try to let go of that squeeze incrementally, too. Repeat this five times. Do this daily. If you can't manage the bridge, just do the squeezes. This is the easiest way to tone those internal muscles.

go girl, you got this! x

thetoddleratemyhomework · 27/02/2020 13:45

If your aim is to strengthen core and pelvic floor I would really recommend RYC - really great programme and a very supportive group on Facebook etc.

upvcsolventcleaner · 27/02/2020 13:49

Well done on losing the stone!

Pelvic floor exercises can be done at anytime. You can buy things to help you do them properly. Have a look at Amazon.

Try Chris Powell you tube work outs. He starts off very slow and builds up through levels.

Buy a pedometer and walk, walk, walk.

Merryoldgoat · 27/02/2020 18:32

Wow! Just back from work and overwhelmed with the responses - thank you.

I have arranged to do a walk on my working days at lunchtime with a colleague who is a similar fitness level as me so hopefully we’ll keep each other motivated.

Trainers, joggers and t-shirts have arrived (I own literally NOTHING suitable to work out in which my boss thinks is hilarious).

I definitely can’t join a gym. I’d never see the kids (actually that might be an upside...) or my husband.

Thank you for the core and pelvic floor recommendations - I’ll get cracking on those and check out FB too.

Not too keen on shoving those trainer things up my vag so might try without those and see what improvements I get.

And thank you for the YouTube recommendations. I have a lovely big lounge and hard floor and smart TV so can put workouts on the TV.

I think that the best time for me to work out is early morning - we start our day as a family around 7.00 so if I could start at 6.30 that would be a good start.

Fingers crossed I can make some headway.

I genuinely appreciate all of your advice - it’s all well and good looking online but it’s hard to know what works.

It’s my birthday coming up so my aim is to lose my first back fat roll (1 of 3) - HA!

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