To think that quitting isn’t always the worst idea?

[Jamjarcandlestick]

I’ve never quit anything in my life but the reason I’m not quitting is because I don’t want to seem like a quitter.

I’m a full-time career and housebound 95% of the time. I decided to do a masters more as hobby/keep my brain active/a sense of doing something for ‘me’.

However it’s boring, monotonous, I’m very behind and a daily struggle. I just don’t have enough hours in the day, and the limited time I do off I don’t want to spend doing coursework.

Even when I am 100% invested into doing coursework/lectures I still don’t have enough hours of the day. The person I care for gets the bare bones of care, I get zero me time/no seeing friends, the household chores build up and I’m still not doing well.

I want to quit, I’ve told my partner and he says that I need to learn some resilience and that he told me that I’d struggle to do it when I started.

As I said I’ve never quit anything in my life. I’ve always been a hard worker and I like to think being a full time carer shows some resilience.

Are you doing a full-time or part-time course? Maybe you would spread it over two years to help ease the workload?

You’ve already proved your resilience. If you’re doing the masters for yourself, hating it and it’s adding stress and struggle to your day then absolutely quit. But try to find something else to add quality and interest to your life.
Your partner sounds very judgemental.

If something is costing you money, making you feel rubbish, and you’re not doing it because it’s also inherently rewarding/you can see a long-term benefit you are allowed to walk away - knowing your limits, setting boundaries on how shit you’re prepared to feel, and being honest with yourself about your feelings are all marks of self respect.

It sounds like you didn't think it through before you started, OP. It's a big commitment, especially if you do this alongside other responsibilities.

How long have you been on the course? The beginnings are usually tough on everyone and not necessarily overly exciting. It's your attitude and willingness to get stuck in, alongside the subject matter itself that might make it more exciting later on.

There's no point in continuing if there's no benefit of it. There's no point in quitting too early either without giving it a proper go.

Oh fuck it, life's too short to continue doing something you resent spending time on!

Is it your partner who you are caring for? There is no shame in quitting if it's not working for you.

Giving yourself permission to cut your losses is life changing. Go for it.

I would have no problem quitting that, I would replace it with something that would bring me excitement and joy. There’s a thousand other things you can do for you. It’s not quitting, it’s changing tack.
Caring is hard op, don’t make your the rest of your life hard too.
Make the change!

What exactly is wrong with being a quitter though? You say it so dismissively.

If something isn't working for you, surely it's more idiotic to force yourself to carry on?

Life's too short to drag yourself along on something unnecessarily difficult. Find something else that's offers the same challenge but you actually have time for/enjoy.

Quitting something you hate is fantastic. The relief when I finally let myself stop studying was awesome. I still feel guilty sometimes when I spend the evening watching tv or having a bath or folding laundry or taking the bins out. That's where being an eternal student had me, feeling like if I was looking after myself and my home (or god forbid resting!) I should be studying instead. I'm a procrastinator and a perfectionist, and independent study crippled my mental health. It's weird now when my kids are in bed and the house isn't a mess and I've had a bath and I can actually go to bed knowing I don't have some impending deadline. I catch myself sometimes thinking "maybe I could do this course" fuck that. Fuck it. Some people want to be the eternal student. But I'm done with tying myself up in knots over referencing and reading things I have no interest in. I have a difficult complicated life and lots of responsibilities during the day. In the evening I need to shut off. Maybe in a few years I'll get the urge again, but right now quitting my studies was the best thing I could do. It's like I was letting this big heavy weight drag me down for so long.

AnotherMurkyDay

I feel I could have wrote that myself. The rare opportunity I get any downtime I like to spend it catching up on household tasks (which seem never ending) or actually getting to steal the odd 30minute bath.

How do people approach others to tell them they’ve left?

Being a carer does not show “some resilience”. It shows a huge amount of resilience. You have already proved your resilience.

Quitting something that isn’t working is often the right decision .

To other people, can you say something like “it isn’t the right time at the moment”? Of course you don’t owe them any other explanation other than that you are not doing the course at the moment.