My 15 year old gets good grades when she bothers to do the work and teachers and other parents genuinely seem to like her and she has always made friends easily. BUT
She lies and steals
She treats my like a skivvy
She takes money from my purse. Anything from my room that she wants she helps herself to then lies. At one point I marked the inside lid of my body lotion. Then when she said her usual 'grandma bought it for me' I showed her the mark and she just shrugged.
Once she and her friends called me from Next saying security needs me to collect her because one of them was caught shoplifting. Obviously she swears blind she had no idea Chloe was doing that, I don't talk to her anymore now! No way of knowing what's true.
I know some of her friends and their parents and they seem nice and normal people. She gets pocket money and we buy her things. She just seems to have a mindset that "if I want it I'll have it" and the shop security incident doesn't seem to have had an impact.
She does no housework. Her room is a biohazard. She is meant to empty the dishwasher. She will do it about twice a week after being asked 50 times. She leaves such a mess everywhere it's so so depressing. 'Oh, I'm making a beauty face mask' = oats and banana peels on the kitchen counter, oats everywhere in the bathroom. She can leave it for weeks. I end up just cleaning because I can't live like that.
Everything she eats, crisp packets on the living room floor, mugs everywhere.
The one thing she does is her own laundry, but that ends up spread on her floor, clean and dirty. Running the machine for one top etc.
She had always been a "wilful" child. Punishments like taking her phone and computer don't work because she legitimately needs them for school. She is on a sports team she enjoys but saying things like 'you can't go to the match' as punishment would let down the whole team.
AIBU to think it's a lost cause?