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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tinder

7 replies

MumToBoysxxx · 26/02/2020 19:41

Basically I joined it. Started speaking to a guy he lived in the same town. Cut a long story short we had mutual friends and some people who I knew he went to school with. I clarified with them that they did and they said they knew him. So after a while we added each other on Facebook and chatted on there. We had great conversations as they were lengthy paragraphs maybe 3-4 a day, which is nice compared to the short few word messages. Said on his Tinder he was looking for someone. No sex chat just normal conversation. I then see on his Facebook he must of become single very recently like only a few weeks, massive red flag in my eyes as it was a few years he was with her. But I thought at least he's not cheating. He was saying about how we can do this that and the other in the future like go to this place and that place, and saying about things we could do together if we met. Not dirty things like normal things. Today I asked how long he had been single for and he said it and it was as I guessed then he said he's not looking for anything? Please tell me not all men are like this? I don't really know what else to put other than I'm pissed off. Why waste my time! I came out of a 4 year relationship a year ago where he cheated the whole time and it really pushed my hopes down and I just feel like I'm gonna be on my own forever. I'm late 20's.

OP posts:
MumToBoysxxx · 26/02/2020 19:41

I don't know what I'm after on this thread other than maybe a hand hold 😔

OP posts:
inmyshoos · 26/02/2020 19:43

If its over its over. He's been honest hasn't he?
You're in your 20s....chill out....even late 20s... You've plenty time.

katmarie · 26/02/2020 19:45

I met my now dh on tinder, so there are some good ones. I had to weed out a lot of bad ones to find him though. My mum told me I was being too picky, but I maintained that my standards were high for a reason, and it paid off when I met dh. Dont let one bad one put you off.

PumpkinP · 26/02/2020 19:48

Does it’s matter? Sounds like he’s just after something casual like most men on tinder

faracrossthepond · 26/02/2020 19:51

At least he was honest, but I am sorry for your shitty experience.

I think you will struggle to find 'the one' on tinder. Most men on there are only after a quick shag.

I hope you meet someone soon @MumToBoysxxx who deserves you. Flowers

inmyshoos · 26/02/2020 20:02

Not everyone on tinder is just looking for sex. Keep looking. Keep your bar high Flowers

Popc0rn · 26/02/2020 20:13

I was on tinder a few years ago, it's how I met my boyfriend.

"We had great conversations as they were lengthy paragraphs maybe 3-4 a day, which is nice compared to the short few word messages."

...in the nicest possible way, don't do paragraph messages like this, anyone can make themselves sound great through messaging, and you can end up getting emotionally attached and picturing a future before you've even met them in person (which is what sounds like happened here for you). Stick to shortish messages for a couple of weeks max before actually meeting up for a date, I must have gone on at least 20 rubbish first dates til I met my boyfriend.

Late 20s is so young, keep your chin up Smile

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