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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can someone help me calm the fuck down?

28 replies

SingleSidedShoulderShrug · 26/02/2020 18:20

I've been living with my parents for the last 3 weeks about 4 hours away from home, working on my mental health and H and I have had some marital issues. However I'm currently about to see him for the first time in nearly a month and I'm absolutely shitting it. What is wrong with me? Why am I so nervous? I feel like a silly little school girl, all nervous and butterflies. I keep clock watching, I'm going to cock this up if I don't stop being a dick!

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 26/02/2020 18:24

...and breathe....

You will be fine.

No wonder you are nervous. That's totally natural. Bet he is too.

Do a single sided shoulder shrug and go do this.

Be honest and be true to yourself. That's all.

Bigblue20 · 26/02/2020 18:24

Hey - no advice but didn't want you sitting on your own!

Have you been speaking/texting one another?

Perhaps its good nerves?

SingleSidedShoulderShrug · 26/02/2020 18:27

I don't know whether to meet him at the pub or home. It feels weird being back here.

OP posts:
Bigblue20 · 26/02/2020 18:50

Pub? A busy one that will let you get a bit lost in noise at first?

Lordfrontpaw · 26/02/2020 18:52

Maybe a cafe - no temptation to down a double before he arrives!

HeartyGreenSalad · 26/02/2020 18:53

You are not being a dick. Anyone would be nervous. Take baby steps and be kind to yourself

Lordfrontpaw · 26/02/2020 19:00

I’d be a bit giddy if I was in the same situation to be honest. Try to relax, sit comfortably and don’t clench your hands. Smile!

kitk · 26/02/2020 19:04

Not your safe space but not a pub either- somewhere where you can't get anxiously tipsy but still neutral ground

Bigblue20 · 26/02/2020 19:05

'I'm going to cock this up if I don't stop being a dick!'

I know you meant this jokingly but if part of you is thinking this, you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself (internal thoughts and all that)

And he will be just as nervous, I bet

B0bbin · 26/02/2020 19:07

Hope it goes well. It's normal to feel how you feel x

user1473878824 · 26/02/2020 19:14

Being nervous isn’t being a dick! If you weren’t nervous that would be a bit of a sign.

Queenofheartsnomore · 26/02/2020 19:21

I hope it goes how you want. I'm sure he's feeling the same. Good luck!

Bookoffacts · 26/02/2020 19:29

I'd go from meeting in a pub.

Blahdeeeblah · 26/02/2020 19:33

Bless you, you sound like you've had some well needed space and a bit anxious about the events to come. Relax, be you. You know him well and he knows you well, have a cuppa or go for a walk before you meet. You'll be fine.

Good luck xx

cakeandchampagne · 26/02/2020 19:33

Best wishes!
I hope he makes a huge effort, and has been working on his own issues.

Candyfloss99 · 26/02/2020 19:34

It's good you're nervous. It means you still care.

NeverGuessWho · 26/02/2020 19:42

Hoping you have a lovely time, OP.

Gizmo79 · 26/02/2020 20:36

Good luck and hope it works out for you both.x

namechange1041 · 26/02/2020 20:58

Ah bless you, I hope everything goes well for you both OP.

P.s. I read your username and I had to do it Grin

JollyGiraffe12 · 26/02/2020 21:09

Grab a glass of wine and arrive in plenty of time

FortunesFave · 26/02/2020 21:18

My friend went through this...she left for three weeks because of issues and she said it felt weird to be back....but it's your home...and that will wear off.x

londonrach · 26/02/2020 21:37

Not your home, thats your safe place. Cafe, pub something like that and good luck. He be feeling the same x

Nsky · 26/02/2020 22:13

Hopefully you’ve both made progress and can enjoy seeing him again

SunshineCake · 26/02/2020 22:16

It reads like people think you are excitedly going on a date. Were the marital difficulties because he was the dick?

ArabSprings · 26/02/2020 22:40

Good luck with it OP, normal to feel nervous in these sorts of situations. I hope it goes well for you x

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