Boy keeps getting away with bad behaviour in school

[Snugglemonster84]

Hi there. There is a boy in my sons class age 8 /9 (year 4). He's a nice little boy most of the time but if something doesnt go his way he will start kicking and hitting people (there is no sen, I am friends with his family).
My son has come home multiple times in the past few years with bumps and bruises from this boy, and cuts from being pushed over. (he's not targeted as in bullying, it's just wrong place wrong time)
Picked my son up yesterday and this boy has punched him on the nose (nose bright red) because they lost a football game. The lunchtime supervisor removed the child from the game. The child then ran back and took another swipe at my son, knocking his glasses off.

The teacher's don't really say much to us and don't seem to think it's a big deal. But last night my husband was furious and said enough is enough now and he wants something doing.
What can be done in these instances? What can I ask the school to do? Alls that's happened before is a stern telling off from the principal

Don’t focus on the consequences for the boy. Focus on how they are going to keep your son safe. That doesn’t seem to be happening at the moment.

I would complain to the school. They are failing all the children in my opinion.

YANBU to be annoyed about it and I would want the school to at least act like they're taking it more seriously than they are. He is still quite young so I wouldn't say expelling him or anything but if he carries on getting away with it and it being treated like it isn't a big deal it will get worse I think.

The incidents always happen at break time and lunch time.
I will try to come at it from that angle when I speak to them, how will they keep my son safe.

Should i just continue to speak to the teacher or should I go to the head?
The head always seems reluctant to speak to parents or wants to just speak on the phone

Are the teachers logging everything in an accident & incident book?

The teacher's don't really say much to us and don't seem to think it's a big deal.

Surely they should be giving you a written incident report over something like a punch to the face? And something to the boy's family too.

Do the boys get on the rest of the time? Has your son ever hit the other boy? How often is the boy having outbursts?

Yes, I think it would be reasonable to ask for a meeting with the school and find out what their processes/penalties are for this sort of behaviour and what options are available in future if their current methods aren't working.

Oh op. I’ve been there. Hug

I had a ‘friend’ whose child was a wild one. I mean he’d electrocute himself. (I know!) he threw chairs at the other kids. One knocking her out and leaving a gash just above her temple

This boy was somehow rewarded. He got constant one to one (though not enough in my eyes. As he was still kicking kids out! The teachers said he got aaay from them for 30 seconds). He got a whole wall filled with his stuff. My child was only in year R. So what eventually happened was that the kids thought. Well if he can be nasty and mean and not listen. And get all this stuff. So can we. It bit them big time

I eventually had to leave the school. I didn’t feel my child was safe

Now. Here’s what I lewrnt. Always write a letter to the school. Don’t go on and chat. Always write. Why? Because it has to be documented. Ofsted HAVE to see all corespondent W to and from the school to parents. The achool also have to display to ofsted how they’ve dealt with the complaint. So please write it. Even if you do go in and chat. Always say. I’m backing this up with a letter. Just to state what was discussed.

The teacher just told me, no log of it I don't think so I will definitely speak to them about that.
Its pretty regular, every week or so for my son but its prob every day to other kids. He also sldoes things like grab the ball and throw it on the roof or over the fence.

Say to the head teacher. On the phone

I will be writing what we’ve said in an official letter to your achool. I expect a written reply to my letter

It works. Trust me.

If this has been going on for years then I would speak to the head. Print off the Safegaurding Policy and Anti-bullying Policy (They will be on the school website) and high light anything in the policies which contradicts what the school is actually doing. Take it with you and ask the head to explain it.

Agree with pp who said focus on how they are going to keep your child safe rather than punishing the other child.

I've had a similar situation with my son, although the child he has had difficulty with does have SEN which has further complicated things. It is very frustrating trying to communicate with the school because of confidentiality, they are really limited in how much they can discuss. Ultimately, I arranged a meeting and I also emailed the Director of Education for the LA and our local councillors. I demanded to know:
what assurances could the school give me that my children was safe whilst in school? All children have a fundamental right* to be safe and protected in school. If the school is failing on this level, it is a serious issue.
*what risk assessments have been done in regards to MY child, to ensure his safety? I had asked about the risk assessments for the other child but they could not discuss, so I asked that they prepare a RA for my child, as he was clearly in danger
Are the school utilising ALL resources available to them? If not, why not? Schools do have access to a myriad of resources they can request from LA to deal with troublesome children.this can be as wide as additional teaching staff, additional supervision at break times, nurture rooms for the troublesome child, safe places for children to go if they are worried about this boy etc. If they haven't requested additional resources, it is a failing on their part as children are being injured.
I requested that I be contacted immediately if my child was injured. I was sick of being told at 3pm when my child had been injured at 11am. I instructed them that I wanted to be notified immediately as, dependent on the injury, I would be considering phoning the police for assault, on each occasion based on the events at the time. You do have the right to report this as a physical assault, just because it happens at school does not mean it is anything less. I told them I would be requesting the police attend the school. Were they ready to be witnesses in a criminal report, were they going to have the answers that would be asked of them when it got to this stage? It sounds dramatic, but when your child is being assaulted on a regular basis, its warranted!

Once I contacted the Director of Education and Local Councillors got involved, it really lit a fire under the school and they gave me much more positive answers. They knew I wasn't going away or "waiting to see" what evolved; I wanted answers NOW.

You are not being unreasonable to take this higher up. Make a note of all instances you can remember and try to bullet point outcomes etc.
Going off on a tangent, I really think lunchtime supervisors should have a bit of training on pastoral care and managing childrens' play/ relationships. IYSWIM. In so far as noticing when bullying or isolating behaviours are happening and intervening. Noticing if several children don't appear to have friends and instigating a game with them. A bit more supervision and management.
It's all very well allowing kids to free play at lunchtimes and breaks, but most of them are micromanaged (including my own) until they get to school and then go a bit wild.

Ask the head for a copy of the anti bullying policy and take it from there.

The teacher just told me, no log of it I don't think so I will definitely speak to them about that.

Yes, definitely do. My DS has injured himself plenty at school (clumsiness rather than anything to do with another child) and I've been given a slip of paper each time with a description of what happened, what time it happened, what (if any) first aid was applied, who administered the first aid and what time they notified me. The slip is A5 size with various tick boxes, so not a huge amount of work to do, just X bumped his head/arm/leg at 10am, cold compress applied, mother notified at collection. I don't see why they are not doing the same and how can they expect to identify any recurrent patterns of behaviour or indeed protect themselves if it turned our your son had concussion and they had not done everything they could at the time?

Write to the school detailing all the assaults on your son - with dates and who you spoke to - and ask for an appointment to discuss how they will safe guard him in future, who will be responsible for his safety at breaks and lunch, and how they are applying their anti-bullying policy. Make sure you spell out that this is a safeguarding issue that is currently being neglected. Good luck and hugs to you and your son

I feel for you. My daughter was bullied the whole of Y4 and the school were rubbish. I removed my daughter from the school and said she'd be back when they could keep her safe. Took them less than 24 hours to get procedures in place.
At least they inform you of his injuries my daughter was covered in bruises and scratches that we were never told about or documented because the teacher didn't notice.
I'd email the head and if you talk to his teacher make notes on what has been said. It's useful for you to have a paper trail and school can't backtrack if everything is in writing.
I hope you get it sorted.

Your son's school sounds crap. The teachers' attitudes are usually a reflection of the HT's attitude (not that they share the views necessarily, but their hands are tied). The fact of the Head not wanting to be involved strikes me as ominous, as the Heads that I have known that swerve meeting parents, attending meetings, etc have been poor at the job; the Heads that are visible, available, prepared to take the time to discuss issues are MUCH better.

I would push for answers and concrete evidence of what measures they intend to put into place to keep the pupils safe (ultimately your child, rather than all, but the way to protect most is to supervise the one with issues). As suggested, get everything documented in writing, email is fine. In the meantime, I would be investigating other schools if a move is possible.

Shit Heads run shit schools.

Good, kick up a stink. It's not acceptable

Teacher spoke to me tonight. Told me he's been sternly spoken to about it and will not be allowed to join in at break times. They've said and done this before tho but either the lunchtime supervisor is unaware of the rule or they just can't manage it but it just slips back again to him running a mock.
Ive told him all the things that have been suggested to me here. He says he will speak to the head and get back to me.

I'll leave it a few days then I will try to speak to the head myself whilst handing in a letter at the same time

In my DDs school the boy would of been excluded by now. They have a zero tolerance policy on bullying and violence. 3 strikes and your out basically.

@Snugglemonster84 put the conversation you had with the teacher in writing and send a copy to the school (head) the teacher you spoke with and the chair of governors.

Report it to the school as a repeated failure to safeguard your child (and others) from xxx, resulting in repeated injuries to your child.

The magic word is safeguarding. If you report it to school in writing or verbally or by email as bullying or a concern they don’t have to do anything (although obviously a good school would want to!) - if you report the identical thing and call it a safeguarding failure they have to follow it up properly, logs are kept, ofsted monitor safeguarding complaints and so on.

So it’s worth creating a paper/email trail if they just talk to you - just emailing in tonight to say further to the safeguarding issues you raised the other day you are glad to see the school is finally taking them seriously and you look forward to getting an update from the head as promised. For reference the issue you are worried about is the repeated out of control behaviour of child xx lashing out resulting in your child being hurt. These have included the incidents listed below over the last year (and then have a bullet point list of incidents and date and brief notes). The actions discussed with the teacher were x,y and z. They are going to start with x and y, this will be monitored for [time - a week? Two?] after which the school will update me. If there are further incidents in the interim, I will update the school but also expect to be notified if my child is hurt (or whatever you’ve agreed).

If you know other parents who have had dc that have also suffered get them to raise it as a safeguarding complaint too - multiple complaints about repeated failures relating to one child will raise flags.

My son heard the teacher speaking to his guardian about it at pick up. He was telling the child sternly. The gaurdian shouted at the teacher "don't you speak to my child like that" and took him away. So what can you possibly expect when he obviously has no consequences at home.....

From your update, I would say the problem is more with the parents than the school. Schools can put in place many things for children with this type of behaviour, but it won't work without the support of the parents. Sometimes schools are doing a lot more behind the scenes to stop this kind of behaviour but are not allowed to say due to the confidentiality of the other child. They should be able to tell you how they will keep your child safe though when speaking to the teacher/head.

As mentioned above, put everything in writing, title the letter Safeguarding Issue. Push the point that you are concerned for your own child's safety. Copy it to your Director of Education by name (or Head of Education, the person will be listed on your council website). Then the school cannot just ignore it/play it down.

Good luck.