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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let her go on this sleepover?

36 replies

Sleepover1 · 25/02/2020 09:33

Dd is 6...7 in May...
A girl in DD’s class (one of her group of friends) is 8 next week and she is having a sleepover party (you know the ones with the hired teepees!) so dd has been invited.

I know the parents very well, I knew then before we had dc to be honest. It’s just a bit early in my mind for sleepovers (I mean she is 6!!) but she wants to go, she has been in sleepovers to family before etc etc. I just don’t know if it’s the right thing at the age of 6 and would I spend all night worrying??

I have tried suggestions that I collect her late so she can go but sleep at home but she wasn’t impressed...clearly defeats the purpose I know!!! But it was worth asking!!

Should I just let her go and get over it??!!

OP posts:
drinkygin · 25/02/2020 09:35

I see literally no reason to pick her up before bedtime. Why ruin her fun? It’s be really unfair to not let her go.

FakeFraudSquad · 25/02/2020 09:43

I was six for my first sleepover. My best friend had been sleeping over at my house for a long time prior to me sleeping over at hers...maybe a year or longer.

As a teacher, I’d say end of Reception to Year 1 is when sleepovers seem to start happening regularly.

To be honest, this sounds more about you than her. She seems raring to go and, overall, your goal as a parent should be for her to be independent one day. That starts with little things like this and taking your lead from her.

The parents will have a number to ring you on if she changes her mind at any point, surely? Then you’d just go and pick her up.

LagunaBubbles · 25/02/2020 09:48

I don't understand why you wouldn't let her go to be honest.

Original poster
Sleepover1 · 25/02/2020 09:51

To be honest, this sounds more about you than her.

I am not denying this...its my anxiety tbh!! I was just thinking that 6 is quite young! She is absolutely raring to go, I know she’ll be fine I suppose! I just have to get on with it now and take the leap...thank you!!

OP posts:
user1493242132 · 25/02/2020 09:52

OP I completely understand. I would be the same. Mostly cause I am an anxious parent and I fear everything under the sun when it comes to my kids. Mine are a bit younger and I have wondered when would be a good age for sleepovers. About 25 I reckon Grin

InDubiousBattle · 25/02/2020 09:53

My ds is 6 (year 1)and he's going to a camp sleep over thing with his Beavers troop in a few weeks. He seems keen so we're letting him go, it's not a million miles away so it wouldn't be the end of the world if we had to go and get him but I doubt it will be a problem!

InDubiousBattle · 25/02/2020 09:55

I'm the same op, my anxiety levels will be through the roof but I absolutely can't let it hold him back.

crustycrab · 25/02/2020 09:57

Let her go and don't worry. What exactly are you worried about? She'll love it

GameSetMatch · 25/02/2020 10:10

I’m going against the grain but I wouldn’t let my six year old sleep over at a friends house, family yes but I think they are a bit young for a whole night away.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/02/2020 10:18

As you know the parents well, I would let her go but be very prepared to pick her up in the middle of the night. Will your dd talk to the parents if she wants to come home? Can you / they give her access to a phone to call you if she’s upset?

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/02/2020 10:19

What I mean by the phone is that she would call you even though she hasn’t spoken to them...

FakeFraudSquad · 25/02/2020 10:20

You can do it OP, deep breaths. And like I said, if she’s not coping then I’m sure the family would ring you and you’d go and get her.

If it wasn’t someone as close that you’ve known for years or she’d just turned six I would probably be a little more hesitant but it sounds like you have a great relationship with them and trust them and she’s 7 in two months and excited for this event so it sounds like a perfect opportunity.

Glitterblue · 25/02/2020 10:20

Personally I feel it's too young but my daughter never wanted to stay away from home, she never wanted a sleepover even at my parents'. Her first time away from home overnight was when she was just turned 9 and had a school residential then she went to a birthday sleepover 2 months later. One of the girls had to be collected from that sleepover at midnight because she was homesick. She was 8. My daughter is now about to turn 10 and I think she'd be fine doing sleepovers now but only if I know and trust the parents.

I think the appropriate age depends a lot on each individual child. Your DD seems to be OK with the thought, mine most definitely wouldn't have at 6. We had one of DD's friends to sleep over when she was 4, and her mum was in hospital overnight and her dad was working, and she was fine but did regular overnights at the granny's. The same child slept here again at 5.5 and 6 and was fine both times.

Flutteringsatlast · 25/02/2020 10:20

Sleepovers not until secondary school here!!
Or it's childcare!!
My dc are happy to wait.
Seems to be the norm at their schools anyway.

Taytotots · 25/02/2020 10:22

I'm a beaver leader (5-7 year olds) and we do a few sleep over trips a year. A few bring a parent but most are absolutely fine on their own possibly because we make sure they are completely tired out. Just make sure they they have a phone number to get you on in case she changes her mind at bedtime - we have had a few do that. My own kids have done sleep overs with friends since they were five.

RandomUser3049 · 25/02/2020 10:34

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Sweetbabycheezits · 25/02/2020 10:37

If you know and trust the parents, then let her go. They will be aware that she's young and will keep an eye on her. My DD spent lots of nights with her best friend at that age, but I was friends with the parents and it was always fine.

Andtwomakesix · 25/02/2020 10:45

I'm with you although I'd be tempted to let my DD (7) sleepover as part of a group but she's asked a few times about staying over at a friends not as part of a party. I don't know the parents and keep saying no to those. I just don't feel comfortable with it.

Original poster
Sleepover1 · 25/02/2020 11:16

Tbh I don’t know EXACTLY what I’m worried about, just that she might need/want me and I won’t be there. I don’t think I have much of a choice tbh...she wants to go!

OP posts:
Changeofname79 · 25/02/2020 11:18

Mine went to sleepovers at that age if I knew the parents well, even DS2 who is autistic/has ADHD. It has to be whatever you are comfortable with though. As long as you can be contacted easily I dont see a huge issue.

Changeofname79 · 25/02/2020 11:20

I find that sleepovers tail off at secondary school, definitely a primary school thing more round here!

MaintainTheMolehill · 25/02/2020 11:25

I totally get where you're coming from. I remember when dd had her first sleep over (my best friend has a dd the same age) and after I had checked on my eldest two I sat in dd's room in tears looking out the window and worrying about her and if she was lonely or scared. She came back the next day all excited to tell me all about it and she had had a great time.

It gets easier each time. Just make sure you have something planned for yourself that night even if it's just a good film to take your mind off it and be pleased you have a daughter who feels secure enough to go off for a night without Mummy Smile

Nowayorhighway · 25/02/2020 11:27

I started having sleepovers with my best friend when we were 4/5 in reception, I’m definitely not scarred.

Crunchymum · 25/02/2020 11:32

I still can't work out how they are in the same class?

Am I being particularly thick today?

  • unless it's a mixed age class?
FakeFraudSquad · 25/02/2020 11:38

@crunchymum

Could be a mixed age class (I was in them in a small school) or the birthday girl could have been held back a year, very common round here. Rarer, but OPs daughter could have been moved up a year.

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