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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give up trying with parents

6 replies

ESC2197 · 25/02/2020 02:04

Some back story, haven't had the best relationship with my Dad and Stepmother since he left when i was 9(Always been me going to him even on my birthdays). He remarried when i was 12/13 (now 22). Relationship got better 5 years ago, with me starting to talk to him first. It's never been the best relationship but I thought it was getting better when i got married(Stepmother got mad at a few wedding things). Anyway... I had a baby 8 weeks ago and he's see her three times, the day she came home and then a week later when I took her to him, and then again 2 days after that, again me taking her to him. I've tried multiple times to arrange something so he can spend time with her. If i text I get a reply 8 hours later or not at all, he doesn't answer if i call. The same goes for my stepmother. They are not busy people, both very part time work. It's feels like I'm the only one putting any effort in. Should I say something or just not bother anymore? I love my dad but this is just to much, they already have 2 grandchildren they don't see, what's one more.

AIBU for not trying anymore?

OP posts:
MySonIsAlsoNamedBort · 25/02/2020 02:08

I'd be putting all my energy into looking after the baby not trying to get anyone around to visit.
I've completely left it up to other family members to contact us and come round if they want to see my baby, otherwise they just don't see her. Their loss.
You have enough stress with a newborn without chasing after other people, don't waste the energy.

power0901 · 25/02/2020 02:15

YANBU
Personally if someone wants to see my kid they can contact me.
If not then I rather them not be in my sons life. I rather only have people who see my son as an important person in their lives.

ChicChicChicChiclana · 25/02/2020 02:22

Who are the other 2 grandchildren they don't see?

Your relationship with your Dad sounds like very hard work. Are you sure it's worth the effort?

ESC2197 · 25/02/2020 02:27

@ChicChicChicChiclana I have a nice and a nephew.
It is hard work and I'm starting to think it's not worth it

OP posts:
Leaannb · 25/02/2020 02:46

YANBU bit just because they only work part time does not mean they aren’t busy

ButtonandPickle19 · 25/02/2020 02:50

My PIL are like this, DS is 4 months and they’ve been down to see him 3 times... first time he was a month old! And I’ll point out they live so close I can see their house from ours.

I would go low contact and concentrate on your lovely new family and the relatives and friends who give you support and their time

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