Difference between "in love" and "loving someone"?

[VeryBowie]

Intrigued about people's opinions on this.

Is there a difference between "loving someone" and being "in love" with someone?

I know there are different types of love, such as platonic love or love between friends. However, for example if you have been married for a while, would you class yourself as still being in love with that person, or do you still need the fireworks?

Only reason I'm asking is because a workmate of mine is currently having an affair with a recently married man. He claims to be "in love with his wife" because he is "married to her". He never says he married her in the first place because he loves her. She is confused because he claims he cannot love two people at once. (By the way, this is not a reverse. Said workmate does not have a MN account).

I hope this all makes sense, and intrigued to see your opinions.

You can't be in love with someone while having an affair with another.

Being in love is special (sorry for the cheese). It may not always be fireworks and excitement but imo it's very much about 'the one' and wanting to do anything for them.

When you are in love with someone, you don't see the annoying little bits.
When you love someone, you see them and still happily live with them
😁

Also agree with pp. You can't love someone while shagging away elsewhere

I think loving someone covers all types of love, friendly, family and romantic.
Being in love with someone is used, by me anyway, to describe the way I feel when I’m in a relationship with someone.

The way I describe it is this, I'm in love and love my husband, I'm not in love with but love my mum x

Ah. I always took the "in love" as the first honeymoon phase kind of love🤔

To me "in love with" carries overtones of the first flush of sexual/romantic love that happens in the honeymoon period of a relationship or if you have an unrequited love for someone. That may or may not survive in a settled marriage or LTR: you'd hope it would but it seems quite common for it not to.

"Love" can encompass everything from the way you feel about a parent or sibling to the trust you have for a very old friend. Or indeed romantic love.

So being "in love with" someone is a subset of "love for" someone.

None of this has anything to do with the dick your workmate is shagging: highly unlikely that he loves either his wife or the woman he is sleeping with, he's just having his cake and eating it but trying to keep your friend as a bit on the side and managing her expectations down in case she gets above herself and tries to argue for commitment.

Needless to say she needs to dump his sorry ass...