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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lying friend

44 replies

Mummyofthreeloves · 24/02/2020 13:48

Hi MN.

I need to ask a question and I am feeling hopeful someone could perhaps explain this to me, if anyone knows the way companies house works etc.

My sister is unemployed. She's very lazy, but her husband works offshore self employed. I made a comment to her that she should get a part time job if she is feeling bored. She quickly snipped that she is a director in her husbands company, and made out that she's so busy with this.

I went onto companies House and she is listed as a director of his company. Her husband as I stated above is self employed and works when he picks up a new contract.

Can someone explain if she's busy as a director. She was trying to belittle me as if I was beneith her and I don't know what she does etc. She made out that she's always doing his taxes and other things to do with being a director. Is she having me on?

I know it's none of my business but I'm just cureous what her actual job would be as a director of his company of exactly him and her.

Is she just a name on a bit of paper to avoid tax and she can claim dividends etc?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummyofthreeloves · 24/02/2020 13:48

Sorry, I meant to fix the title heading before I posted it. My mistake Smile

OP posts:
WinterCat · 24/02/2020 13:49

She could have loads of do or nothing at all. There is no way of knowing. Sorry.

sunshineANDsweetpeas · 24/02/2020 13:50

She won't be doing much, a bit of paperwork each week at a push if he's contracting and working offshore. Certainly not a full time job unless he's got a multimillion pound business and employs 100s of people.

KC225 · 24/02/2020 13:51

Were you trying to belittle her by suggesting she get a part time job? Why not suggest a hobby, volunteer work or part time study?

Does she owe you money OP? If not, why all the sleuthing? Does it matter?

AriadnesFilament · 24/02/2020 14:05

Why does it matter and what’s it got do with you? I can’t believe you’ve had the face to go checking on companies house to try to catch her out! What a damned nerve!

Fwiw, how busy she is wound depend entirely on the nature of his business and how complicated his tax and expenses etc are.

ThePants999 · 24/02/2020 14:05

The role of a director is very ill-defined. Typically it REQUIRES very little work, but CAN be very significant.

In a tiny company, though, it's probably next to nothing. If she were actually significantly involved in the business, she'd likely have a job title other than "director".

tiggerkid · 24/02/2020 14:11

How long is a piece of string? It takes someone 30 minutes to clean their house. Other people need 3 hours. You don't know either what her husband's taxes involve or what her capability is in sorting them out. You also have no idea what else she does for her husband in terms of company's errands/admin and other things.

My sister also says she works for her husband. I couldn't care less what she does or doesn't do. Not my business and not my issue.

Original poster
Mummyofthreeloves · 24/02/2020 14:13

No need for the nasty comments. I'm not even giving you the full story, but yes, she does owe me money, that's why I said for her to get a job.

Thanks to the others that posted. That's what I thought.

If MN can delete this or someone could please tell me how to delete the post. I can't be doing with brain dead morons on here who get their kicks from trying to be rude to someone asking a question.

OP posts:
FuckPolitenessSSDGM · 24/02/2020 14:14

Why does this matter to you? She probably felt attacked by you. Your post makes you out to be a bit jealous and mean. What business is it of yours?

ThanosSavedMe · 24/02/2020 14:15

Why do you need to know?

It’s up to her whether she works or not. If they can afford it is a family and they are all happy. Why does she need to justify what she does to you?

Wishforsnow · 24/02/2020 14:18

If she is not working and is down as a director it is tax efficient for him to pay her to her tax free allowance of £11k per year rather than to the taxman. I am happy to be corrected but its something like that

Finfintytint · 24/02/2020 14:18

You can ask for your thread to be deleted by reporting your own post.
I’d be surprised if they do though due to you not liking responses.

ThanosSavedMe · 24/02/2020 14:19

Can’t see any nasty comments. Only people querying why it matters.

You said she should get a job if she’s bored, no mention of her owing you money until your last post.

Ineedcoffee2345 · 24/02/2020 14:19

I'm director of my husbands company. Its alot if work. But he has around 8 people working for him that could be why. I do all admin. Paying of bills. Deal with accountant etc etc. However it does mean I can do these things from home as we have 2 under 2 dds.
Yet my sister wouldn't be able to tell the amount of work I do at home she would never go poking her nose into my business

Celeriacacaca · 24/02/2020 14:20

I think she's exaggerating her role - maybe she has an inferiority complex about not having a job? Her other half is self-employed so goes from contract to contract which will generate a small amount of admin.

I have a friend who goes on and on about her DH's "business" and how she runs it but he's also a contractor (long term contracts) and self-employed so the admin again is minimal for one person, let alone two! (I know as I've been in this position.)

I'm a director of a company and have had to sign things from time to time and do a bit of reading but that's it i.e. nothing that couldn't be done after work or at the weekend.

potter5 · 24/02/2020 14:23

I would think that you have asked her to get a job to enable her to pay you back what she owes you? She is trying to justify not working at a part time job by saying that she already has one. If that's the case then you can ask for your money back 'as she is already working'.

Sounds like she doesn't want to get a 'proper' job.

OP - ask for your money back.

BrowncoatWaffles · 24/02/2020 14:24

Well this escalated quickly. Brain dead morons in six posts? Wow. I'm not sure this is the place for you...

coconuttelegraph · 24/02/2020 14:30

I'm director of my husbands company. Its alot if work. But he has around 8 people working for him that could be why. I do all admin. Paying of bills. Deal with accountant etc etc

You aren't doing that by way of being a director though, you are two separate things - you are a director, you do work for the company, no connection between the two.

You could be a director and do nothing or you could do those tasks as an employee.

Director is a legal position, it has nothing to do with work is or isn't done.

The answer to your question OP is that no one can tell you apart from her what she does,, no point in getting arsey, you've asked a question that can't be answered

grudieabbey · 24/02/2020 14:36

Wow your attitude ... no one was having a go, people were asking for clarification. If you’re this antagonistic and defensive to people trying to help
you then how are you behaving towards this friend/sister? Maybe she exaggerated her position because of a nasty attitude on your part?

But maybe I’m a brain dead moron ... not unlike morons who post asking for help and then throw their toys out of their pram when they ... get help... Grin

dontgobaconmyheart · 24/02/2020 14:39

What nasty comments though OP? People (rightly) suggesting you should mind your own business aren't wrong. Nobody here will know what she doesn't do in the way of work as a director. If she indeed does nothing, that's up to her and none of your business at all. Perhaps she doesn't want to explain why this is the case to the type of person who is spending their time online desperately trying to catch their own sibling out and police her working contribution Confused.

If she owes you money, ask for it, suggest payment plan or see a solicitor. It's not for you to do anything else.

Lalala205 · 24/02/2020 14:41

I'm unsure what your question is tbh? Are you stating she owes you money, but is dragging her feet to repay and making excuses? Or are you stating she's 'lazy and workshy', as she's putting her feet up whilst her DH works?

UnaCorda · 24/02/2020 14:42

At the risk of being called a "brain dead moron", it's somewhat ironic that you're posting about your sister lying when you were clearly intending to pretend that this situation relates to a friend.

Anyway... as others have said, it's impossible to know how busy she would be as a director, although I would have thought your brother-in-law would have hired a qualified accountant to do his taxes rather than his wife (assuming it is your sister you're talking about...).

GertrudeCB · 24/02/2020 14:44

Wow, how rude op.

Wolfiefan · 24/02/2020 14:44

Wow. Only one poster on here has been rude.
She owes you money? So you didn’t really suggest her getting a job so she wasn’t bored did you?
You don’t sound like you like her much. Limit contact and don’t lend more money.

KC225 · 24/02/2020 14:46

I asked if she asked you money, I also asked why all the sleuthing. I don't think I was 'nasty' but calling strangers brain dead morons would not be unexpected from someone calling their sister lazy and checking by up on them. Just ask her for the money.

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