To not wear a suit jacket to a funeral.

[CD14]

Relative of mine has sadly passed away. Neither me or Oh have any funeral attire so need to go shopping or order something 😭

For my my partner. I was thinking black trousers, white shirt, black tie and black pull over jumper with black shoes obviously. But would a pull over jumper be frowned upon compared to a suit jacket?

He’ll still look smart just my oh is really quite small built and even small suit jackets swamp him and we don’t have time to get one tailored!

That is fine. The last few funerals I have been to, only older men were wearing suits. Younger ones wore similar to what you describe, not that anyone could tell as everyone kept their coats on. People don't always wear black either, just dark colours.

The thing is, dress codes are changing so the person who commented about all men owning a suit is mistaken. I interview from senior to junior positions and again only older men attend in suits. A lot of workplaces are more casual these days, some roles are always casual. So it is quite possible men don't own suits as they have no need of them. My own husband does own a suit but he has worn it once in about five years.

I'm pretty traditional when it comes to funerals and I think that sounds perfectly fine and smart.

As I've seen tatty jeans and trainers more than once now I really wouldn't worry.

the Funerals I attended recently were more smart casual, family members did wear slacks but I didn’t notice suit jackets except on the under takers helping carry the coffin in so I think once you are both well groomed the jumper is perfectly fine!!! It’s bad enough you have to go to a sad occasion without having to stress about buying a suit so don’t worry you will both look grand!

Most people at FIL's funeral didn't take their coats off- it's freezing at the moment. Does he have a suitable winter coat? No-one will even notice.

It will be absolutely fine, I've seen people wearing exactly that before .

It sounds fine to me - perhaps if he has a smart dark coat he could wear ig over the top. Honestly, if other funeral attendees are worked up about what he is wearing, they ought to concentrate more on mourning for the deceased person.

It probably varies from place to place and from family to family, so it’s best to ask. At funerals I’ve been to, only the immediate mourners and undertakers wear black, others wear somber colours in varying degrees. Mind you, this is in Ireland where everyone turns out for a funeral. Unless he’s a pall bearer or reading a eulogy, a jacket wouldn’t be expected.

That sounds perfectly fine for a funeral OP.
If you or he are worried, could he not just borrow one?

I’m in the very formal at funerals camp and always wear a black suit dress and sometimes a hat, but think what you’re proposing is smart and appropriate. The last funeral I went to (a few weeks ago) the daughter of the deceased wore a bright summer dress and her husband jeans. Not to my taste but it showed me how much styles have changed and that almost anything is acceptable nowadays. I’m sorry for your loss.

When I hosted my dad's funerals a couple of years ago people turned up wearing all sorts, I didn't care provided they weren't taking the [and TBH I'm not sure I can imagine what taking the would look like].

wear something colourful black is morbid. You are celebrating a life lived.

I think it's fine. I have a black cardigan with purple vest thing attached inside that I've worn to a couple of funerals. It's nothing special (& sounds worse than it is!) but worn with a black skirt or trousers looks right.

I don't think funerals are as formal anymore. I also doubt anyone really notices what people wear unless it's completely out of place/inappropriate.

DappledThings Wow, fuschia leopard print. You have to admire her nerve!

Has he a smart black coat he can wear?

Also can you borrow a jacket if really necessary?

I think he will be fine personally but you (he) can judge it better

I have a cream wool coat that my dad loved me in and said it looked so good on me I should always wear it so I wore it at his funeral although I did have a black dress and jacket underneath. An aunt commented that she considered the coat inappropriate but I knew if my dad was looking down on me he would have approved and that was all that mattered to me.

I'm a verger at a lot of funerals, smart, neat and clean is fine. Your OH will look smart, neat and be clean.

It will be fine. He won’t be the only one.

It's completely fine, OP. And if anyone thinks it isn't, that's on them. He will look smart and appropriate, and tbh, for a funeral in February, he'll need to keep his coat on anyway.

wear something colourful black is morbid. You are celebrating a life lived.

No, you aren't. At the funeral you are grieving for the person you have lost.

At a memorial service you are celebrating the life lived, and you would not normally wear black for that.

Not sure where you are, but I found by asking the very nice men in the gent's section of M&S where they sent suits to be altered overnight that they use local tailors - and because of the circumstances of it being a funeral, they also kindly provided details to go direct, as the wearer of said suit wasn't available to be measured.

If it's just a matter of buying a short fitting suit and getting a sleeve adjusted so it doesn't make him look like a kid on their first day of Big School, that's the sort of thing that can be sorted out in a five minute visit to the tailor in your area and then collected the next day - and it's incredibly cheap, too.

Sorry for your loss OP. If your OH did want to find a suit, or even just a jacket, you can get reasonably priced ones from primark, tesco even asda!

I was at a funeral last month. Your OH's outfit sounds fine compared to some I saw. My OH wore a suit, shirt and tie. Some men had no suit or tie, just a shirt and trousers. Some had jeans on which I personally find too informal for a funeral.