Please can someone help?

[SingleSidedShoulderShrug]

I'm in the middle of a major mental health crisis. DH asked me to go and stay with my parents to give him a break after I tried to kill my self. I had the means to do it I just didn't want the last person to speak to me be a paramedic so I took the tablets and then went to A&E myself .

Anyway I'm now living with my parents, and we haven't seen each other since the 6th feb. He initially wanted a divorce but his parents have talked some sense into him, thank god. I was difficult to live with , and I know I put him under immense stress.

I'm going over to where we live on Wednesday because I've managed to wangle all my hospital appointments to be on the same day (Thursday) and I need a hotel.

This is the bit I'm shitting it about, it will be the first time I'll be alone for more than 2 hours ( apart from bed time) since I moved to my parents so I'm worried about;

Being in the hotel alone
Being too far away from anyone in the hotel
Seeing my friends after I tried to kill myself as DH has told everyone we know so everyone will want to known more.
Where do I book the hotel? Near the small village in which we live? In a smaller town? In a smaller village in the opposite direction to where everything all my appointments are but I know will be quiet? Or in the big city near by where I can meet DH for a (Non alcoholic) drink possibly twice?
I'm also worried about people asking why I'm not drinking, I could tell them the truth that my anti psychotics don't mix with alcohol and that I'm actually struggling with alcohol in a dependency way)

God my life is fucked up:

Sorry it's long

I don't agree with DH telling everyone you know.

Is the hospital in the big city? You can go straight back to your parents when the appointments are done? DH has confirmed he can meet you? If you have a time gap you could start a thread on here as there's always someone around, and ask people to check up on you.

2 hospital appointments are in the big city,
3 are in the smaller town they start early and I'm currently 2.5 hours away in wales so I can't go on a day trip, my mum is a vicar and has a lot of funerals this week so can't come and be with me. But I'm
So nervous. I feel sad he felt he had to tell
Everyone who knows me in our small village it's like everyone has a front row seat to my mental break down!

Oh you might have to stay overnight? Have you stopped drinking now?

Can you stay with DH just for one night?

Hey OP! I tried to kill myself this time last year and as a result my DH left (he did eventually come back) please private message me if you need to talk, (I’m new to mumsnet but assuming you can do that?!) I can be a listening ear and perhaps show you that there can be light at the end of the tunnel? Hugs xx

Could he not come and visit you, just for a couple of hours to start this off? Or could you not visit him? Seems like the relationship is far from secure and you both need to take baby steps if you want it to work

@Bellad19 can I message you?

@SingleSidedShoulderShrug yes of course lovely x

Good luck today op. You can do it. Use help so generously offered here too.