I need advice.. maybe I am. I can't think straight

[SingleSidedShoulderShrug]

I have sever ptsd and bipolar, I would sorted it to BPD but that's borderline personality disorder now, it was caused by reporting a rape that occurred when I was 25, but only reporting it at 30 and I'm on
1.Quetiapine 800mg split morning and eve

1. Venlafaxine 75mg once a day I was on 335mg but it made me suicidal and feel really untouchable at that dose so I was told wean down and they'd sort out a new antidepressant, but as I've weaned down I feel like I've hit the therapeutic gold spot as I feel way more normal than I did. So we're leaving it at 75mg

1. Mirtazapine 15mg once a day. I did use this to fall asleep but it doesn't work any more.

However it does chill me out a bit.

However this combo of meds Is working right now. I've been on this combo of meds for about two weeks and I'm sleeping again, I feel like I can se how to get out of this funk. And that I can get through court

I'm meant to be taking over the roll of chairman of the charity group I take part of, we each have a year of being chair. It's coming to the handover now and I'm
Feeling so overwhelmed and so worried about forgetting things or fucking it up I feel as out of control as I did when I was unmedicated. I am currently forgetting things and a list as long as much arm to do.

Aibu selfish to say this is too much?

Not selfish at all. Your health and well-being comes before anything else, especially an optional extra like volunteering. If you want to compromise you could ask to defer it a year or until you feel more able.

Look after yourself first.
Drop the charity work, don't overwhelm yourself.

We have nothing in this world if we do not have our health and our sanity.🌻

The opposite of selfish. Sensible. You put your recovery at risk and put the charity at risk too if you take it on when you aren't up to it. Concentrate on getting better so after, if you want, you can do something like this and be great at it.