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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu: long distant boyfriend and communication (i think im being unreasonable)

6 replies

Suanna12111 · 22/02/2020 22:17

Hello,
I know im going to get loads of people saying im being unreasonable but i feel like crying because i've already sent the message :(

Basically, my boyfriend works away, He's been away for 3 weeks. And he's home in 2 weeks. We video call a couple of times a week and he is amazing. But today I just felt so emotional,
Yesterday I heard hardly anything for him message wise so i initiated contact via message with some news about a friend, and we did end up having a video call which was great!
Then i sent him a message last night basically explaining that i'm staying in now and having an early night (i was supposed to go out but it was too windy so didnt fancy driving in the dark),
He saw it and didnt reply,

Today i heard nothing so i sent him one of those sticker things on facebook messenger that was a bear saying "i love you" (cringy i know but we send them sometimes to each other),
He replied
"Awwww"
"Do you actually though?"
"Like really?"

This took me back so i just said "of course!"

Heard nothing back.

Messaged him about 4 hours later asking if everything was okay and he said "having food with the lads, are you okay? Video call tomorrow!
So i basically said that sounds great.

But i had this niggly feeling that something was wrong, i dont know what it was so I messaged him asking if he was sure everything's okay as i'm feeling a bit distant because it feels i am doing most of the messaging and talking during video calls,

And now it's been turned into a huge deal and he's telling me that he loves me to pieces and i'm his soulmate but clearly i've changed feelings because i said i was feeling distant,
I told him i was sorry and It's probably sounded worse over message, I said I just felt he was losing a bit of interest but i'm probably being stupid,
And he said he doesnt get where i've got.all this from or who i've spoke to about him (i havent spoken to anybody) and that he only speaks good about me and i've clearly changed feelings and i'm worrying him

I'm feeling sad now :(

OP posts:
Suanna12111 · 22/02/2020 22:19

I probably shouldnt have said anything Blush

OP posts:
Suanna12111 · 22/02/2020 22:20

We're 24 and been together a year

OP posts:
QuentinWinters · 22/02/2020 22:24

Poor you Flowers
Sounds like both of you have had a moment of insecurity magnified by being apart. If he was nearby you would have a hug and be fine.
I don't think either of you are being unreasonable. I'd leave it til tomorrow and then try video calling to clear the air

Suanna12111 · 22/02/2020 22:36

Thanks for replying Biscuit Yes I feel in long distance there was bound to be a moment where this sort of issue arised,
I didnt mean to make it such a big deal though

OP posts:
scaryteacher · 23/02/2020 00:48

He's away for work. If he is working, then why would you expect to hear much during the working day?

I know what it's like, dh used to be away for 6 weeks plus for work (and with no contact whatsoever possible on either part as he was at sea under the water), and it can be hard, but you do sound a tad needy.

QuentinWinters · 23/02/2020 11:11

Hope things are ok today x

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