To think that FWB can never work out

[flossiewossie124]

... because you know too much about their past? I’ve been seeing a guy for about 10 months now. We met abroad and I’m having a great time with him. We started off as FWB and have been exclusive all of this time. He now wants to date officially and make a proper go of things. I really like him but I feel like because we started off as friends I know far too much about his past! We know about each other’s ex’s and he told me once me in the early stages that he has a “one that got away”. I would love to give this a go but how can I settle knowing that he has a one that got away? He hasn’t seen her since Uni and said it very flippantly during a conversation. I don’t want to be anyone’s second best. He’s ten years older than me so he has a lot more experience of relationships compared to me. I’m 25. Am I being unreasonable to just quit while I’m ahead? Does a one that “got away” even exist? It would be a shame to end things as everything else is going really well. Maybe I’m overthinking this! Would love opinions from people who have had a happy outcome from FWB.

Would you rather not know anything about the last of someone you date?

Weird attitude

Christ, the grammar in this is terrible. Apologies!

I must be getting old because 10 months’ sexual interaction, hanging out together and chatting honestly on an exclusive basis sounds very much like a relationship to this old gimmer. 🤷‍♂️

Surely everyone gets to know the past of someone they get in a relationship with, especially when it's a serious and long term one? Even you will have a past OP, why should anyone be able to judge you on it, or you judge them?

Pretty sure by 35, most of us have ‘one that got away’. You are overthinking, and with that attitude you night struggle to find a partner over the age of 21

Also, if he’s mid 30s there’s been ample opportunity to track down his one that got away & he hasn’t, which seems relevant.

I don't understand why a persons history has any bearing on a FWB. If it's a FWB set up their history is really irrelevant. You're not dating if its a FWB.

Sounds more like your dilemma is caused moving onto dating from friendship not the WB side of things

People have histories. This sounds like you've got more of an issue knowing anyone you're dating has a past. Most people will have a past and a "what if" person.

FWB can work if both people value the friendship, enjoy the sex and keep the boundaries between the two. It won't work if one person is hoping for a relationship. At the moment you both seen to be interested in a relationship, it looks like an early relationship rather than FWB to me and you're struggling with dating someone with a romantic past.

Thanks for the replies. All fair points. I definitely think I need to chill out and stop overthinking it. I had a not very nice ex who slept with his ex girlfriend so I guess this sort of thing just triggers me.

I though the best relationships are also friendships. What would you prefer? To end up with someone you've never talked about their past with?

Well, you were never FWB to begin with if you were exclusive. FWB is not exclusive.

I've had successful FWB, we never wanted to date each other seriously. That's not FWB.