to think my boss should have responded?

[PyongyangKipperbang]

I have been signed off work for three weeks, for a start anyway. I emailed my boss straight away, gave all the information and asked him to let me know the best time to call to speak to him. I didnt want to call as it was during the busiest time of the week so I figured that email was the best thing to do. I was due in this afternoon.

I know that the email has been read because I have access to them at home, it was read last night shortly after I sent it and I have had no acknowledgement or reply.

Part of the reason I am signed off is stress and anxiety, and I am in a real state about what to do. I already hate that I am letting my colleagues down and am sure they hate me for it, the idea of ringing him makes me feel sick with worry, I really cant face doing it if he hasnt replied as he is obviously pissed off. We communicate by Whatsapp, and there has been no message on there either. A simple "Got your email, call at X time" would have been fine.

What do I do?!

You've said yourself that it was the busiest day of the week so he'll have been focused on that, plus perhaps reallocating shifts or tasks for the next 3 weeks.
Maybe he's pissed off, maybe he isn't. If he is maybe he realises that and wants to wait before speaking to you so that he's in a more constructive frame of mind.

What are you looking to discuss with him? Will this have come as a surprise?

I would never respond to a sensitive issue email on a Friday evening after a busy week. Far better to wait until Monday morning IMO.

You need to call, op. In fact, you should have called at the point at which you were signed off. I fully appreciate that your anxiety may make that very hard, but where I work it’s policy and there are consequences of not calling.

During that conversation, you need to allow your boss to work with you to determine how, and how frequently, you will be in contact with one another. And nearer your return date, discuss that return. For example, you might well want to explore a phased return. A good manager should be amenable to that.

Hope you are better soon, btw.

It will have been a surprise yes. It was to me. I didnt realise how bad I had got, until the doctor started asking me questions and I realised how poorly I've been coping.

We dont do office hours, its hospitality so he will be there all weekend. I did ask for a response. Just ignoring it seems wrong. Even an "Ok" would do. What if I hadnt had access to the emails? I wouldnt even have known he had received it! And thinking about it I dont know if he knows I have access at home as he only started recently.

Madness

THats why I asked him to let me know when he wanted me to call. I really couldnt have called last night, he wouldnt have been able to take the call and certainly wouldnt have been able to deal with it. Thats why I emailed saying I would call when he wanted me to.

I think you shouldn’t worry too much. When I’m busy I often take a while to respond to things even if I have a quick read. If he was busy and now it’s the weekend he might wait till next week as probably wants to set aside time to talk to you properly rather than just a quick rushed call.

Sorry op but you do need to call. Did you phone in sick yesterday? At least call and leave a message. Your boss might well not want to respond to an email as you’re off sick.

I think your worrying to much poppet. Try and push it back to your mind and focus on you. He’s read it and they are aware, if they need to contact you over it they will. He could of read it and then got distracted with work, especially over a weekend if you work in hospitality.

Even an "Ok" would do.

No it wouldn't. Then you would be here asking what he meant.

What GinDrinker00 said. He has read it and he is aware so now try and focus on looking after yourself. Easier said than done but try and distract yourself from thinking about it. Take care OP 💐

You don’t need to speak to him you need to drop your sick note off or have someone else do it

mrsbyers as a manager I would expect a call. It’s policy where I work and yes, I have pulled people up on this (on their return).

You can post your sick note; that’s very common and absolutely acceptable.

Maybe he's waiting for advice from HR? Some places I've worked have very specific rules about managers contacting employees who are off sick - especially if it's stress / MH related.

Managers are human too.

Whilst I try to be prompt, if I know an issue might need sensitive handling, I'm not going to fire off a quick reply on the busiest day of the week if I've been sent a lot of information to digest.

It will be a week tomorrow. I have called twice and went in this morning to drop something off to a collegue (not work related and she met me outside) and he refused to speak to me.

If you're signed off with MH related illness, that could be longer term or could be aggravated by any discussions re work that may make you feel pressured or more anxious , he'd probably prefer HR to deal with any queries you have. If you're worried work stuff is outstanding or what rules are re sick pay etc maybe email HR in the first instance.

I don't know what your company policy or setup is, but in mine you're not supposed to have contact with work if you're off is they shouldn't be communicating with you as it can be seen as pressuring you to work.
If you've informed them of your absence and given in the not fit for work notice then you have done what you need to do. Any outstanding work needs to be sorted by them, not your problem any more.
You need to concentrate on getting better.
If you have an HR dept it would be better to speak to them about any work related issues, pay etc as they can help and you're not in the situation of being pressured.
Mental health is a particularly difficult one but you really do need to treat it as a physical illness and take time to recover.

Why are you so fixated on your boss calling you? And why are you interpreting his behaviour as all about you?

This is more likely to be your anxiety and stress leading you to fixate in an unproductive way.

You’ve told your work that you’ve been signed off and why and for how long. What else is there- at the moment- that needs a response? You’ve said yourself it’s a busy workplace.

Just back off and focus on your recovery. Fixating in trying to interpret someone else’s behaviour - with very little evidence - will not help you recover.

I’m signed off currently for MH and I haven’t called, just sent my sick note. I wouldn’t be able to call, I’m way too anxious!

And I wouldn’t be able to take a call either.

I don't know what your company policy or setup is, but in mine you're not supposed to have contact with work if you're off is they shouldn't be communicating with you as it can be seen as pressuring you to work.

This

Where I work, you'd be expected to call rather than email or text, even if you had to leave a voicemail. If you are getting into a state of anxiety about it, you would be best to phone, otherwise it will continue hanging over you when you should be focusing on your recovery.

Put in a call at the most convenient time for the manager, if he doesn't pick up leave a voicemail and send yourself an email noting you've done so, then you've done your bit.

TBH I can see why he hasn't called back, you're signed off for 3 weeks, what's there to discuss?

Not sure what your wanting to discuss with him really, it it what it is. He has to deal with your absence as well as his usual workload an a busy environment. If your signed off for that long it wont be a priority to discuss anything with you now, towards the end of your sick period yes definitely.
I have dealt with similar as a boss and your reading far to much int this. You've done your bit concentrate on getting well hell Contact you when its needed.

I don't think he needs to contact you? I assume that you wrote in the e-mail saying that you're signed off for 3 weeks and attached the sick note? I think they're actually not meant to contact you anyway while you're off sick unless it's necessary like to ask for something like keys they may need or other important things.

I would have just called when you got the sick note and said 'I've been to the doctor today and I've been signed off, I will e-mail the note to you and be in touch near the end of sick leave to let you know what's going on'

Sounds a bit odd and stressful. Good luck OP.