Playing Outside

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We have recently moved to a cul-de-sac which I wouldn't necessarily describe as either busy or quiet...but we have a lot of kids who play outside.

My SD9 was looking out of the window at them playing the last time she was with us and was giving it "OMG look at those children out without an adult! That's not allowed!" Turns out her mum has told her she can't go out herself until she's 12, and has told her it's illegal hence her shock at seeing kids out themselves at ours.

We know she has never been out to play at her mums before (different housing situation as she lives on a main road) but it got me thinking and researching...

Apparently most parents feel the same as SD mum, and kids don't go out to play anymore..?!

I just want to state for the record that I don't disagree with people who decide to not let their kids out til older, but I just found it surprising that this is what's normal now compared to when I was a kid and we spent all summer outside fending for ourselves and loving it (I'm late 20's)

I have a 3 and 1 year old that I would expect would be out playing with the other kids from about maybe 6/7?

AIBU that the general consensus seems to be that kids shouldn't be out until their high school age? I think it's a bit nuts...and a bit of a shame 😟

I agree with you. I also think it is terrible to lie to kids about things like this (telling SD it is illegal for kids to play outside on their own).

My dc have played out since about 4/5. Totally normal around here. But I think it really depends on the area - we are very rural with little traffic, there's no way I'd let the dc out in their own in a city.

One if our reasons for choosing to live where we do is the greater freedom the dc can have.

Some of my best memories from childhood are playing outside for hours on our cul de sac , and it was the same for my kids before we moved long before they were 12 there might not be an adult out but there is always one keeping an eye

I know! That's what I remember about being a kid too, I know it was a different time, but surely if you don't let them out til they're 12 they miss it entirely? By 12 I'm sure it's more "hanging out" by that age that "playing"

Maybe I'm reading too much in to it.

We lived in a flat in the city before and now we're in a town in a house...so wouldn't have considered letting her out before. I know if we let her out here herself though her mum would probably stop contact.

Just find it all a bit sad really!

Mine are 8,7 5 and 2 and have never played out. We live on a main road in London, no children play out where I am.

We live on a main road, but DD would have been allowed out to the park by herself from about 9, she didn't feel ready.

My two older ones 7&8 play out and have done properly since last summer. It's a god send not having to entertain them all the time lol.

Both my kids have played out from the age of 6 in a cul-de-sac type situation. My now 13 year old will go out exploring with his mates on their bikes for most of the day.
Although I appreciate that we live in a little rural village so we are very lucky.

It depends where you live. We live on a main road so no chance of the kids playing outside the front alone. Where I grew we lived in the countryside so few cars and living in a kinda cul-de-sac with large grassy area so all the kids in the village played outside together.

It would depend heavily on your local area. We were lucky enough to be able to choose an area that has a lot of families, parks etc and not much traffic. It was a big consideration when choosing locations.

I had overprotective parents, and while we played out, we had to be in sight of our house all the time whereas our friends had much wider boundaries. I want to be more relaxed about letting my children be out and not let my own anxieties take priority.

When the boys were little we were always out playing in the street. We were lucky and lived in a quite cud de sac. As they were under 5 , as were most of the other kids , we became friends with all the neighbours.
Now they are older they go to the skate park by themselves

We live rurally but our house is on a street, so for DS to ‘play out’ he’d have to walk across two main streets and play on the green/in the park by the lake. The children in our village tend to play out by themselves when they’re a little bit older, so maybe 10/11? But again, we have one of the deepest lakes in wales on our doorstep, and lagoons etc, so they have to be good swimmers.

Our street isn’t really suitable for playing on but it’s not a main road either. I plan to let my ds walk between nearby friends gardens by 9. Our school has kids walk themselves in p5 which is from 9 1/2.

Sorry, got that wrong, you can be 8 1/2 and start p5.

Ha 12! Good luck trying to get them to play out at 12! My kids go to the park with their friends but not go play, more as a moody nearly teenage hang out to escape from the stooopid parents! Shes going to miss the boat if shes not careful!
Mine played put from about age 7. We live in a pedestrianised area and next door to a park with full view of what they are up to do v safe. However once they get to senior school they are much less interested in going out to play.

We're in a similar housing situation. Child played out with other children from about three, but with one of us watching, then when she was at school she played out without us having a close eye on her. There's a boundary which she wasn't allowed to cross then but now at eight she'll come and tell us if she's crossing it and where she's going.

I'm glad to hear so many do let their kids out if the area allows for it!

I thought I was going nuts!

We live in a cul-de-sac that has a little closed off playing area. One of us used to sit outside on one on the benches with the kids when they were younger, now though we have recently let DD (who is almost 6) play out with the other kids, ranging from 7 to 10.
She knows her boundaries & will always come and tell us if she goes in someone's back garden. One of us will always stick our head out every 10 mins to check, but we can normally hear her anyway

I used to live in a cul-de-sac & have so many memories of playing out on the front, so really wanted the same for our kids.

I think giving them a bit of independence and rules to follow when they're young helps later in life!

I'd expect 6 and 7 year olds to be supervised tbh. Even when I was growing up in the 70/80s we weren't allowed on the street at that age, not without a grown up - and that wasn't in some closeted area either. Children of that age don't have the proper road safety awareness to start with. They should have an adult with them unless they are playing in their gardens.

But by 9/10 playing on a quiet street or a local nearby playground, without much traffic, with other children of similar ages - no problem.

I don't like it when youngish children are also expected to supervise even younger ones. They don't have the capability of being one charge' and responsible.

We live in a quiet cul-de-sac. Ds is not as street wise as other kids. Even though I was very nervous about it he started playing out in our street around age 7.5 and progressed to the next street where his friends live age 8. He is 11 now and is still only allowed to next street.

I think it has been one of the best things to help him become independent. He is a quiet, sensitive autistic boy and I so happy he is able to play outside with his friends when he want to.

Mine have never played out. No-one does it round here. They did walk themselves to school from age 11 though.

No-one really plays out here - although most children seem to be v young. Mine are allowed out on bikes/scooters as long as they don't go on the road. I can see them from kitchen window and through back gate if I leave it open and it's a very quiet area.

We lived in a village when the kids were small, mine were allowed out from about 5. This will seem too young to many, but it was in a quiet village where they went to school with all the kids. They were allowed to the park, which you could see from our front garden and there would always be older children they knew from school who would look out for them.

We moved to the outskirts of the near by town when youngest was 7 (had to
Move as needed a bigger house and village prices are unaffordable), they were both allowed out from the time we moved around our small estate and the following summer, when she was 8, dd2 was allowed to the park, maybe 200m away, but out of sight, with her friends.

We are lucky. Even the town where we now live is reasonably safe by today’s standards and kids do still play out.

Now at 15 and nearly 12 the dds are allows where they like with in reason.

Dd1 was out playing from about 3, that was 27 yrs ago.
Dd2 is 4 I have just started letting her out the front, we are in a quiet cul-de-sac.
She knows that she must not wander off or she is coming in.

My mum had 6 of us. We went out and were told to be back when the street lights came on🤣🤣.

We're very fortunate to live in a village, in a quiet cul-de-sac, our kids have been out playing at 2, supervised by an adult or 5 in a group as there's a few kids of similar ages here. The shout of "Car!" as someone returns home is a regular sound in the summer. Imagine lying to a child about something so bizarre though