Feeling quite down and a bit ‘meh’ about life in general right now! I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about it. Lots of fair weather friends but not really any proper ones! I seem to be in the kind of negative mindset that makes it difficult to tell if I’m being unreasonable or not right now!
My long term partner has taken another job in a different country and will be moving next week. We’re going to try long distance but the closer it gets, the more I’m doubting that it’s the right thing to do. Everything is very up in the air at the moment. He needs to get his place on the market but it’s a bit of a riot just now and needs quite a lot of work to get it ready. He has about a week and a half to sort it. He’s taken himself off for a weekend with friends doing something related to his hobby. In the meantime, I’m trying to sort his flat and will be spending all of today/tomorrow painting and cleaning. I’m also looking after his dog. Which I thought I was okay with until I mentioned him checking in at some point (pretty dangerous hobby, numerous people have died doing it in the last two weeks alone) and he quickly shot me down saying he didn’t think he would have signal. He’s been to the exact same place before, he knows full well he will have signal and he’s been online 🙄. Maybe he just wants some peace and quiet but I’m definitely the kind of person who appreciates a random text once or twice over the weekend. Just “I’m still alive” would suffice. I would also find it quite nice that he might have thought of me. I’m slightly worried that the radio silence is a sign of things to come when he moves. It’s just not the kind of person I am, I’ve never been over the top with contact but I like to check in with a text every day or a call everyday. I guess I’m just starting to think that neither of us is actually wrong and maybe we’re just not really compatible. But again, I’m feeling pretty down right now and don’t want to act rashly if I’m just being a bit dramatic!
My dog also passed away not that long ago. He was so much more than a dog for me and had been by my side through all sorts for so long. I’m really missing him and have plans in place to get another puppy shortly but I’m starting to have my doubts that it’s possibly the wrong decision/time/I’m just not ready.
There’s an overwhelming part of me that just wants to just cut these ties just now and have a fresh start where I can actually focus on me. The past year has been incredibly stressful and I feel like I’m just being worn down a little bit at a time. I’m so sick of putting in so much effort everywhere, having no time for myself and just basically losing who I am.
Does anyone else ever feel like this? It’s like something so small as a text has just tipped me over the edge! Or am I just completely losing the plot?!