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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone else feeling a bit down/meh about life just now?

4 replies

Wolfie11 · 22/02/2020 10:47

Feeling quite down and a bit ‘meh’ about life in general right now! I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about it. Lots of fair weather friends but not really any proper ones! I seem to be in the kind of negative mindset that makes it difficult to tell if I’m being unreasonable or not right now!

My long term partner has taken another job in a different country and will be moving next week. We’re going to try long distance but the closer it gets, the more I’m doubting that it’s the right thing to do. Everything is very up in the air at the moment. He needs to get his place on the market but it’s a bit of a riot just now and needs quite a lot of work to get it ready. He has about a week and a half to sort it. He’s taken himself off for a weekend with friends doing something related to his hobby. In the meantime, I’m trying to sort his flat and will be spending all of today/tomorrow painting and cleaning. I’m also looking after his dog. Which I thought I was okay with until I mentioned him checking in at some point (pretty dangerous hobby, numerous people have died doing it in the last two weeks alone) and he quickly shot me down saying he didn’t think he would have signal. He’s been to the exact same place before, he knows full well he will have signal and he’s been online 🙄. Maybe he just wants some peace and quiet but I’m definitely the kind of person who appreciates a random text once or twice over the weekend. Just “I’m still alive” would suffice. I would also find it quite nice that he might have thought of me. I’m slightly worried that the radio silence is a sign of things to come when he moves. It’s just not the kind of person I am, I’ve never been over the top with contact but I like to check in with a text every day or a call everyday. I guess I’m just starting to think that neither of us is actually wrong and maybe we’re just not really compatible. But again, I’m feeling pretty down right now and don’t want to act rashly if I’m just being a bit dramatic!

My dog also passed away not that long ago. He was so much more than a dog for me and had been by my side through all sorts for so long. I’m really missing him and have plans in place to get another puppy shortly but I’m starting to have my doubts that it’s possibly the wrong decision/time/I’m just not ready.

There’s an overwhelming part of me that just wants to just cut these ties just now and have a fresh start where I can actually focus on me. The past year has been incredibly stressful and I feel like I’m just being worn down a little bit at a time. I’m so sick of putting in so much effort everywhere, having no time for myself and just basically losing who I am.

Does anyone else ever feel like this? It’s like something so small as a text has just tipped me over the edge! Or am I just completely losing the plot?!

OP posts:
Skittlesss · 22/02/2020 11:35

FlowersBrewCake

Aww, I really really don’t think you are being unreasonable for feeling this way. It, honestly, sounds like your partner is taking the mick. He knows he has such a short time before moving and he’s decided to go do a hobby and leave you at home cleaning up after him. I think you deserve so much more than that.

I feel for you with you losing you dog. I have dogs and you’re right - they are so much more. Get another. You won’t replace your original dog, but s/he will help you. I truly think dogs are great therapy - I got my first when I was diagnosed with PTSD and she literally saved me from it.

Put yourself first and do what is best for you. I think he sounds like a selfish turd... he could text but has chosen not to. I think that tells you all you need to know. Trust your gut. Xx

Dinomom52 · 22/02/2020 12:14

It sounds like you’ve got a lot on at the moment & lots of change.

I’m sorry about your dog.

Your partner doesn’t sound the best either.

I did read somewhere that you can change your mindset by thinking about 3 positive things or things that you’re grateful for everyday for 21 days. I’ve not managed it yet, but it’s worth a try.

Is there anything that you do for yourself that you could do daily? Bath? Read? Exercise? & then that’s your time every day?

I also find listening to music always helps me. Even if I don’t feel like it, I force myself to put some on & it does lift my mood

Lifeisabeach09 · 22/02/2020 12:21

Definitely cut ties.
I cannot believe your partner left you to skivvy at his flat so he could piss off with his mates for a weekend. And lied about contact!
Shouldn't he be spending this time with you before he leaves? At the least, he should be taking care of his flat himself.
Just shows his priorities.
It, also, shows you are being a mug for this man.
Screw the painting and take the dog for a long walk.

mrsbyers · 22/02/2020 12:40

I’d be putting down the paintbrush and walking out of his place - how dare he expect you to do the work while he is away for a weekend enjoying his hobby ! Stop being a doormat

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