What is your life like if you have no health problems?

[AbsentmindedWoman]

I went down a mad mental rabbit hole wondering about this! I have had type 1 diabetes since 11, I do remember a carefree childhood before that but it is so long ago now. I am constantly scanning my body (and, as of lately, my medical tech that gives me info) for feelings and clues to keep myself safe, and constantly analysing where I'm going/ what I'm doing to make sure I have contingency plans for all eventualities.

What is it like to live with no health issues? Can you describe that?

What is it like to live in a body that works in a straightforward fashion? Do you ever think about it, or no?

Would be very interested if anyone can offer explanations of what their lived experience of a 'healthy body' is!

I can definitely relate to the jumping-from-'This is so crap' to 'This must just be normal' thing with chronic illness- it sucks!

I have been unwell since the age of 7 and life can feel like one big struggle!

I think it really depends on your mindset to be honest. I'm 37 and have never had any kind of ill health in my life, the most I have had is mild anaemia due to heavy periods and even then, that's nothing really. Then a few months ago I got diagnosed with endometriosis and had to have surgery to remove it. I've discovered it's seriously impacted my fertility and I do get pain from it. However the way I look at it is that I'm lucky that I don't have any kind of life threatening disease. One of my really good friends has recently been diagnosed with cancer and I can only thank God that I don't have to go through what this poor girl is having to.

I was on a facebook page for endometriosis and my god... you'd honestly think half the people on it had been diagnosed with a terminal illness with weeks to live. Posting close up selfies of themselves with tears and snotters running down their faces, photos of themselves lying on the floors of A&E, one woman even saying that she was pissed off with her husband because he had been diagnosed with glaucoma which could lead to blindness, yet here was her sitting with her "fatal illness" (it isn't, nor is it anywhere near it), people comparing notes on how to get PIP. I had to remove myself.

You can get two people with the same health issue and same severity of symptoms, however due to their mindset, it will affect their lives in very different ways. My gran wasted the last 20 years of her life sitting like an invalid in her house, barely leaving her armchair, complaining about niggle after niggle due to her poor me mindset.

So to answer your question, what must it be like to live with no health condition. Well I wouldn't class myself as having a major health condition and I go about my life like normal. We have a very short time on earth and this isn't a practice run and I'm not going to waste my time complaining and focussing on the condition that I've been diagnosed with. I'm going to live my life fully. However someone with the exact same condition and severity of symptoms as me may class themselves as severely disabled and not participate fully in life, dependent on their mindset. So....I don't think it's necessarily always the condition that impacts on your life, it's also how you think about it.

I’ve gone from a healthy fitness fanatic to very ill in a short period of time. I was always so appreciative of being physically fit because sport was such a big part of my life and I knew that injury or illness would take away the things I love to do.

I don’t think anyone can really be that thankful for good health until you reach old age and look back on a happy healthy life. No one is immune to major health problems regardless of how well you look after yourself and your body. Life’s just too unpredictable.

I am 47, in reasonable shape but that is diminishing as I'm reeling from DD's 2.5 yr cancer journey by comfort eating.
So, compared to her little body, I'm in awe that I've made my age with no major problems. A few niggles, mostly muscular, but I can do all the yoga poses at my classes and still walk the next day.
I'm pain-free and have good flexibility and mobility. I am very thankful.

I spent most of my 40s on the sofa really ill (including cancer) now in my 50s I feel better than I have for years and I am making the most of it enjoying exercise classes, walking and swimming.
I think you appreciate good health a lot more if you have been without it.

Are you in the UK OP? I can't work out your HbA1c number as mine is 66.

I’m 40 and never had any health issues. Everything works as it should. One textbook pregnancy and straightforward birth with no problems afterwards. Strong pelvic floor. Good mental health. I have been ridiculously lucky so far. But as a previous poster said, you take it for granted. I really should eat better and do more exercise. I do worry that poor health is just around the corner.

I am a (so far) ridiculously lucky 51 year old in very good health. I am quite athletic and slim, can eat and drink what I like, and my body does not impede me at all.

However, I have asthma which is normally well controlled, but occasionally very quickly deteriorates for a short while. It leaves me tired, breathless and unable to function properly, before a course of drugs sorts it out and I get back to normal.

I'm not sure that I'd be so aware of or grateful for my usual excellent health, if I didn't get the occasional reminder of what it is like to lose it.

@Mlou32 I do agree it's always good to strike a balance and focus on the things we can do when chronically ill.

However, I get a sense of judgment from you towards the people you dismiss as 'not participating fully in life'.

I participate fully in life, but also have to focus a great deal of attention on my health to make sure I stay as well as I do, sometimes I do complain (only human, and won't pretend my feelings of fear and frustration don't exist) and I won't apologise for it.

Hmm.
Recovered anorexic
Hyperthyroid (graves) now hypo (drugs correct it)
Osteoporosis + severe wedge fracture of L1 4 years ago (back at work after 8 days)
Weak pelvic floor

I feel fit and healthy and have tons of energy. Haven't had a day off work since breaking my back.

Nearly 60 and often work 55 hour weeks, run a home etc, dc 21 and 25 - quasi living at home.

I don't know if I am vey lucky or very strong willed and determined to be well.

Are you in the UK OP? I can't work out your HbA1c number as mine is 66

Not in the UK anymore but was until recently. That's the new measurement isn't it?

According to the conversion chart, 66 is 8.2 in old money but could have read that wrong. Mine is 46 if it's right.

@AbsentmindedWoman well yeah to be honest, there is a certain amount of judgement from me about it. However I don't expect anyone to, as you say, apologise. It's not me they would need to apologise to anyway, it's their own lives that they're wasting so any apologies would be due to only themselves.

In saying all that, I think you have somewhat misunderstood me. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a bit of time out to look after yourself, in fact it's quite sensible. I didn't say there was anything wrong with it. I wouldn't expect someone who is severely disabled to fly about like superwoman pretending that there is nothing wrong. However some people make their illness or condition their identity and that is what I can't stand.

Have managed to get mine down from 90 so I've still got to work on getting it down to about 56 (according to my consultant). It's a constant daily task though but has to be done :(

It's not me they would need to apologise to anyway, it's their own lives that they're wasting so any apologies would be due to only themselves.

This is still problematic though, because it upholds a myth that people can snap out of chronic illness if only they tried hard enough. It discredits chronically ill people, and most of them are doing the best they can with the cards they've been dealt.

@SuzieSunshine keep going, it is hard at times though! Do you have any complications?

I'm waiting to hear when I need eye injections, it is frankly terrifying but will power through!

@Mlou32 I don’t think anyone with chronic illness is wasting their life. Different people suffer differently with the same illness, if some suffer more it’s not due to a lack of effort or laziness. I don’t always think the attitude of patients being expected to “fight” cancer or other chronic illness or disease is always helpful. It puts too much emphasis on the patient’s own will power to get better which if you think about it, is absolute bollocks.

@absentmindedwoman well no, it doesn't discredit chronically ill people. If someone is chronically ill but doing their best, despite the odd day feeling sorry for themselves, which we all do from time to time, then all power to them. However what I'm talking about are those who make their condition their entire identity. Most of us know someone who sits and complains about their slights in life constantly. And their complaining isn't proportionate to their condition. And it becomes the first thing you think of when you think about them.

My gran, who I mentioned in my first post I think, all I can really remember of her is her sitting in her armchair complaining about some ache, some pain, sitting complaining about some niggle or other thing and that dominating any birthday or Christmas celebration that we used to hold at her house. Speaking to my mum and aunts after she died, it appears that that was just her mindset, who she was as a person, someone who constantly complained about how hard done by she was throughout her whole life. It just so happened that her complaining shifted from one thing to another (her health) as soon as she was diagnosed with a minor health condition. Her mindset and ensuing complaining and playing the poor me card impacted quite significantly on people; we used to be miserable visiting her as it was just moan moan moan all the time. It also impacted on other family members quite significantly also. Compared to my grandad who did have a very chronic condition however who soldiered on as best he could, and tou knew when he did complain about something that it was genuine. If she had a chronic illness which she dealt with as best as she was able to, fine. No one would mind her talking about how she felt and the odd moan. But it was like the illness (and it was certainly not anything like you would think from the way she made it out) took over her identify and she wasn't gran/mum/Nora anymore. She was insert illness.

So I definitely think that it is the mindset that is the most important thing. And once again I am in no way saying that people should just grin and bear it, if you genuinely need help then you should ask and there is nothing wrong with the odd day of taking it easy or feeling sorry for yourself. Taking care of ourselves is a must, chronic condition or no chronic condition. What I take issue with are people who make their condition their entire identify.

I think im in pretty good nick, other than having the menopause.

Mlou I kind of get where you’re coming from. I have asthma, IBD and rheumatoid arthritis but I tend to keep my suffering to myself. It helps though, by just keeping going I can be normal. If I’m having a bad flare up I’ll just mention at work that I can’t walk well today and I’ll find computer stuff to do. I work shifts which means sometimes I just have to take painkillers and put up with it but I’d rather that than lie at home feeling sorry for myself.
I work in a hospital which houses some very very sick people so I feel lucky that although I have these issues nothing is life threatening (asthma sucks sometimes but it’s controlled).
I have occasional weeks where I am between flare ups of everything (or I’m on steroids) when I wake up full of energy and think ‘wow that’s what it’s like’! I appreciate those time’s massively.

Ill health is subjective. There are always people worse off than you - better to focus on that than the people who are better off.

Btw I run hundreds of hba1cs everyday in my lab job! I once had a level of 180 and regularly get results into the 100’s. They tend to be worse after Christmas!
So you’re doing ok mate. 😘

@SallySun123 I didn't say people with chronic health conditions were wasting their lives. What I did say is that people who have chronic health conditions who also make their condition their identity and choose to not participate in life as fully as they are able to, by working within their own personal abilities are wasting their lives away. For example, someone can have somewhat limited mobility although still have the ability to get out and about. However there are people in this category (my grandmother) who decide that they are now housebound and pretty much immobile because of this impairment. Despite physio telling her that if she wanted to, she would still be able to do what she used to do, just with the help of a stick/frame. But no, she regularly used to proclaim "that's me finished" and refused to leave her armchair, preferring the initial stages of everyone running around after her feeling sorry for her. Those are the types of people who I am referring to when I say they are wasting their lives. Not those who are genuinely unwell but are working to the best of their capabilities.

I am grateful for my good health, but do try to look after myself too. I only drink outside of termtime, get 8 hrs at night, run twice a week, eat a plant based diet as much as possible and have BMi, blood pressure and pulse all in healthy range. So a combination of genes and enviroment.

@bellabluea that's what I mean, you are functioning to the best of your own personal abilities. Working within your own limitations. I don't mean functioning to the same standard as everyone else and pretending that there is nothing wrong. I mean someone doing the best that that they can with what they have. Working within their own personal limitations, limitations that have been imposed on them due to said condition/s. Still doing stuff and not giving up on life. I'm probably making no sense because I'm completely exhausted lol.

Like with my condition, I tend to just take painkillers and get on with it. I'll ask if I really need help at work, like if there is something I can't participate in, I'll change my schedule around and do it on another day or swap tasks with someone and do what I am able to do. However there is another woman with the same condition as me and I don't think there is a shift that goes by where she doesn't mention it, either complaining about the curent pain the entire shift or complaining that she had pain another day or complaining that she wants to do xyz but can't because she doesn't want to in case she is in pain then. Nothing wrong with the odd moan or cry. But with her, it is relentless. I have empathy for her because I know what it's like, but honestly, it really is relentless.

There could be someone with your exact same conditions, at the exact same severity of symptoms and with the same innate ability as you to do as you are doing, who just won't. Because of their own self imposed restrictions. That's what I struggle with tbh.

I'm always amazed /impressed /irritated by these people who have seemingly no regard for their health BUT manage to remain healthy. Alcohol, bad food, chocies, smoking, no sleep etc.

However, these people become more scarce as they get older. It starts to show.

I make an effort to eat well, sleep as much as possible, drink water, take care of myself. I think this has a big impact on both mental and physical health.

I know what you mean, and I agree with you, @Mlou32. I don't think social media helps, either, as many of the "support" groups seem to indulge in competitive misery. I left a couple of them for that reason.

@Mlou32 I agree. Some people make their health condition their whole identity, I know plenty!!
I sympathise with anyone who struggles and I suspect those people also have mental health struggles which mean they focus on physical issues more than others.
I just think that in this life nobody will do you any favours, you have to help yourself - nobody really gives a shit (excluding family and close friends).
Might be a cynical view but it’s my experience that faces glaze over when faced with ‘this hurts and that hurts’.
Best just to shut up and put up.