To not go to the wedding

[kneestogetheragain]

Dh's friend is getting married in Inverness in August. We haven't received an invite or save the date, but friend told DH about it recently. We live in the South of England and so this would need a flight, car hire and hotel for 2 nights.

We're going on a long haul hol a few days later. Also my DD is back from holiday with her dad the day after the wedding and I'm having her, with my parents coming over to help with childcare for the few days in between.

With the distance, cost, and other factors above, I'd really rather not go. It's a massive expense and will cause stress and busy-ness that week I could do without (I work full time). Getting stuff ready for DD & I for holiday will be completely me.

I've suggested to DH I might not go and he thinks I'm being hugely unreasonable. I'm happy for him to go alone

AIBU?

YANBU at all, he should go alone if he wants to.

I often let my DH go to his friend's weddings alone. They don't miss me and I don't like weddings. I think that's ok.

YANBU. The timing with your other commitments is awful and I would not be going if I was in the same situation.

Strange they've not sent out save the dates if it's during school summer holidays. Is it a bank holiday weekend too?

Not the bank hol, but agree it's odd not to have sent save the dates with it being summer holidays and such a massive distance for a lot of their guests

Also to add - DH frequently chooses not to do stuff with DD & I, including holidays. I'm absolutely fine with this and it works great. This therefore seems like double standards, especially as he's now said he wouldn't dream of not attending a wedding with me