I genuinely don’t know if I am.
She’s 88. Today I mentioned we were going abroad and Fil was coming with us. I could tell by her face she was pissed off st not being asked and for the rest of the morning she was quiet and distracted.
She has been like a mother to me and made sure I was always ok. She walked me down the isle when I got married. We talk daily and one day a week I take her shopping or do jobs she needs doing as no one else can be arsed.
She loves travelling and worries that she won’t get away on holiday again because her insurance is too high.
However - and this is where I sound horrible - last time we went abroad and she came she was a nightmare. I actually had to pay more attention to her than my kids. She over talks people and dominates the conversation. She moans when we eat out. She walks super slow as her strides are really small so even though it looks like she is moving fast she’s hardly moving. I find it really hard to walk at her pace even if I slow down. So we all end up walking ridiculously slow. She won’t go in a wheel chair.
Where we are going is really hilly and has a pool. She will be telling the kids off and calling for me to ‘watch them’ when inam and they are perfectly fine. She can be a bit abrupt with the kids which can be jolting as she uses the same tone she uses with her dog when she wants it to heel.
After the last holiday I said never again. It’s like she turns in to a child when we are are away.
But I know she’s not going to be here for much longer and feel rotten and selfish.
Hit me with it.