AIBU to wonder how to support a child hates needles

[Doesntlooklikeanythingtome]

I have a 7 year old and next week we have more hospital checks for her life long condition. She has multiple health issues and requires scans three times a year and other medical procedures. Next week will be drawing blood and also some other scans. The last time the nurse tried to put the numbing lotion on her hand she became very angry with kicking, hitting and screaming. She is bigger now and knows what will happen. I have tried explaining but she has an extreme reaction and rightly so as it hurts. She needs to have these tests, there is no way around it. It is traumatising for both of us and in the past she has had to be held so that canulas can be put in her hand. I used to put a cartoon video on my phone but she won't accept that anymore. What do you do? This isn't a one off, this is her life and it involves these checks at least once or twice a year, possibly more if her condition changes.

Who the jeff voted "YABU"?! Good luck OP, it's very tough on you facing this situation with your DC.

Play therapy really helped my daughter - well that and getting older and understanding why she needed blood tests frequently (another life long condition here!) we did play therapy when she was about 3 or 4 though. When she was wee, there was a lot of bribery and treats.
Now she is 9, we tell her honestly when her next appt is. We have magic cream, and we just comfort her as much as we can. It really helped though that she has had the same endocrine nurse since she was born doing the tests.

Extreme distraction... maybe?
Perhaps the nurses will have more advice on this: sorry.

Look up EFT. Emotional Freedom Technique. I thought it was a daft idea but I was willing to try anything with my DS as he was very needle phobic. It worked, no idea how or why but it does. My DH does it before a flight as he hates flying.

I haven't read the whole thread so sorry if it is already been suggested.
Could you get the numbing cream prescribed by your GP and apply it yourself as you will have more of a trusting bond with your daughter.
We had a desensitisation kit in our community with pretend needles etc, if this was available in your area or something you would be happy to invest in you would be able to apply the cream and then use the pretend needles to show your daughter that it doesn't hurt and build trust. It's something I have seen work by community nurses. Definitely recommend a conversation with GP.
It does however take time and probably not so helpful for your next appointment but I have seen this work.

Oh and make sure she is super hydrated before going and we keep my daughter hands warm in gloves with hand warmers (she gets a needle in the back of her hand)

www.gosh.nhs.uk/medical-information-0/procedures-and-treatments/fear-needles/audio-podcast-fear-needles

There’s a podcast here with some advice. Also if you search for blood quest app there is an app designed to distract when taking blood.

I would definitely suggest getting the Emla prescribed so your DD or you can apply at home before the appointment (it lasts about 1 hour to 90 minutes so you'd need to factor that in). Also ask to see a play therapist.

Ask the consultant to refer your child to the hospital play team or child psychology if you hospital has a team. They can help you and your child work through the phobia.

My DD has a life long condition that requires a lot of medical interventions. I think this background, of frequent, scary medical prodeecures, understandably makes everything worse. Could it be that all of your DD’s fears focus on or find an outlet in the needle issue? My DD talks regularly with a psychologist about her life in general and this has helped a lot. Would this be an option for you long term?

More specifically, I think it can help to name and validate their fears, e.g. instead of “It will be over in a second, you can do it”, try “This is very scary and imagining it makes it more stressful doesn’t it? Then it is very painful when you are in the hospital, how awful for you. Why would such an awful thing happen to such a lovely girl?”. From that kind of discussion, if you can get her to express her fears, ask her to suggest things that might help. Other things to try are role play, operant conditioning (break the behavior into small chunks and reward for achieving each part) and play therapy.

You get good and bad blood takers. I'll second / third looking away. I'm not upset with needles, but I look away when it gets put in. Anticipation of the stab makes it much worse. Happy to watch after that. I was doing weekly bloods at one stage and was always so happy to get my favourite technician. You didn't feel a thing when she did it. Others are butchers.

The more she fights, the more it hurts. You need to talk to her away from the situation and help her understand that. Then work with the play teams. They're experienced with kids and needles.