to not know how to deal with my brother anymore

[pinklemonade84]

I'm not sure how to carry on dealing with my brother anymore

We have lost both of our parents (dad in 2009 and mum in 2017) and he seems to be acting as if I'm his mum.

He's not had the easiest of times and struggles with anxiety and depression, hut refuses to take the medication that the Dr has prescribed, because he doesn't want to "get hooked on tablets". And whenever any little thing goes wrong he kicks off and there's no reassuring him.

He blocked mein October and then got back in touch just before Christmas because I'd been dealing with my ill epileptic daughter and didn't reply to his Facebook message immediately. And when he kicked off at me, I stuck up for myself and didn't just take his tantrum like my mum used to do

He's having another crisis at the moment and I don't know how to deal with him. I'm sat here wanting to reassure him, but not wanting to say the wrong thing in fear of him kicking off at me again.

I've got my own troubles going on, but he nevers asks how we're doing, and if I mention anything he ignores it and moans about how things are so tough for him

I'm just finding it really draining. There's something almost every day, from the shops not having something in that he wants, to having to reapply for his driving licence, to his dogs playing up. I don't want to have to limit replying to him, yet, I can't say anything or disagree with him without him getting stroppy or off with me

I think I'll get myself an appointment booked with my favourite gp who I find really easy to talk to and see if I can access some support for myself. Like I say, I don't have contact with his support worker, so I don't have a way to let him know

My husband thinks I should just block him. He's very supportive of me, but doesn't understand my fears about my brother. Though his view is tainted because my brother tried to hit him once for sticking up for my mum and telling him to leave her alone

@NotEverythingIsBlackandwhite I'm so sorry that you're dealing with a similar trauma

Sorry for the gaps in replying, I'm trying to take advantage of having some child free time and get some cleaning bits done 😂

OP, you may not have contact with his support worker at present, but surely you could telephone his MH team and tell them about his behaviour?

Nothing will be achieved if you don't contact someone who can get him the help he needs. Phone his GP if necessary.

Abandoning him will do nothing to improve the situation and will probably make it worse.

Getting him help will mean improving things for you too. I know it's hard but what's a couple of phone calls?

I'm pleased you are going to get some help for yourself from the GP. Thank you for the sympathy for my situation. I can relate to the situation with both your Mum and a brother with poor MH (although my bro's situation isn't the same as yours).

Can you give your brother x amount of time on the condition that he takes his pills from the doctor? Perhaps it would need to be 5/10 mins from x to y time daily to check in, say hi and ensure he’s taken his pill then a little longer once a week. Then after a few weeks, if he takes his pills regularly, he should be in a better place and you can drop this back with the goal of going to once a week on a regular day.

Definitely get some help for yourself. Maybe I’m way off the mark for how to manage this. You’re scared of what he may do. But he needs to help himself too otherwise this is just blackmail, which isn’t helping him or you.

My fear is that I do drop back and he does something stupid. I'll try and contact the mh team over there and see if they can give me some advice too. I think given recent events in the news it makes it a bit of a worrying issue for me

If he hadn't pushed so many people away he'd have such a great support network around him over there. But, it's never about how he treats people, always about how they have wronged him

There's no available appointments showing for the next few weeks for the Dr that I'm looking for, but I'll keep checking back in in case a cancellation pops up