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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed when asked to confirm my details

132 replies

exponential · 21/02/2020 12:20

I get annoyed when companies ask me to confirm my name and address on the phone when they mean will you tell me your name and address.

Yesterday when asked I said OK you tell me my address and I will confirm if you have it right. They were non-plussed.

It seems to me “to confirm” means to ratify or repeat an assertion ( Chambers dictionary)-surely they should tell me not me tell them.
AIBU-or just pedantic?

OP posts:
Lweji · 21/02/2020 14:19

but supposing it's your credit card company to advise of suspicious transactions?

They will ask if they are talking to so and so, and let you know that you have suspicious transactions. You are then free to check your account and report anything suspicious to the bank.

dustibooks · 21/02/2020 14:21

I'd be happier for a bona-fide company to give my name and address to whoever answers the phone in my own house, than for me to give my name and other details to some random caller who says they are from 'X' company and I have no way of proving that they are who they say they are.

I'm not going to give my details to a stranger who has phoned me.

adaline · 21/02/2020 14:21

but supposing it's your credit card company to advise of suspicious transactions?

Then I'd check my bank statement and ring the bank back myself.

Bikerider2020 · 21/02/2020 14:24

Then I'd check my bank statement and ring the bank back myself.

A fraudulent transaction may not show on a statement if they've put a block on it. So not sure what checking your statement will do to help the situation.

Aridane · 21/02/2020 14:28

Yes, wouldn’t help at all in a recent and ongoing fraud

Lweji · 21/02/2020 14:32

If the bank rings for suspicious transactions, they only need to ask the person who answered the phone if they are Name Surname and if they have just purchased something.
If the person answering the phone says no, then the transaction should be blocked. No personal data involved and no security details necessary.

Instead, it could be someone trying to make a fraudulent transaction and you've just given them enough information to do it.

If the person answering the phone says yes, then they should be able to answer the security question, fine. It's not likely that you get a phone call from the bank as you're making a purchase, but these days, I'd expect banks to request a code when approving the transaction. Code that is sent by message

Bikerider2020 · 21/02/2020 14:37

*If the bank rings for suspicious transactions, they only need to ask the person who answered the phone if they are Name Surname and if they have just purchased something.
If the person answering the phone says no, then the transaction should be blocked. No personal data involved and no security details necessary. *

Not how it works! That's what you have passwords etc and never give over all the password only the letters requested.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 21/02/2020 14:38

Oh I do wish people like you wouldn’t get off on acting like knobs to customer service people because you think you’re somehow superior.

Yeah because declining to share personal information with a stranger who has cold-called you is really being "superior".

anotherlittlechicken · 21/02/2020 14:39

@exponential Wow, this is so weird!

I bought a new washing machine last January, and I had a phone call the other week, (unsolicited,) from someone purporting to be from Domestic and General (who do the extra cover at £7 a month or something.)

The woman who rang me said 'hello Mrs Chicken, I am from Domestic and General, and I am ringing to see if you want cover for an extra year, on your washing machine...'

So I said 'ummm ok, fire away. How much is it?' She said 'confirm your first name please?' I told her. Then she said 'can you confirm your address and postcode and date of birth please?' I paused for a moment as I was a bit stunned at being asked....

Then I said 'No sorry. I'm not giving my personal details to a random unsolicited caller.'

'Sorry,' she said, 'I just need to confirm who you are.' I was pleasant but I said 'no sorry, I know you're only doing your job, but if you want to offer me an extra year's guarantee, you will need to write to me and I will respond then, but I'm not giving my info over the phone sorry.'

She said 'but it is strictly confidential.' I said 'no, sorry, and I'm hanging up now.' And ended the call.

When I checked the number on 'whocalledme.com' it said' DANGER and WARNING, this number has been reported as harrassing and a scam.

So yep. Good idea to not give them any info. Also, I have looked into Domestic and General and all the phone numbers linked to them, and it almost certainly wasn't them!

Golden rule NEVER give your personal details to someone asking on a random unsolicited call you receive. And NEVER give bank details or date of birth or anything EVER.

Sorry for all the caps! Just DON'T.

NotALurker2 · 21/02/2020 14:39

YUNBU

Every interaction is an opportunity for data mining. I once tried to get my dog's nails clipped and they wouldn't do it unless I gave them my full name, address, phone, etc. Apparently my private info is more valuable to them than the money they make on pet services.

You are no being unreasonable to object, but you are only unreasonable to assume the person you are talking to on the phone cares. They are not the company -- they're just an underpaid employee.

adaline · 21/02/2020 14:40

Yes, wouldn’t help at all in a recent and ongoing fraud

Well, it would help if I rang the bank back on a number I knew to be genuine, which is also what I said in my post.

1990shopefulftm · 21/02/2020 14:41

@Mumofone1902 I agree. I d lose my job if I did it more than once, it's in insurance so I don't think people would be happy if someone got a call about their claim such as if it was a theft and it wasn't them.

I d give out as much information as I m allowed to but I do think people forget they re speaking to another person just trying to do their job.

Aridane · 21/02/2020 14:42

(it was the checking of bank statements I and another poster were referring to!!)

Cornettoninja · 21/02/2020 14:46

It really depends on who called who.

If you’re calling them - YABU and deliberately obtuse.

If they’re calling you - YANBU and crack on.

anotherlittlechicken · 21/02/2020 14:48

@TotesGodsWill

Oh I do wish people like you wouldn’t get off on acting like knobs to customer service people because you think you’re somehow superior.

ODFOD. As a pp said, refusing to give my PERSONAL INFORMATION to a random cold caller is not acting like a knob or acting superior.

Grow the fuck up. And I look forward to seeing your thread on here where you're sobbing because you've been scammed, because you were dumb and naive enough, to give a random cold caller your personal info and bank details over the phone!

anotherlittlechicken · 21/02/2020 14:53

@Pardonwhat

An address given to a stranger? How awful.
It’s not like most people are in the directory is it?

Many people are not in the directory. I have not been for 20 years. And most people I know are ex directory too.

Does anyone even USE a telephone directory anymore anyway?! What is this, the 1990s?!

OldQueen1969 · 21/02/2020 14:54

So here's a question that I've never been able to get a satisfactory or consistent answer to - when I left my Ex DH he got his daughter to ring up, pretend to be me and have my card stopped as though it had been lost or stolen to prevent me having access to our joint (and only) bank account.

When we were finally civil enough to meet and go to the bank to sort out our affairs, I mentioned that I thought it was a bit off that this had been allowed to happen, and it was basically shrugged off as just one of those things by the bank manager. I'm still a bit miffed about that.

Sparklesocks · 21/02/2020 14:57

anotherlittlechicken it's really not necessary to be aggressive and tell people to grow the fuck up.

Bikerider2020 · 21/02/2020 15:01

Also the OP is not making the point of people ringing here, she's irritated that when she rings people use the term "confirm".

anotherlittlechicken · 21/02/2020 15:01

@Sparklesocks

It's really not necessary to tell people how to post. Who made YOU the forum police? Hmm

And I WILL say 'grow the fuck up' to someone calling me a knob, PURELY for protecting myself, and refusing to give my personal information to random cold callers.

Now jog on. Go on ta-ta...

Sparklesocks · 21/02/2020 15:03

@anotherlittlechicken goodness you're very angry aren't you? I'm just saying it's possible to talk to people without being rude, MN is a forum for adults after all. Apologies for upsetting you so deeply though.

Pardonwhat · 21/02/2020 15:05

anotherlittlechicken

Why are you so angry?

Isabella70 · 21/02/2020 15:08

"got his daughter to ring up, pretend to be me and have my card stopped"

My DH had a problem that he asked me to try to ring the bank to fix, they wouldn't do it because they said I clearly wasn't a man so i got a male colleague to ring up instead and it all went without a hitch. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I asked if they were discriminating against me because I had a high-pitched voice.

Given that addresses are easy to find and anything from a public records office (including your mother's maiden name) is, err, public I'm surprised there isn't even more of this than there appears to be.

Bikerider2020 · 21/02/2020 15:10

@Pardonwhat why is she so angry? Because someone dares to express a differing opinion!

Gadgnkk · 21/02/2020 15:10

I think the OP might be missing a key bit of information, which is that the company called her and asked for this information.

I always just say, no sorry, you called me, so I am not giving you any information.