To ask WWYD...present to nephew and niece, nc with sibling...

[greatbiggreybluehumpbackwhale]

I've recently gone nc with my sibling. He is utterly vile and it's been a long time coming. Recent behaviour in front of my dc was inexcusable.

I've literally only met my nephew and niece a handful of times (they are toddlers/pre school age). Up until now I've got presents for them at birthdays and Christmas etc.

Not sure what to do re gift giving now that I'm nc with their parent. Feels weird to get a present but then don't want to cause unnecessary drama with my parents. Sibling is the golden child and the definition of grabby so will likely complain to my parents.

Was thinking just a nice card in the post wishing them a happy birthday?

Or do I continue as normal and get them nice birthday and Christmas gifts? Feels strange though as they are literally strangers to me and I don't feel any connection whatsoever with them.

I'm NC with my brother. We both have three children but he has never met any of mine, I've met two of his. I stopped sending gifts when we went no contact because, really, what was the point?

In our case though his kids were very young and I had never had any kind of relationship with them, we'd only met a few times. I wouldn't have considered myself their Aunt really, other than in name.

If I had had a pre-existing relationship with them then I might have done differently, but only if they were old enough to understand the situation.

Just leave a small token gift at your parents house

NC means no contact.
I'm NC with my dad for 12 years - every gift he has sent for the DC has been binned. Why on earth would I give them a gift from someone they do not see and do not know?

Either gift through your parents, or open an account for when they are older.

My ex mil went no contact with me and my children. The first year she send a Christmas present and then cards for the children Christmas and birthdays for about 4 years. I never gave them to the children. It took them a long time to stop asking about her. I didn't want to upset them with cards.

@MintyMabel, you can open a bank account for children without their birth certificates

This is tough. Maybe card and money in savings? Seems a nice way to do it without it being too complicated.

I send my sister's children gifts, but she doesn't.

My kids get crappy, from a multi packet birthday cards, and I would rather they didn't bother. Either do it properly,or don't bother.

So I would continue as you are xx

I think for now, NC with your brother means NC with his children.

If circumstances change when the children are older, you can reconsider, but cross that bridge if you come to it.

@Homemadearmy

It doesn't have to be in their name. Just a second savings account.