AIBU to apply for a job that I potentially can't start for a year?

[Naicehamhun]

IABU- don't apply and wait until I am in a position to move.

IANBU- Apply and be honest about start dates.

Background: Through a series of circumstances beyond my control I have been left as a lone parent of one 7 year old DC. DCs father is local to where I live currently but is not allowed unsupervised contact, so I have no help. I work full time in a very intensive job and have no support within 100 miles if the area I live in. I am therefore looking to move back to my hometown where there is a bit more support from family and friends.
I have found the perfect job in my home town, I am qualified and stand a good chance. The job market in that area is very limited and this is a rare opportunity.... However. I am not on any position to make the big move any time soon.
My house needs building work before it can be put on the market. The market is stagnant in my area. My mortgage will not allow me to let it out. Hometown is a lot more expensive and I stand to lose a lot of money if I rush this process and I need all the cash I can get.

I can't get this job advertisement out of my head. I feel like I would be a fool to not apply but I can not start for many months and I feel this would instantly put off the employers. They do also specify that previous applicants will not be considered and the likelihood of the same role coming up again in the next few years is very slim.
My initial thoughts were to send an opening email to them before I apply formally, explaining my circumstances and potential start dates to gauge if they will consider me as an applicant. But I feel that this could put them off if I approach it the wrong way. I am desperate to move.

It could be a very short term option to stay with family but it is far from ideal as me and my mother have a strained relationship and are better at a distance.

Given this update, I’m confused about why you’re so desperate to move - especially considering it’s to a place with very limited job opportunities and high house prices.

What’s behind the desperation?

I think the clue to the desperation is in the OP's first post where she explains that the DC aren't allowed unsupervised contact with their father.

But she also mentions family support being a key factor, which given the strained relationship with her mother and lack of anyone else to provide a temporary bed doesn’t sound very likely?

My relationship with my mother is strained however she has a very good relationship with DS. My relationship with my dad and friends is very good.
My parents would be the only ones able to provide accommodation. Friends have their own families or live in small flats (as it is expensive).
I also didn't mention that it is in one of the most beautiful places I have every seen. The views and the feeling of freedom are something that can never be met anywhere else. I only left as a teenager due to job opportunities (no regrets, I have done well being away). It will always be my favourite place on earth.

I have replied yanbu but this is with a caveat.
Apply, and see what happens.
You might not be offered the job, or they might be on the verge of expanding and having your name in reserve could be perfect...
So my caveat is say nothing about your availability. Bring that issue up only if you are offered the role.

I think YABU. They are looking for someone now because they need someone in less than 3 months time.

Someone who can’t start for another 9 months after that is really not going to be any good to them.

I'd talk to the bank and see what can be done to allow you to rent your house while you move to the new place.

Can you do an interest only loan to free up some cash to do the needed work and sell. If you sell as is, how much do you lose? You bought the property, so others might too.

A year is a long time to wait! But, if they are advertising now, interviews won’t be until March, maybe second week, possibly later. Is it the kind of role that would have second round interviews? If so then that will likely take you until end of March.

Whoever they offer the job too they would expect to have at least a months notice period taking you to the end of April. This is assuming their HR runs smoothly. There could easily be an extra week or two in there due to delays and referencing taking you into mid-May. Of course, depending on the level of seniority of the role they might expect a longer notice period. Most roles at my level (which I would describe as middling so not overly high) are two or three month notice periods, taking you until June or July.

It’s not a year but it’s also not a few weeks. Personally I would reply and do all that you can to make it work if you were offered if. Could you start the work on your house now? Is there a possibility of staying with family closer to the job for a few months (not ideal but possibly worth it for the perfect role)?

You say you need to get a good price for your house but what would not getting this job cost you in terms of loss of earnings/increased travel costs? Get a few agents round and find out a price to sell quickly in it's current condition. Then look at the longer term effect on your finances.

No one is going to wait a year for you.

Apply and let the ball roll. You have more than one option for accomodation. You love the place you can do the job. All the rest can be handle.if and when you get the job. You have three months to make adjustements, in RL it can be done. Also if you don't start now, if in the future another opportunity arises, you will be in the same exact position, you will not be ready. Ready yourself by starting the process you have to get a job to have a reason to move. Or get married to a millionaire. Which is also a possibility...

I would apply for the job, if you get it make things work around the job. If it's that niche or uncommon. I.e rent, stay with relatives etc

I did this, got the job offer at the other web be of the country and all 3 of us lived with my parents for six months. It wasn't comfy, but it meant we were able to make the leap. It is never going to be easy to coordinate house sale and job move, and will almost inevitably involve either being put up with your parents or renting for a while. Just go for it and find a way to make it work

Just throwing one more obstacle in your way - hope it doesn't come to this but you don't want to get the job , move and then have this curve ball heading towards you...

You say your children's father is only allowed supervised visits at the moment. How long is this likely to continue ? Because if YOU move away, the family court will almost certainly expect you to continue to facilitate this contact (at the same normal place of supervised contact)

If this leads from supervised to unsupervised (the norm - but honestly don't know your specific circumstances) .. then that would mean you 'making your children available for contact with their father EOW and one evening in the week. ' ..

As a parent with PR he can also challenge you about moving his children (you are obviously able to live where you wish - but as most mums want to live with their children, this will mean you cannot move without permission from him or the court. He has equal rights to say where they go to school etc..

Hopefully, none of this will happen. He may not even know he has these rights. Just want you to be aware what he COULD do. He doesn't need money for this he can apply for a prohibitive steps order to stop the kids moving himself. ..

If I were you , I would definitely pre empt this by applying for a specific steps order allowing this move... be warned though if he refused it could take months.

I think you have to weigh up the opportunity now, versus the likely opportunity when you are more ready.

In my view, the one thing that will prevent the move to your perfect town, is work.

I'd go all out to get that job. The rest is just stuff. You can live with parents, pay for the house to be updated whilst it's empty (much easier for everyone) and get it on the market.

Speak to the bank as they often do allow a short term lease like 12 months.

If you don't do this now, what are the chances of perfect job in perfect town being available in a year? It's not reasonable for a small local company to wait that long, and even then you don't have a guaranteed plan to move.

Put your positive pants on and do it.

I would apply and then see how it goes. If you get the job I think you would need to say to them I am sorry after looking into things it seems my house needs renovations so I can not take the job. At least they would have met with you so increases your chances in the future. A bit of a CF move but you would not be the only person they interviewed so the would naturally go to the 2nd candidate who would have been the first of you had not applied.

I’d come here to sound the same warning as PatchworkPatty.

If it’s a rare opportunity I’d be tempted to find ways to make it work. Some companies offer relocation packages for the right candidate.

However, what will you do if your child’s father applies to the court for a prohibited steps order to prevent your child from moving? The court, in my experience (of my local court) usually would put that order in place while they ask for a report from Cafcass to recommend whether the child should be able to move. Even if it looks clear cut, that report will take three months in itself. So not a swift process.

Just something else to think about.