How do working parents manage in the school holidays?

[ADJ1151]

Question says it all ^^

I have two Dc. Now my eldest is settled into full time school (she went part time for the first term) I need to start thinking about going back to work...

My husband works and earns a comfortable wage, we do manage quite well on his income but some extra income would be nice.

I’ve been looking at jobs in school hours and also the option of breakfast and after school clubs.

My two children have additional needs which makes it harder I think.

But how do you manage in the school holidays?

My Facebook newsfeed is full of parents asking if others can help out with their children during half term..

The school holidays will me my biggest hurdle. Like I say both my children have additional needs, family either can’t or don’t want to help out. I’ve never expected them to.

My children’s school don’t have a holiday club.

There are two childminders in the area but they are full.. and I would be concerned because they are both fairly new childminders and probably haven’t dealt with children with autism before.

If my husbands hours stayed the same every week I would work around that but they don’t. He is on alternating shift but does overtime etc as well. He tries to book all of his holiday in school holiday time but often with half term he doesn’t always get it off because there’s a lot of other people working there who also want it off..

Aibu to think it’s really bloody hard? With the added difficulty of both my children having autism... making finding childcare harder.

What’s the other options? Working from home? working term time only? (what kind of jobs, don’t want to work in the school)

Help?

I work part-time 3 days a week (2 weekdays and a Saturday) during school hours. My oldest 5 has asd. I work retail and it covers my youngest nursery sessions. I don’t have any Sen clubs that are open during the weekday and they're all on the weekends which doesn’t help. I switched shifts with other colleagues to cover. I’ll likely be doing Easter half-term where I work the hours during the week on the weekends as I’m doing this half-term and then summer will be a switch off between my husband and I. I could not work and take the youngest out of nursery, but I rather not. I enjoy working and if anything were to happen to my husband and I needed to go back to work, it would be easier for me to go for a higher paid job having already been working than to do so having not worked in years. We’d have enough for a bit in savings but that would eventually run out.

We agreed I wouldn't work until the children were all in school full time, because we had zero support from family/friends (had had to move for DH's job), and as soon as the last one was in school full time, found a school position that matched their hours and holiday schedule save a day or two each year. That's easier said than done for most, to be fair. I was lucky it worked out like that for us.

I had no family so in the summer holidays so I'd
take take 2 weeks off and look after friends kids too.
Their father took 2 weeks off.

The last 2 weeks juggled about at friends houses, the ones I'd looked after in my 2 weeks. Also kids' clubs.

It's a nightmare OP and looking back have no idea how we did it. Luckily they're old enough now to look after themselves. Was always so envious of parents who had family support.

Taking turns with DH to take time off in the summer holidays.

We weren't off all together for years.

DH got a new job and now works shift which has completely changed our holiday schedule. It's amazing. I even have holidays left over that I can take when I wish so we can be off together

If you live in a rural, touristy area what are the options for working evenings/weekends?

Holiday clubs
Taking holiday at different times
Holiday nanny
Au pair or equivalent
Sharing with friend
Relatives

It's a tough age I think: assuming that means your little one is 2 or 3? We are in London so there are lots of holiday clubs around, and our oldest (5.5 and autistic) enjoys them, though she also needs some down time to do her own thing and just decompress. However, very few of them take under 4s (and quite a few are only 5+), and many of them only run during school hours - so even with taking part of our annual leave as odd days here and there to give DD some quiet days at home, it would be really hard to cover DS through holiday clubs or to rely on holiday clubs alone without wrap around care.

Au pair could be an option if you have space, or holiday nannies (though that's probably easier in a city/town: you may have a student nearby who would be happy to do it but it's hard to get reliable cover on that basis that you know will cover you for every holiday, unless you are in/near a big population centre).

I have had a couple of friends who have found working in school offices good for term time only work - but doesn't solve your problem of child care for your little one, and if it's not the same school your DD goes to you still have the wrap-around care problem, so it doesn't get you very far. I do have one friend who works term time only for a former employer (so they knew her and knew they were happy to have her even on those terms): depending on where you worked before kids is it worth reaching out to see if they might have anything (even if it's one-off projects or cover for sickness etc. where you could add extra value given you know their business and how things work?)

I do think it's something a lot of families struggle with at this age, even without additional needs, which just make things more complicated.

Relax MrsA2015 many SEN children I know haven't been able to access holiday clubs at all.

Holiday clubs only worked for my non SEN child. DH travels and our family are unable to help. I do a small amount of freelance work and fit it around school days but by and large I'm a SAHM. We couldn't manage my SEN child's appointments and reduced timetable let alone the holidays any other way. I'm hoping this will change in the future.

My children are grown up now, but when they were school age they had after school childcare from childminders. I paid the childminder to look after my children all day.
I was basically working for nothing through every holiday. But it’s the price of being a mum and having a career.

Oh yeah and I sent them to Summer Camps too for a week. PGL were amazing!! They take them from 7!!!

I think the hardest thing is it's not just the holidays that you need to cover, it's sick days, teacher training, snow days, voting days and all the rest of it which can amount to an extra 2-3 weeks to cover. I've got 2 in different schools so teacher training falls on different days.

Then there's time off for things like reward assemblies, nativity plays, my youngest is forever having stay and play sessions, who wants their kid to be the only one without a parent there?

Not all areas have holiday clubs especially if they are rural. In our area I think there are 14 primary schools, mainly rural village ones and only one offers holiday club, so you can imagine how oversubscribed that is

It's a real juggle as pp have said. Childcare vouchers were a blessing for us. They have been replaced with a different government scheme. They are deducted out of our gross salary. We use them year round. Some parents even use them for pre school and reception year private school. We have used Supercamps, child minders, the local private schools all have a holiday club which is open for state school students too. There is also a local holiday play scheme, a local charity runs a holiday SEN play scheme (part time). Your best bet is to ask working parents nesr your home what they do. Good luck

Out of school care. The one I used was 50 per week term time for after school and 100 per week in the holidays for 8 until 6

I've got two with ASD too @ADJ1151 - Grandparents thought they couldn't cope with them (they could really but didn't want to learn how to cope with kids on the spectrum), friends and other school Mums were largely uninterested in swaps (a couple did, for which I'm eternally grateful). CMs that we talked to didn't want kids with SNs

We both work FT, but we did it with a mixture of each taking holiday time separately, usually a couple of swaps per holiday with friends, using holiday camps - our kids were high functioning, so accepted at Camp Beaumont, Activ Camps etc and I work for the NHS so could get a discount. We also had an after school/holiday nanny on and off, which was better as they could stay at home and were largely calmer.

I could move shifts around to weekends so I had days off in the week which was useful too.

All in all though, a fairly stressful time and I'm glad it's over - the kids are doing fine now, and as teens are fine to leave for a few hours during the day, which is a shame because now the GPs are happy to get help from them look after them but as I've pointed out, they've kind of missed their chance to get to know them. I know that sounds bitter, but I was missold a diet of 'family will always be there for you' when I was young, only to be very much shown how conditional that is when I had kids with SNs.

If you can get a job which is term time only, I'd do that. The amount you spend on childcare for kids with SNs is enormous, and will eat up any wage you get in the holiday plus some.

I am lucky in this OP..I have an 8 yr old and I have one of the gold dust jobs..I work 11 til 3 monday to friday with every weekend and holiday off .I am not saying this to brag because my job is soul destroying.I detest it but its all I can do until my dd gets a little older. My husband works 12 hr shifts 4 on 4 ofd days and nights so he just isnt reliable to plan anything for childcare.I got a job in school catering.It works for us and my employer are great cos they split my wages for me so I get paid the same every week of the year,it means I take home less each week but I have a wage in the holidays which is perfect for me for trips and outings when my daughter is off.and with 18 weeks a year holidays to cover it helps greatly!Maybe if you could find something like me it would help.Its not what I would choose to do but it is what I have to do for now.. If you apply for these jobs do so way in advance as they come up now for september starts. I also use holiday clubs for my dd as she likes the company even though I am at home but they are really expensive I agree. I wish you and your family well.

I don’t think people with non-disabled children really understand what it’s like. Haven’t RTFT so not sure whether your children would be considered disabled or not.

I am currently battling to get my children into the right specialist school. It’s at least a 20 minute drive one way, and the LA will refuse to provide transport because there is a closer school they say can meet needs.

There’s no holiday club at the school and I couldn’t send them to holiday clubs - they need full time 1:1 supervision for their safety plus there are medical needs for one.

I know one mum who has to pay for 1:1 childcare for her two during the school holidays, £20 per hour, 3 days per week. And she’s lucky she found someone.

Do your children have EHCPs? If so, have you had a social care assessment as part of that? I know some parents who’ve had funded holiday care included in that.

Personally I’m trying to get a new business venture going that I can work around them because I’ll never be able to work a typical job ever again under these circumstances.

We are in a similar situation, DH works FT on a decent wage, which we get by on but doesn't allow for extras/luxuries. I was a SAHM for 8 years as DS1 has ASD and could not cope in childcare (I was previously a high earner and had planned on returning to work).
I have now gone back to work - I have two zero hour contracts and one permanent contract which is only for 8 hours per week. There are a lot of bad things said about zero hour contracts, but they have worked brilliantly for me. I can work round school hours most of the time. I can accept shifts during term time, turn them down during holidays and then pick them up again afterwards. It's been great and the extra income has been so helpful. The contracts are with my local authority.
I would really struggle to leave my DC in holiday clubs. All the ones around here are sports focussed, which is great for most kids but a nightmare for DS1. Our local childminders have dogs, which would be problematic for DS2's allergies and asthma. It's really tough!

I think it does give you some more flexibility if you aren't reliant on having an immediate and regular guaranteed income. I can see that being in a rural location could be limiting though if you don't have easy access to a town, city or other area with plenty of varied work opportunities.

I'll be in a similar situation soon of wanting work that enables me to provide holiday care for the children and will be looking outside of my usual career at doing agency temping when DS1 starts school and DS2 starts preschool in September. Other things I'd looked into were term time work in a university in a role where they need more staff in term time, e.g. library assistant, as we have a few near enough to travel to and I had an idea for a small business (making and selling an item I designed for DS1 and have been asked about making for others) but I would have to streamline the process a lot to make money at it and am maybe not disciplined enough. That would allow me to work fewer hours during the holidays if I had prepared enough stock in term time. Maybe a combination of that and the agency temping could work. I know none of the options will make me a lot of money but it will be better than nothing.

I take all my annual leave in school holidays. Exh takes much of his the same. Holiday clubs nearby - there will be some in any area.

Grandparents sometimes but less now that they are older.

My eldest is 11 so can now hang about the house or nipping round to friends when I work from home but can’t do that with 6 yo (not allowed for one thing).

Been there got the t shirt. So stressful but here are my experiences:
*I reduced to termtime hours plus two weeks in the summer and those two weeks cost me a fortune in holiday scheme activities as mine did sporting activities at a local independent school which were excellent.
*Our very lovely state primary school which our children attended ran a two week holiday scheme which was wonderful particularly when they were very small.
*There are also many sports things (tennis, football, gen activities) at local Sports Centres. Theatres sometimes do things but often only for a couple of hours so really it's for SAHM's and often v expensive.
*There are other playschemes often run in church halls and they do crafty things and we had a bad experience with one of these and it was not active enough for my children.
*I asked one of the people who ran our school's wrap around care if she would look after my DC's for some days, which she was happy to do. On one day they went for a lovely walk and picnic and on another day, I paid her petrol and time and entrance fees to a Butlin's type park .

*My parents would take them out for odd special day trips and also in laws did the same.

Good luck ... one thing I do remember is at work time runs on so make sure you leave in good time to pick your children up from any scheme.

All in all though, a fairly stressful time and I'm glad it's over - the kids are doing fine now, and as teens are fine to leave for a few hours during the day, which is a shame because now the GPs are happy to get help from them look after them but as I've pointed out, they've kind of missed their chance to get to know them. I know that sounds bitter, but I was missold a diet of 'family will always be there for you' when I was young, only to be very much shown how conditional that is when I had kids with SNs.

I don't blame you at all Fortnite; I have seen similar scenarios: where grandparents want nothing to do with being supportive when they can (not talking about families where grandparents are still working themselves, ill, elderly, etc), even occasionally, but once the grandchildren are old enough to do something for them or they're now older and lonely, suddenly return to the mantra of 'family'.

did your parents acknowledge the truth of what you said to them when you pointed it out? Or rewrite history as so many do?

I’m a single parent to 2 teenagers with additional needs and I find it really hard to work, I only work part time but school holidays are a nightmare as I can’t get childcare for my youngest who needs 1;1 care. I have to try and juggle things, sometimes I can drop her off at my mums, other times her sister has to watch her (which isn’t ideal as she has Aspergers herself). My dc’s dad refuses to take any time off to help.

Holiday clubs won’t take dd2 due to her needs, unless I pay for a 1:1 which I can not afford.

People say holiday clubs but it really depends how severe their asd is, my ds now 19 also has autism with severe learning difficulties and is non verbal, there was no way any after school or holiday clubs could of coped with him unless they specialised in asd.

Prior to having my ds I worked for 20 years but after having him it was clear that I would have to be a sahm as like you family didn’t want to help out which is fine I don’t expect them too but they may well of done if he didn’t have complex needs.

Like you it would of been nice to bring a little extra in but it just wasn’t feasible for us to both work not with number of appointments he had to attend and also meetings.

Do evening and weekend work,thats what i did.But it does take its toll.You never see each other and you do be knackered going in to work after having the kids all day.