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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How do working parents manage in the school holidays?

165 replies

ADJ1151 · 21/02/2020 08:40

Question says it all ^^

I have two Dc. Now my eldest is settled into full time school (she went part time for the first term) I need to start thinking about going back to work...

My husband works and earns a comfortable wage, we do manage quite well on his income but some extra income would be nice.

I’ve been looking at jobs in school hours and also the option of breakfast and after school clubs.

My two children have additional needs which makes it harder I think.

But how do you manage in the school holidays?

My Facebook newsfeed is full of parents asking if others can help out with their children during half term..

The school holidays will me my biggest hurdle. Like I say both my children have additional needs, family either can’t or don’t want to help out. I’ve never expected them to.

My children’s school don’t have a holiday club.

There are two childminders in the area but they are full.. and I would be concerned because they are both fairly new childminders and probably haven’t dealt with children with autism before.

If my husbands hours stayed the same every week I would work around that but they don’t. He is on alternating shift but does overtime etc as well. He tries to book all of his holiday in school holiday time but often with half term he doesn’t always get it off because there’s a lot of other people working there who also want it off..

Aibu to think it’s really bloody hard? With the added difficulty of both my children having autism... making finding childcare harder.

What’s the other options? Working from home? working term time only? (what kind of jobs, don’t want to work in the school)

Help?

OP posts:
Raver84 · 21/02/2020 09:14

I work 4 night a week so have the days off get in at 3 am sleep til 7 am then coffee through the day

Snuffkindle · 21/02/2020 09:14

I don't know how we managed. It was a juggle. Kids are on holiday about a quarter of the year. It's a lot.
We were a tag team with our annual leave. We would tend to have a week off together and then the rest of the time separately.
Our local grandparents would help with a day a week.
Our further afield grandparents would have them to stay for a whole week.
They would go to football training days. Or scout summer camps Sometimes days with friends...I didn't really like doing that but occasionally.
And we muddled through. they are now teenagers and we go to work mostly. I'm off today with them and no one is out of their bed yet!!!

dairyfairies · 21/02/2020 09:18

I have a child with severe and complex needs and one without SN.

I found (when DD with SN was still at primary school) a council run club which was happy to take her.

Other than that, DH and I took holiday apart (we were never able to go on a family holiday though), taking unpaid parental leave (you have a total of 18 weeks per child per parent that you can use up until the child is 18 - you can take max 4 weeks a year) which helped to some extend too.

It's very hard esp if a child has severe and complex needs and family life suffers (i.e. no hols together, weekends is just playing catch up in the house) but it is doable.

I didn't have a choice financially but I would not really recommend it.

ArtisanPopcorn · 21/02/2020 09:18

I live in a smallish town but within a reasonable distance there is a holiday club at a community centre, a soft play, a different primary school, a secondary school, a university etc. Just Google holiday clubs/camps in your county and see if there are any near you. Does get quite pricey.

We also use my annual leave, DHs annual leave, DMIL does some days and I get TOIL for overtime.

BuffaloCauliflower · 21/02/2020 09:20

@MrsA2015 what on earth do you mean?

Winter2020 · 21/02/2020 09:20

How far in advance are your husbands shifts known? If you could find an employer willing to offer you shifts based around what your husband is working then you would be able to manage in the holidays as well as term time. That's probably most likely in retail/hospitality or care.

(As someone asked earlier) does your husband work weekends? If you could get your foot in the door of a workplace with regular weekend shifts then you can let them know your availability for overtime in the week.

The people I know managing working with school age children often have one partner working term time only or the parents work different hours so one of them is available all the time. One lady I know is lucky that her office job allows her to set her own hours around her husbands rolling shifts each week. (So she might finish by 2 or start after 2) Perhaps also keep a look out for posts with "hours negotiable/hours to suit" as you might be able to fit them around your husbands hours.

Redwinestillfine · 21/02/2020 09:22

I work term time ( a lot of employers offer it), I get paid less as I'm working less hours, but it's completely worth it to remove the stress of trying to sort it all out and I get to spend time with them as a bonus.

MintyMabel · 21/02/2020 09:23

Then we wonder why schools and care providers are so stretched for funding.

More well off families shouldn’t expect proper holiday/care provision for children with additional needs? Is that really what you are saying?

curlsnotfrizz · 21/02/2020 09:24

@MrsA2015 what on earth do you mean?

I read it as that the OP would be unreasonable, given that they are coping financially on one income, to seek work and therefore would have to unleash her children with additional needs onto holiday clubs as it would not be fair for the clubs to have the additional stress of making provisions for children with SN.

MrsA obviously stands for Mrs Arsehole.

BoldRoo · 21/02/2020 09:24

Don’t write off new childminders - lots of childminders come from nursery and educational working backgrounds so will have plenty of experience working with children with autism, or may even have experience with their own or family’s children having SEN.

wonderstuff · 21/02/2020 09:25

It is really hard. Lots of mums round here work from home and are able to juggle hours. Local holiday club in the next town is used by many. My group of friends try to help each other out, I'm a teacher and struggle with inset days - 10 to deal with now my eldest is at secondary - so friends will often help me and I'll reciprocate in the holidays.
I know that people do go back full time, but I've no idea how.

drspouse · 21/02/2020 09:26

My DC1 has SEN and he goes to the holiday club at my DC2 school. Our SEN Local Offer also has holiday clubs (all it has, and they are no use to us). Or we have a babysitter (former TA of DC1) and we may use him in the future.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 21/02/2020 09:27

I work part time (3 days a week) having gone in at full time hours and then applying for a flexible work request. DH works a set shift pattern so we know what shift he will be as far in advance as we need to so I sit with the calendar and work out what times need covered.

Club times would be pointless for us as they don't start til 9:30 and then finish at 3/4pm. I work an hour away and DH can't leave unless in emergency (mandatory safe staffing levels). So I sometimes swap my days. We take 2 full weeks of leave and then bounce DD around grandparents and her aunties. Thankfully, so far, its worked.

Could you employ a nanny for the days you won't have covered if your family won't/can't help?

helpmethekidsarehere · 21/02/2020 09:27

I think it depends where you live, there are loads of holiday clubs near us. I have flexi hours & can wfh, 35 days holiday. DH is similar. We also use a childminder.

Sockwomble · 21/02/2020 09:27

Since schools are mentioned too I think she means their children shouldn't receive a 'free' education either.

Parents with disabled children always on the grab eh.

helpmethekidsarehere · 21/02/2020 09:28

I work locally too so barely any commute

AftonGlen · 21/02/2020 09:29

Would you ever think about going self-employed and/or doing childcare for others? I understand this isn't for everyone but could work and give you flexibility, there may be others in your area looking for a childminder with experience of kids with additional needs.

poopbear · 21/02/2020 09:30

@MrsA2015 the OPs children are entitled to a state funded education the same as every other child. Should all disabled children be kept at home then in your opinion? You are vile. Society would actually be better off without your like in it. Nazi.

Beagled · 21/02/2020 09:30

Holiday clubs near me tend to be school hours, so no use for me. I use holiday club in a private nursery. It’s great, but expensive!

drspouse · 21/02/2020 09:30

it would not be fair for the clubs to have the additional stress of making provisions for children with SN.
Sod Right Off with your ablist comments.
My DC1 loves holiday club and he has the right to benefit from out of school activities the same as any other child.
The service provider has the legal obligation to make reasonable adjustments for him (at the moment, this is "having an extra body on hand" though previously he did need 1:1 for about 75% of the day).
My child is not less than your child so keep your opinions to yourself.

PaddyF0dder · 21/02/2020 09:31

We just burn through all our annual leave, taking turns to watch the kids.

NerrSnerr · 21/02/2020 09:31

We spread out our annual leave, we have one family holiday and no other annual leave together. My husband accrues Flexi time throughout the year to take in the summer. I work from home on the occasional day and we swap childcare with friends.

We don't have any family to support so it's like a military operation but because my husband travels abroad a lot he gets a fair amount of flexi which helps.

ArkAtEee · 21/02/2020 09:32

We have no family support options, but we tag team our leave and I am able to buy 10 extra days of leave a year. We also use holiday clubs. It's a struggle but we just about cover it.

The real pain is inset days, 6 a year, when there is usually no holiday club option. And the school don't advise on these very far in advance, which is infuriating. Luckily, we have jobs where we can sometimes work from home, so that's the nuclear option, but it's difficult to concentrate with a little one running around! Smile

drspouse · 21/02/2020 09:33

I can't think of one working family here who doesn't rely on parents/ siblings to take the kids at some point, even when they live far and they "only" have them for a few weeks in the summer
Well you can think of us then. I wouldn't let my DM look after either DC for more than an hour or so, same with my DF and DB (not that they'd offer), no other family.

ItWillBeBetterinAugust · 21/02/2020 09:33

As your children have additional needs it is worth you ringing holiday clubs before you apply for jobs to check that they are suitable for your children and you'll feel confident leaving them there, but yes - for school age children holiday clubs are your only option. People who post on Facebook asking for holiday care are idiots.

Will your younger child go to nursery? If so most nurseries don't close in the holidays, or just for a week at Christmas and a week in the summer.