Anyone got a spare patio. (Light hearted!!)

[AreWeAnywhereNear]

Ok so AIBU:

DH to be fair is now regretting his earlier words...'I hope you don't expect me to wash the sink full of dishes when I've been at work all day'

Background, I work full time, as does DH, every day I leave at 7am , he leaves at 8.30am, I get home at 7pm, he's home by 5.30pm. I have taken today off and I've basically done fuck all, I'm knackered. I do ALL the washing, cleaning, ironing and general household management, he ensures the teenagers get to school and starts on our evening meal (as he's in first!)

I know I'm NBU but he's really pissed me off & I've let him know it!

So can I bury him under a patio?

I'm only hesitating because that lets him off the washing up. Bury him WITH the washing up?

Definitely what @MutteringDarkly said

You need an alibi too, @AreWeAnywhereNear. Luckily you were here, with me, watching TV and cuddling the dog. I remember it very clearly!

Why do you put up with working longer hours and doing the majority of the housework? Things need to change.

As soon as the words came out of his mouth he realised, what a huge mistake he'd made.

& yes things will be changing!

& talking to me on the phone (in between those blasted scam calls -actually that's it we were talking about scam calls -remember?) - I have a spare shovel & my neighbour is doing building work - he has just started the foundations nice big deep holes

Do you not think drowning him in fairy liquid is more apt @AreWeAnywhereNear- least his final act would be to wash the pots!

I think MACRO or COSTCO would do a vat big enough!

& than you bury him in my neighbours foundations - they have plenty of muddy water in he wouldn't notice

Don't ruin a decent patio
I would have made him a drink with the dirty washing up water.

Definitely bury him after he's finished the washing up. What a dickhead, I would use this as a catalyst moment to drive a big change in the division of chores in your household.

I’ll be your alibi.

Can I bring mine to join in please. Then we would both have an alibi.

My DP has just had me sprinting through the flat after a choking cough and a really strangulated “User! Help! Please!” I ran, it sounded awful.

He couldn’t work out how to put the battery in his nose hair trimmer. If you find a patio we’ll be in a cab.

I don’t have a patio but I live on the coast. It has an added benefit of being able to claim life insurance money to pay for a cleaner because there will be a body and I’m happy to be your alibi.

There are sharks off our coast line if that's any use in the absence of a decent patio.

Just sew some used tampons into the hem of his clothes and push him into the sharky sea...

Buy a dishwasher. End of dishwashing arguments. Teach everyone to put their dirty things in it, switch on when full and to empty it and put away in cupboards etc when done. Fine ( turn off WiFi for teenagers, other suitably irritating fine for DH) when not complied with.

Can you trade him in for a dishwasher?

They're gutting the house & garden next to me if you're looking for a handy place.... What are you doing ironing, I haven't ironed anything since abut 1986: shake, hang it up damp & creases drop out. And you can get slim, worktop or mini dishwashers if space is an issue.