To think this comment regarding anxiety was wrong.

[ADJ1151]

I have been really struggling lately. I have had anxiety since I was a small child. I am what is considered high functioning anxiety but suffering more so lately.

I’ve never really opened up to mil about it. I don’t actually open up to anyone about it to be honest.

But it came up today. We were discussing blood pressure and I said mine had been high most likely due to anxiety and stress I have at the moment.

Mil proceeded to tell me that everyone has a little bit of anxiety and it’s how we deal with it. She said I need to force myself out of my comfort zone (which is absolutely true and I do at times). Insaid I’m a constant worrier and she told me everyone was like it, not just me and just to stop worrying.. yeah okay. But I hate the way she thinks she’s a medical expert. I absolutely get I’m not the only one to suffer but surely a little bit of compassion wouldn’t go a miss?

Aibu to think this was completely unnecessary? She has no idea what I’ve been through over the years and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone. Not a surprise really is it?

After I had Dd she basically told me I need to buck up but I was struggling. At time I was just overwhelmed. My son had just been diagnosed with autism after months of apps, reviews, meetings etc. My daughter was born and I had complications during a planned c-section so a complete shock, my body was recovering, I was anxious about my son starting school, getting the support he needs, not being able to drive through the school holidays, my partner changing jobs. It was a tough time...

Aibu to think her attitude stinks?

I feel alone. My partner is great and tries to understand, I don’t have a great relationship with my own mother and mil is the least empathetic person ever.

Yeah sounds like she was unnecessarily harsh.

Maybe it's a misunderstanding rather than an insult though? Building some personal resilience is good for all of us and can be especially helpful with some anxiety sufferers. Maybe she was trying to say that but it came out muddled?

She doesn't seem to understand real anxiety at all.

But I can't help thinking less and less people understand it, due to the recent massive overuse of the word.

Far too many people claim to have anxiety, when what they actually mean is they're anxious about something (which is perfectly natural).

It's a bit like the word 'bullied', the constant miss-use does nothing to help those who really are suffering.

I think clinical anxiety is a difficult thing to understand for people who have never experienced it.

I also think the fact that a lot of people nowadays say “I have anxiety about...” rather than “I am anxious about...” confuses the issue further. It IS entirely normal for people to feel anxious from time to time. That’s different from having anxiety.

Given that you already know she’s not an empathic person I think YAB a bit U to expect anything different from her. YANBU to want someone to talk to. Maybe counselling is the way forward for you?

I agree with pp. The word anxiety is so overused. And I feel fir people who have genuine anxiety and won't be taken seriously enough because of that overs use by others.

The situations you describe would incredibly overwhelm everyone with or without anxiety so it's not that she doesn't understand the condition in my opinion. It's more that she just thinks everyone should be able to just buckle up and sail through everything.

If you haven't experienced an anxiety disorder, you can't understand. Try not to take it personally, she thinks being helpful but of course it's not that easy. She can't help being ignorant.

Everybody does have stress in their lives and worries.

Omg!Everydaystress and event anxiety are not the same as an Anxiety Disorder!!😡 Tell her to fuck off

She was speaking about anxiety in general, and being anxious whereas you were meaning anxiety the medical condition. Anxiety is a misnomer in I opinion, it should be called something less misleading.

I think your MIL is talking of a normal level of nervousness rather than medical anxiety. The former you can push through and is fairly common. The latter is rare (except on mumsnet) and may need counselling and medication. It may be easy to confuse if you have never had true anxiety though.

I think that you can hardly blame her if you haven't been honest with her and told her everything. She's not a mind reader and many get to a point of thinking that actually being told to pull your socks up and stop wallowing is appropriate.

She doesn't sound ill intentioned nor really any different to many people I know tbh.

I think yab unfair to judge her when she doesn't have the full picture and she's also got to look on at her son and gc with you in this situation, no doubt impacting on them whether you intend to or not.

Do you want to carry on with this anxiety issue for the rest of your life though?

Buck up isn't the nicest way to put it. But maybe she was just trying to say "things don't have to be this way".

What if your anxiety was actually an anxiety response? A totally normal natural healthy response to trauma. A response you can work with and not be a victim of.

Current MH agenda does people no favours at all by positing "syndromes" and lifelong medication. As if none of us are capable to learn or grow or change in any way.

YANBU

Like telling someone with depression to just cheer up.

Are you getting help though?

She must have had an empathy by-pass.

Some people just have no idea!

Having said that, have you had counselling? It can help, especially if you really engage.

Some people do struggle with empathy. Telling some people to be more empathetic is akin to telling people with anxiety to get over it.