4 week old

[tired1245]

I have a 4 week old who just loves to be held, majority of the time I put her down, she cries, she happily settles lying on my chest, over my shoulder, or just lying next to me. At night time in her next 2 me. She'll not settle, be up every hour, and just won't be happy. I co-slept with her the past few nights and she only woke up twice throughout the night and went straight back to sleep after feeding.
My partners saying I'm being too soft and that she'll learn to be on our own in her cot, and that I need to stop letting her get her own way with her being to clingy and wanting to be with my all the time. He says, 'it's only crying' 'it's not nice but they start learning straight away'
Is he right in saying I'm being too soft?
Or should I just enjoy her being like this (which I am) and carry on with what I'm doing? I don't want her to cry. If she likes being near me and that comforts her then that's what I want to do?
AIBU to just tell him to pee off and I'll carry on with what I'm doing?

Even if you did want to try controlled crying at some point it's not recommended for babies under 6 months. Leaving a 4 week old to cry is neglect. I would say trust your instincts though, plenty of parents never leave their babies to cry, I tried CC once with DD2 at 9 months and hated it so I gave up and never did it again.

OP, tell your partner to piss off. Your brand new human needs contact, security, warmth and familiarity. You are the best person (but not the only one) to give this right now.

Enjoy your time cuddling and being with your baby. The time flies and you will regret not doing so.

Your baby is behaving like a perfectly normal newborn and you're being a great mum by comforting / always wanting to be there. The only one not behaving naturally / normally is your husband - who sounds clueless about little babies!

Keep following your instincts and stand your ground. Being close to your baby and having cuddles is great for their bonding and brain development.

You can't spoil a baby. It's the most natural thing for a baby to be held. You are all they have ever known!!

Look up the fourth trimester and lullaby trust cosleeping guidance. Enjoy your baby and trust your instincts. You've got this

My 7 week old is currently asleep on my chest as I watch a film. He cry's if put him down in the Moses, cot or pram, doesn't mind the car seat, but that's only for travel, he doesn't mind his 'gym' for play time though.

He sleeps on me and is probably held for 20 out of 24 hours a day if not more.

He's happy, thriving and knows he's safe, me and my neighbors, live in a flat, don't have to hear heart breaking cry's for hours on end.

Only downside is me and my partner haven't been intimate well, though this bothers him more than me to be honest.

They are this little for such a tiny time, enjoy the bonding, your baby will sleep alone eventually but for now all she wants and needs is the warmth and love of her Mother and farther.

@MoominKitty that's exactly how I was with my baby! He's now a happy 18 month old who loves doing his own thing by day and sleeping in his cot by night. I miss all the cuddles but he's just too heavy to nap on me now. Enjoy your little baby!

No such thing as spoiling a 4 week old baby, give them as much love & attention as they need.

4 weeks is tiny. My ds sleep on me till 16 weeks. I miss it now!

Also tell him to watch some vids from this channel on YouTube called dad university

You can't spoil a baby. Your partner sounds like a nightmare.

Co slept with my 2nd up to 7months. It wasn’t my intention but he didn’t settle in his bedside crib AT ALL. It was how we got the most sleep and how we were the happiest.
He now sleeps fine in his cot because he can sleep on his front now he’s older.

It’s not forever. Just enjoy every single minute of those tiny baby cuddles.

Your partner sounds like a nightmare- I don’t think you can spoil a baby either but you wouldn’t find me holding my baby in the car for example because it’s dangerous.

Sharing sleep space is also dangerous, so for that reason I would try and settle them in other ways.
White noise, singing, altered room temperature.

Comfort doesn’t always equate to snuggles/ sleeping with you, you can’t give your child 100% when you are sleeping like a cat.

She is 4 weeks - let her do what she needs. I had a dd very h like that and she grew out of it. I do miss those days of closeness with her.

Yes babies do start learning straight away - they learn who they are safe with and can trust, and therefore gaining the confidence to explore their world around them. Leaving them to cry just teaches them that nobody comes, so there's no point. Who would want that! You cannot spoil a 4 week old baby, and infancy is the most important time for emotional development carry on as you are and trust your instincts.

She's 4 weeks not 4 years. Enjoy your snuggles. Let Dad carry her for a bit, maybe she just likes to feel someone near. Encourage skin on skin time with her Dad. My dh loved that quality time just the two of them.

My youngest is 3, coslept lots of the time. She is confident, fearless and thriving. And life has been far easier than with my others who I stuck to the whole in the cot and there you stay approach.

I hate it when people say the type of things your partner has done. This little person has been in the world for 28 days for goodness sake! You are their main comfort, and will be for a very long time, and you should do whatever is it that feels best for you and your baby.

Very normal to want to be held. I remember when my son was tinny the only way we could get him to resettle in his crib was to be swaddled. That really helped him to go back sleep.

One time we struggled for hours and the way he did go off was to swaddle him in my sleeping t shirt which smelled of me. Later on we used a toy comforter that smelled of me to be with him but removed as soon as he was asleep until 1.

That little toy comforter is now still with him every night at nearly 2 and his favourite thing.