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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About mental illness?

37 replies

TheDailyCarbuncle · 20/02/2020 14:56

Why do people think about mental illness and physical illness so differently? People seem to accept that physical illness is somewhat inevitable - everyone gets sick sometimes - but don't seem to think that way about mental illness. They seem to think it can be or should be totally avoidable somehow and if you don't avoid it then there must be an identifiable reason for that.

AIBU to think mental illness is not really any different to physical illness, in that it can strike you even if you do everything 'right'? And by that token, that it's possible to treat mental illness and recover fully (and perhaps relapse and recover again)?

OP posts:
DrManhattan · 20/02/2020 15:06

Just that alot of people have out dated views and no experience of it.
Alot of people still dont get what it's about and how scary / debilitating it can be.

mindgoinground12 · 20/02/2020 15:07

YANBU, i have 5 DSs 3 of which have a chronic ilnnes (EDS) my eldest has it along with severe mental health, the other two are out of A&E all the time and haev nothing but sympathy. The eldest is also in and out of a&e but maninly for mental health and especially recently is met with alot of harsh words- even when his mental helath and physcial helath come togther (he struggles with infections) the reason? Hes been told recently he needs to stop using a&e if not hell be banned bnecasue his menatl health can 'be helped' it dosent 'need to happen' and hopefully saying hell be benned/police could be contacted will stop hik doing stuff 'that can be helped' of course all this has done is reiterated the fact to my DS that he dosent deserve help and he wont get help when hes done soemthing- which recently ment he didnt go in till he was septic and choice was out of his hands due to infected SH, he was then told of for not going in. But when its my other DSs due to there EDS, theyve been told if they turn up to A&E a few tims a week it dosnet matter

Finerumpus · 20/02/2020 15:09

It is not possible to fully recover from some mental illness.

TheDailyCarbuncle · 20/02/2020 15:10

I know @Finerumpus - I should have been clearer on that one - it's possible to treat mental illness (not always effectively) and in some cases fully recover.

OP posts:
Howmuchshouldwetipthem · 20/02/2020 15:30

AIBU to think mental illness is not really any different to physical illness, in that it can strike you even if you do everything 'right'?
I think most, but not all, mental illnesses follow on from an unhealthy lifestyle. If you get enough exercise, eat properly, don't overindulge or binge drink alcohol, don't do drugs, I think you are likely to be both physically and mentally healthier.

I don't think everyone is likely to get physically sick sometime (unless you are talking about having the odd cold). Neither do I think it is likely that everyone will be mentally ill sometimes either.

Lazymorningsareover · 20/02/2020 15:33

I think most, but not all, mental illnesses follow on from an unhealthy lifestyle. If you get enough exercise, eat properly, don't overindulge or binge drink alcohol, don't do drugs, I think you are likely to be both physically and mentally healthier.

Did you actually mean to say that most mental illness is caused by an unhealthy lifestyle?

TheDailyCarbuncle · 20/02/2020 15:36

I don't think everyone is likely to get physically sick sometime (unless you are talking about having the odd cold).

Do you think it's possible/common for a person to go through 70/80 years of life getting nothing but a cold @Howmuchshouldwetipthem?

OP posts:
PixieRabbit · 20/02/2020 15:38

The dismissive attitude from family, “friends”, and the medical profession, definitely contribute to my feeling more crazy and more of a burden.

milliefiori · 20/02/2020 15:40

@Howmuchshouldwetipthem - what do you base those beliefs on? I thought MH problems affect athletes and clean living types as well as people who abuse their physical health. Is there medical evidence to the contrary?

NotALurker2 · 20/02/2020 15:43

They're just now beginning to understand that a lot of mental illness is in fact a biological sickness. PANDAS and strep is the most amazing discovery IMO. Also that a pregnant woman having the flu increases the chance of her DC getting schizophrenia. Very interesting.

So attitudes will continue to change as science catches up.

TheDailyCarbuncle · 20/02/2020 15:45

An unhealthy lifestyle can cause mental illness, of course, just as it can cause physical illness. But it's total nonsense to say that all or even most mental illness is caused by lifestyle, there is absolutely no evidence for that. An analogy would be that smokers are more likely to get lung cancer, but non-smokers get it too, even non-smokers who are very fit and healthy.

OP posts:
TheDailyCarbuncle · 20/02/2020 15:47

I agree @NotALurker2. Our immune systems have a lot to answer for and I don't think we've scratched the surface of the damage a misfiring system can do.

OP posts:
pinboard · 20/02/2020 15:47

@NotALurker2
that sounds interesting! do you have a source for the flu/schizo link pls?

potter5 · 20/02/2020 15:50

I recently attended a course at work about Mental Health in the Workplace.

It was very informative and stated that just because you can't see a wound/physical injury it doesn't mean that someone isn't suffering. I thought that this statement summed it up. Mental Health is an illness and needs treating in the same way as a physical injury/illness.

There are so many types of mental health which were never diagnosed 40 or 50 years ago. I think that now, in this day and age, we are more aware of what people are going through and what the triggers are. Hopefully where I work we will get volunteer 'mental health first aiders' who will be trained to spot colleagues who are struggling and be able to help or point them in the right direction.

TheDailyCarbuncle · 20/02/2020 15:56

I also notice more and more people calling it 'mental health' rather than 'mental illness' - is that because 'mental illness' has such a stigma attached?

A person suffers from mental illness, not from mental health!

OP posts:
pinboard · 20/02/2020 15:57

@NotALurker2

thank you - really kind x

Babdoc · 20/02/2020 16:08

Howmuch, I wish you wouldn’t make unsupported and judgmental statements about the causation of mental illnesses.
It may give you a false sense of security to think that your own clean living will protect you from ever suffering one, but you’re completely wrong.
There is a strong genetic component to many mental health conditions, and it is unkind to blame patients for having the wrong parents.
I have lost four of my relatives to suicide and two more have made serious attempts. They all led exemplary lives.

JellyfishandShells · 20/02/2020 16:12

I think most, but not all, mental illnesses follow on from an unhealthy lifestyle. If you get enough exercise, eat properly, don't overindulge or binge drink alcohol, don't do drugs, I think you are likely to be both physically and mentally healthier

Oh, dear God. We have a family member who is currently suffering from MH issues. Her super healthy lifestyle would have pleased this smug PP if viewed from the outside - also has loving family and privilege in terms of adequate housing and money.

Didn’t stop the wheels falling off, though - it was the very fact of seeming to have it all that made them too guilty to seek help at an earlier stage and spiralling down into severe depression and anxiety.

Eating well and exercising, going for a walk in the fresh air - all good for lifting mood in the slightly down or for helping in recovery but it’s not a magic wand.

It’s about as useful as ‘pull yourself together’

EuroMillionsWinner · 20/02/2020 16:12

I think most, but not all, mental illnesses follow on from an unhealthy lifestyle. If you get enough exercise, eat properly, don't overindulge or binge drink alcohol, don't do drugs, I think you are likely to be both physically and mentally healthier.

Absolute victim-blaming bullshit! Right up there with the people who blame others for getting cancer - smacks of, well, he/she deserved it for not being as perfect and superior as I am and it will not happen to me because I do everything right. Othering something doesn't make you impervious to it.

Spied · 20/02/2020 16:14

I don't believe I can recover fully from mental illness. You can adapt and evolve. I have- but once you've experienced a certain hell then I don't believe you can ever go back to being who you were before.
It's possible to come out of it a better person- but unscathed- No.

Graphista · 20/02/2020 16:43

“I think most, but not all, mental illnesses follow on from an unhealthy lifestyle. If you get enough exercise, eat properly, don't overindulge or binge drink alcohol, don't do drugs, I think you are likely to be both physically and mentally healthier.” Perfect example of the EXACT ignorance and lack of understanding the op is saying exists!

I have ocd, ocd is a condition one is born with at the very least a predisposition to, the thinking is that it relates at least in part to overdevelopment of a certain part of the brain.

I wasn’t dx until my 30’s...because I was bloody good at hiding it for fear of people thinking I was “nuts” and clearly I wasn’t wrong!

It worsened at certain points mainly relating to trauma.

To address the exact points this poster made at time of dx:

I was eating healthily and was a healthy weight, I’m a vegetarian and was actually quite slim but within a healthy weight range.

I exercised regularly, until a few months prior I’d been a runner and was still swimming and walking regularly (I’d been in a serious car accident which nixed the running)

With an alcoholic parent and several alcoholic relatives I’ve never been a big drinker and wasn’t then either.

I’ve never even tried recreational drugs and the only medication I was on at the time was for endo.

I was a sensible, healthy, normal 30-something

I have friends with bi-polar disorder, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety... NONE of them were ANY of the things you mention a factor. You’re talking UTTER NONSENSE!

Then there’s the FACT that many PHYSICAL ailments can be due to unhealthy lifestyle...but people suffering them don’t get nearly the same level of vilification!

“Do you think it's possible/common for a person to go through 70/80 years of life getting nothing but a cold” I do have a couple of relatives who’ve managed this but it’s sheer luck rather than saintly lifestyles! Result is they’re arseholes incapable of empathising with anyone with a chronic condition - physical or mental! They think people can just “power through”.

Quite honestly the relatives I have that have struggled with addiction, I’m fairly certain we’re self medicating anxiety/depression anyway. It was certainly the case for my father who’s alcoholism was triggered by a very unexpected and shocking bereavement.

I think it’s far more likely that people leading unhealthy lifestyles are doing so BECAUSE they’re struggling with something else (physical and mental, there’s a woeful invisible scandal imo regarding undx thyroid and gastric disorders leading to disordered eating habits) rather than the unhealthy lifestyle being the cause.

And yes as pp said, quite a few mental illnesses are genetic in cause.

“I don't believe I can recover fully from mental illness. You can adapt and evolve. I have- but once you've experienced a certain hell then I don't believe you can ever go back to being who you were before.
It's possible to come out of it a better person- but unscathed- No.” totally agree!

But that’s not always a bad thing.

Prior to being killed I cared far too much what others thought, even strangers! I was also more materialistic than I am now, but “losing” a houseful of “stuff” as one result of a major breakdown led to the acceptance it was just “stuff” and replaceable.

But yea, I’ll also never be as extrovert or happy or “bubbly” as I was prior either. My greatest sadness is that dd never knew that version of me. She only knows the anxious, fearful, unconfident, overwhelmed version of me - even when I’ve had periods of being at my most well since I am not the same person.

PixieRabbit · 20/02/2020 19:52

Graphista

Prior to being killed am I being a real thicko here, or are you communicating with us from beyond the grave?

Xenia · 20/02/2020 20:01

Most doctors would certainly there is a link for some mental illnses with life style although not necessarily the cause. Elminating sugar, alcohol etc stops highs and then crashes and can even out the balance of seratonin, beta endophins, dopamine. Obviously psychiatric drugs do that to a much stronger extent.

My psychiatrist father used to find a mixture of pills and therapy was often best and liked to get people outside doing some kind of regular exercise.

A lot of the latest research is finding the old truth that you are what you eat and that what is happening in your gut can affect how you feel in your head is relevant. Obviously eating well , getting enough sleep etc tends to make most people feel better. None of this of course will be some magic cure for people who are seriously mentally ill.

Xenia · 20/02/2020 20:02

I am one of hte luckiest people in the UK. I have caught one cold in the last 2 years. I have seen my GP once in about 15 years. Even my births were normal. If we could find out why we could bottle it and make lives so much easier and happier - why did I draw som lucky lot in life that I have good physical and mental health? I wake up thinking how lucky I am for that every day (health is the most valuable thing for me - obviously also my children too) and of course it may not last as I age.