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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dh is selfish

58 replies

Sunnydays38722 · 20/02/2020 09:08

We were out shopping at a retail park this is an important fact as no toilets were available. I told him in the car that I was desperate for the loo. I’m also pregnant so you think he would consider that. We get in and he goes straight to the only bathroom and proceed to be in there for the next 15 minutes. I know this sounds trivial but he’s been being so awfully selfish since I’ve been pregnant.

OP posts:
timeforawine · 20/02/2020 10:26

Selfish bastard. He needs a talking to, and maybe a kick up the arse

1forsorrow · 20/02/2020 10:28

I think you are right.

Giroscoper · 20/02/2020 10:31

Dh really struggles to hold a wee in but still would have let me go in first. Yes, your Dh is selfish.

What else is he doing that has you concerned?

Flufferbum · 20/02/2020 10:31

OP you’ve said since you’ve been pregnant he’s been selfish? Would you like to highlight some more? It might help you see things a bit clearly. It’s apparent that some men once they have gotten their wife/do pregnant show their true colours. I hope your okay x

whitetoblerone · 20/02/2020 10:35

That is so selfish in general, but especially when you're pregnant!

What else has he done?

BoxOfBabyCheeses · 20/02/2020 10:35

How long did it take you to get home from the retail park? Could he have forgotten? Didn't you mention anything to him when you got home? What did he say when he came out of the bathroom?

Oakmaiden · 20/02/2020 10:38

Did you not say anything when you saw he was heading for the loo? Like - don't forget I'm bursting for a pee - are you going to be long?

Seems strange if you just watched him go in there and then waited quietly for 15 minutes with no comment.

Toria70 · 20/02/2020 10:39

That's actually quite cruel OP.

You need to be really careful here if he's making you suffer deliberately..........

AryaStarkWolf · 20/02/2020 10:40

Yeah what did you say to him? Like if I imagine myself in this situation and me and my DH were going into the house and he went straight towards the bathroom, I would say "ah come on I told you I was bursting" (not that he would do that to me(not on purpose anyway)

Crinkle77 · 20/02/2020 10:51

He's a t**t. I am sure this probably isn't a one off and that there is a back story here. I mean if he had the runs fair enough but if not he could have let you dash in quick and then he could have sat there till his hearts content.

yellowallpaper · 20/02/2020 10:56

Reminds me of my abusive exH . Not pregnant, but on really long journeys (hours) I would say in good time, I needed the loo. Got to the services and he would drive past, and say we would stop at the next services. He didn't. Said the same thing until we arrived. It was because HE didn't want to stop.

Devlesko · 20/02/2020 11:08

dirty git could have gone at home before he left, bet he stunk the place out.
Sounds like a really selfish git, glad he's yours. Please don't put up with this, and it's worrying you think it sounds trivial.
Apart from controlling your toileting what else is he doing?

Idontkowmyname · 20/02/2020 11:14

Selfish prick and I’d be shocked if this was not the tip of the iceberg.

icannotremember · 20/02/2020 11:30

Wtf was he doing for 15 minutes? I've had second stages of birth that lasted less than that.

Pregnancy made me somewhat psycho, I'd have peed on his clothes before he came out of the bathroom.

10FrozenFingers · 20/02/2020 11:32

It was deliberate spite. What are you going to do about it?

MzHz · 20/02/2020 11:40

If you can talk us through some of the other incidents that made you Hmm?

it's all relevant. have you got a midwife yet? please open up and talk to her?

MummyJasmin · 20/02/2020 11:44

This is upsetting OP.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 20/02/2020 11:54

I'd have been banging on the door... have you actually asked him why he did this when he knew you needed to go?

Dollywilde · 20/02/2020 11:59

We only have one toilet in our flat. I'm currently pregnant, but even prior to pregnancy, if DH knew he was likely to need to be in the loo for longer than a minute, he'd offer me the option of going in first (both to avoid smells and to avoid waiting!) Equally, if either of us is going to take a shower or bath we'll let the other one know in case they want to nip in and use the toilet first. It's just polite - no two ways about it.

Blackandgreenteas · 20/02/2020 12:19

My exh used to do a thing where, if I’d been up with either of the kids in the night - and it was always me up with them while he slept on or gave the appearance of sleeping - he’d wait till I’d finally got them settled and was just heading to the bathroom for a wee before getting back into bed, and he’d nip in in front of me. Happened too much to be a co incidence.

He had all the time I was up settling baby / child to go, and knew that I always want to go the loo before getting into bed or I can’t sleep, but he’d only nip in when I was about to go.

KatherineJaneway · 20/02/2020 12:21

I know this sounds trivial but he’s been being so awfully selfish since I’ve been pregnant.

What other things has he done?

Blackandgreenteas · 20/02/2020 12:22

But yes I ageee your h was very selfish and it’s worrying.

WaggleWiggle · 20/02/2020 14:32

15 minutes?! If he doesn’t have a medical condition, I’d say it almost seems deliberate. Has he just sat down and browsed on his phone or something, knowing you’re waiting?

Daftodil · 20/02/2020 15:01

Very selfish. What an arsehole. 😡

DrManhattan · 20/02/2020 15:03

What a weirdo!