GAH! Constantly interrupted when I speak!

[calmama]

It’s infuriating! I’ve got a quiet voice and fairly introverted but I’m making an effort to speak up. I also see this happening to others too and it drives me batty!

What are your tips and tricks for addressing this?

Though I’m not sure it would help when I’m being mansplained to

Thats easy, just give them the and walk off!

I just say 'Sorry did the end of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?', they usually look a little confused then apologise and let me finish.

I get a bit sassy with this because it winds me up.
One eyebrow goes up and so does my top lip in disgust 'was I done?' Of course not forgetting the hand movement.
I'm not usually sassy but when it comes to this my inner sass comes out.

I have thought about getting an air horn to blast in the air to shut them up though.

Do it! Do it! Do it!

My friend does this. The second you start saying anything she’ll interrupt with a story about how she has done that, been there. Or if you say I’m feeling a little under the weather, queue a half hour story about everything wrong with her! Others in our friendship group have commented. She does it to everyone. It’s very annoying as I feel like I just go over to hers to be talked at! It’s literally, every time anyone talks, she interrupts them

My sis does this all the time!!!!! It's weird as she has a job where she has to listen to people so I wonder if she's so fed up with that she can't be arsed when she's with me.

It's annoying to be interrupted but make sure you're not droning on. I try to respond to a point DH make sometimes by starting to speak when he pauses to draw breath and he pulls me up on interrupting him by holding his hand up "please can you let me finish" - and then goes ON for about 10 mins talking about 5 different subjects by which point there is absolutely no point in even trying to remember what I was trying to respond to 10 mins ago. But somehow I am the interrupting one in the wrong

My mother in law does this. Drives me bonkers, feel quite drained after a conversation with her.

I think it depends if it's in a work context or not. If you're with friends/family you can say whatever you want really...

"I wasn't done"
"Hang on a minute"
"Let me speak"
"Bloody hell, I can't get a word in edgeways!!" etc etc.

But at work it's a bit different. I've found a couple of things helpful in meeting/conference situations:

• Signpost what you're about to say i.e. "I have two points to make about this. The first is...", "Well I'll explain what happened during the pilot and then I'll explain my thoughts on whether the rollout will work. During the pilot...", etc. Then people know what you're planning to cover and should be able to better tell when you're finished. If not, you can say something like "so as I said I'd like to move on to my second point" etc.

• Use a three step approach when an individual person keeps interrupting. Step 1: "sorry, can I just finish what I was saying?" (The sorry is not really apologising, it's just letting them save face) Step 2: "can you let me finish what I was saying?" (The 'can you let me' puts the responsibility on them and politely calls them out for interrupting) Step 3: "John, I'm not finished." (Firm tone, uses their name which makes people think about how others are perceiving them). Repeat step 3 every time that person interrupts after that. Repetition draws everyone else's attention to the behaviour and should embarrass the interrupter.

• An effective chairperson should be watching for this kind of thing and managing input so that everyone gets a chance to be heard. If the above hasn't worked, still keep doing it, but if you're comfortable doing so you could speak to the chairperson about managing interruptions e.g. "I noticed in the meeting that people were interrupting others speaking. As it's often hard to be heard in a group setting, would you be open to introducing some ground rules so that everyone can contribute if they wish to and not be interrupted?"

Just yesterday ds said this happens at school. Another child will interrupt and the teacher will respond to the other child. He now says very loudly "Please wait I'm still talking" He is 14

I'm so sorry this is me. I just think my next point is the most brilliant thing ever. It never is though so I am trying to stop.

@Wereeaglesdare Thanks for your input. Don’t feel bad or anxious about it because I think we can all do this sometimes, but it’s obvious when someone has interjected by mistake compared with those who deliberately steamroll, like another poster described. It’s the deliberate “I have no interest in what you have to say” people I take issue with.

@Xiaoxiong, I have sympathy for this. I've had a few people in my life who talk in monologue either some or all of the time and don't get that a conversation is supposed to go back and forth and not just be one person droning on.

Maybe I'm a bitch but I have on occasion got up and walked away because I can't be fucked to listen to a monologue.

Wereeaglesdare, totally with you on this (TBH it's no surprise that ds is autistic). When I'm not sure how to demonstrate that I'm listening, or where the pauses are in a conversation, or when it's my turn to speak, I do what I think of as 'verbal nodding along', like Mm-hmm, Ah, OK.

@doubledown Excellent advice! Sounds like you’ve honed your skills...?

@calmama Far too many instances of being interrupted by someone who just wants to say the exact same thing that I just said but longer and worse! I also teach management courses and I think I pick up loads from the people I teach, about what they've used and what works etc.

I cured a family friend of this by stopping dead and refusing to pick up. When others tried to help by asking what I had been saying, I merely replied, "It doesn't matter", or once, when feeling more stroppy, "No that's OK, Family Friend is going to finish the sentence for me". Which of course, he couldn't.
Much easier in the classroom, where I could do the death stare, or muse out loud that it was a funny thing, but I thought I could hear a voice, but couldn't see any raised hands...…..

I get this all the time, and it's got worse as I've got older. The purpose of old women is to act as an audience for more important people, why can't I get that through my head? Especially annoying when they go on to repeat what I was just saying, and get congratulated for their perspicacity for that great opinion!

Luckily, being old means not having to go to work so I no longer have to bother with people who annoy me. When I meet up with someone like this, I can just avoid them and concentrate on the nice people. I don't really care if I appear a bit rude.

In fact I do interrupt other people more than I used to, and I notice a negative reaction at times. I put this down to people's assumption that I should really just allow myself to be talked over in my role as a grey haired person of the female sex. But possibly I'm now turning into one of the bossy loud people...

My Dad and my DP do this to me all the time! It started driving me bonkers.

I've started to make a point of "suddenly stopping talking" with a sort of glottal stop sound and make a body move looking a bit like I've been "tripped up", which doesn't accurately describe it, as it's not exactly dramatic as all that, but DP has definitely noticed and actually said "sorry" last time.

After my sudden silence and body language, I just stare at DP or DF in total silence, untill there's a gap and go back to what I was saying.

Ok ok I sound mental. But it really has started working.

Alternatively, I could just say "it's rude to interrupt like that" I know.

If it happens on occasion I'll just say 'yeah you're speaking over me so whatever you thought I was going to say'. Bit passive aggressive but people shouldn't do it so I'm not too bothered about hurt feelings.

One particular person does this all the time, not just to me, but it's so rude that I just don't speak to them anymore and give one word answers. Why waste my thoughts and actual breath when I know I'm going to be cut in at any second and dismissed?

One thing the constant steamrolling by my boss has done is make me reflect on my own behaviour. I sometimes wonder if this is some sort of divine punishment for all the times when I have bored for Britain.

@Sagradafamiliar Yes, I have reverted to clicks and grunts before too.

My ex used to interrupt me all the time, and also finish my sentences with what he thought I was going to say (always getting it wrong of course)
It was lovely when I finally left him. I now get to finish all of my ……….

I occasionally interrupt others. I usually do it on purpose. Reasons include: I need to be somewhere else and they have caught me on the way, they are telling me stuff I already know, they are over labouring a point (I got it with the first sentence thanks), they are telling me stuff I don't need to know, they are saying unkind stuff about others or being nosy.....I could go on, but I think that it's usually the person being interrupted that has the poor social skills.

This is great ammunition as I’m about to start working closely with a negative interrupter.

THE worst kind who has a negative comment to interject even before you even present your plans or ideas.

Sigh.