To envy people who have a faith?

[RitaHayworthHair]

I'm an atheist. Absolutely science and fact based in my thoughts and approach to life.

But.

I do envy people who have faith as I'd imagine it must bring great comfort to think there is a god (of their choice obv) looking over them. That good will prevail.

AIBU?

Sorry not sort.

@Witchend*

Only thing is: God is good. All good things come from Him. If you’ve chosen to be without Him, then He respects that, but that means you won’t have anything good. That is hell, the removal of all things good.

I’m sorry but this is rubbish - I don’t believe in God - never have but my life is good. I don’t need an imaginary idea to have a good life, family and friends. I’ll never go to heaven or hell as neither exist.

What is good is good people. Good people that make a difference to our communities regardless of religion, gender, sexuality.

I think this is what I struggle with lilgreen

I’m ultimately searching for something because I’m 30, and both my parents ‘shouldn’t’ be dead. I often get quite jealous of people older than me who still have their parents and I want to try and make sense of my loss.

I also know that my parents, dad especially, were not believers so he didn’t die thinking he was going to heaven.

It’s hard to articulate, I guess I want reassurance that I won’t be dying in 20yrs, and if I do, I won’t be alone. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s complicated. I have muddled thoughts and no answers

I get it @chocolatedaim but does it need to be religion? Could it be charity? Could it be voluntary work or just living a good, honest and kind life?

In my experience faith comes at a price. In the faith I was brought up in anyway. I was raised a Catholic and while I think it gave me a good basic moral framework to live by, it also gave me massive guilt until I got to a stage in my life where I decided I didn’t believe anymore.

You are absolutely right.
I do find myself doing things to feel more connected to my parents. Running half marathons for a local charity is one. Which is madness if you know me! But there is still something missing. But then again that’s grief isn’t it? I suppose there will always be something missing now.
My husband isn’t religious he is a very pragmatic, scientific thinking man. He also is very fortunate to have all his grandparents so hasn’t experienced a close loss. He offers me a lot of support and love but there are some things he just can’t understand.
Perhaps if I knew of someone in real life who had lost their parents at a young age, that would help 🤷🏻‍♀️

My DH lost his DF young. He is of no religion and is the best person I know. He is just kind and good for no other reason than he just is. I used to sit in church with people I knew to be racist, homophobic and basically not nice. You don’t need a religion to live a good life.

I'm nearly 50 and still swing from being a non believer and believing. I wish I could believe 100%. It seems to give people who do so much comfort.

To the pp who said not every believer believes all the scriptures. Well I can’t align myself with beliefs unless I agree with them. I have gay members of family, I have friends who had abortions. Enough said.

While I am not at all religious in the sense of believing in a higher being, I am deeply spiritual which has helped me in some very difficult times, I definitely find it a comfort

It's the reverse for me now.
For years I grew up with religious parents and siblings and was so afraid of hell that I dare not believe.
Eventually after years of mental anguish about it, I finally believe god isn't real.
And I feel relief.

knowing I am sitting in a place people have sat for generations, repeating the words of Psalms and hymns

Yes, this has great value for me too. It connects me to generations and generations of people before me and I find that gives me a sense of perspective on life.

My lovely Mother was from rural Ireland and a devout catholic all her life.

At school she was beaten by nuns until she was able to write with her right hand.

I believe that the MH problems she had in her life all stem from those days and I feel desperately sad at what the church did to such a gentle, kind lady.

@Parsley65 I’ve read a coffee of books on that subject. Dreadful and made me feel ashamed of my Catholic upbringing. My DM was taught by nuns. Some were kind and some were awful. I disagree with elevating human beings to a higher status in the name of religion.

Couple not coffee

My mum had a very strong faith. She never put her 4 children under pressure to follow in her footsteps.
She died aged 37 when I was 12 and ever since then,I had read so much about all religions in a quest to try and understand what drew her to God. I like the idea of God but I cannot resolve the injustice of her death.
But, her faith gave her great comfort in her final weeks of life and for that I feel truly grateful.
A friend once said to me that the prayers my mum would have said all those years ago have no time limit and God would be acting on those now. Even though I've fallen out with God because of her death, that thought,that her prayers are still 'active' has brought ME huge comfort.
I don't know where I'm at with religion but I admire people with such a strong faith.
I think I want to believe in God or the thought that there is a bigger plan for us but I just can't.

I'm not sure why non-religious people think all religious people believe wholeheartedly that every word of religious texts is true.

That's a broad characterisation of atheists that is just not true.

As an atheist I'm well aware that religious people aren't blindly brainwashed into believing every word of every religious text.

It's a very rare believer that isn't selective about which bits of their holy books they choose to believe in. In my experience most Christians get very cherry picky when it comes to Leviticus.

Recently I've had the opposite to you @OP. Wondering if atheists feel freer than those bound by the rules of their faith.
I was wondering how my life might look if i wasnt a Christian.
Would I have gotten an abortion. Would I have had dated and had lots of boyfriends. Im seperated, hopefully getting divorced (religiously okayed because my ex is a cheat/adulterer. But him being violent wasnt enough to call it quits) - but I actually dont feel like i can date until I'm divorced (I'm only 31) I can't move on. Even after divorcing, I won't be able to have guilt-free sex and I dont want to get married again, so is that the end of romantic relationships for me. I know it sounds trivial, but not caring or having set rules must be really freeing. But I do wholeheartedly believe in my religion, and I do get benefits and comfort from it.

Deciding you don’t believe is freeing if you’ve been brought up with religion. But it doesn’t mean I’m free of morality and nor would I want to be. Personally, I think I would wait for divorce too just because I believe that to be right. Perhaps that’s a hangover from my upbringing. Who knows? I’m happily married so if I was in your position perhaps I’d feel differently.

Recently I've had the opposite to you @OP. Wondering if atheists feel freer than those bound by the rules of their faith.

We can eat shellfish on a Sunday without feeling any threat of eternal damnation but I can assure you, things like abortion and guilt-free sex (is that possible?) are no easier, or less problematical, for us atheists.

Those are moral issues that we (theist and atheist alike) have to struggle with as individuals. The only difference, I guess, is that we (atheists) can't hive off the responsibility for making them onto the interpreters of bronze aged texts. They're our decisions. We own them. The consequences of those decisions are ours too. Not 'punishment' or 'retribution' from some 'higher being', or things to thank any supernatural entity for.

This is exactly how I feel OP