Parents meeting praising

[Lazi]

Hi
Any teachers here? Is it a common practise that teachers talk only great things about our kids during parent's meetings. My two boys have been praised by teachers everytime to sn extend that even I felt like am i raising some sort of Einstein material😀I know they are very bright boys. But I wonder do they let us know if they are lagging in some subjects or doing some mistakes?

To be honest, I'm quite surprised by all the posters who are relaxed about the children getting on feedback. I'm not sure about OP's reference to where they are "weaker" as that seems unnecessary. But even if they're a child genius and have cracked algebra by y3, surely then the next thing work on is calculus?

Obviously, that's an extreme example. But I don't get it. DD is ahead in everything but her reception teacher has a very clear understanding of what's next on the "to achieve" list, even if it's not something she'd be actively aiming to be teaching children at DD's age. So, in reception, she's suggesting DD work on some writing and spelling stuff, along with a few other children in the class, that's a bit further ahead than they'd normally be at this point. She tells me what DD is "working on" not where she's weak as, at this point, there aren't weaknesses as such but certainly there are skills she hasn't mastered yet.

And on the flip side, DS has loads of stuff to do to catch up with the other children. But the school still also makes a point of telling me where he's doing well or making progress even if it's progress that means he's still behind or if it's non academic eg becoming better at playing with other children or whatever.

I’m glad they’ve said as now we can work on writing and spelling at home.

I do wonder about this though. My view has always been it's the school's job to follow the curriculum but as a parent I want to allow them to experience the joy of learning. So beyond making sure they have access to lots of good books to read how are you suppose to teach a KS2 child how to spell at home without it becoming very very boring? And I don't actually want to be dictated to by the school 'this term we are doing X'. If something comes up that DH or I are interested in then we'll do that (so e.g. both DDs are now doing Shakespeare at school so we've watched the DVD of 'Much Ado About Nothing' at home and are going to see the RSC perform 'As You Like It' next month) but time out of school is the time for our passions and I think that alongside the school's curriculum is a good balance.

A good (primary) teacher will recognise that while some parents unfortunately need to be told to read to their children there are other parents who are already providing an enriched environment and so are doing enough. As a child gets older it makes sense to give more focussed feedback but that needs to go to the child as much as the parents.

This is the exact opposite of a boasting thread imo.
If the op was a boaster, this is a question she could ask her friends.
But since saying 'my dcs get all A's, what do yours get' in real life would make you a bit of a twat, the sensible non-boasting place to ask is on an anonymous Internet forum.

@CountFosco we do 20 mins x3 times a week of a spelling zapper made for him by his teacher and practice handwriting again made for him by his teacher which usually relates to what they’re learning at that time.

I hardly think 60 mins is some arduous task that sucks the joy out of learning and he certainly doesn’t find it boring.

It’s not just the schools job to teach them it’s our job as parents to aid that if they are struggling and falling behind which in English my son unfortunately is.

There’s no sense in me ignoring the situation and leaving it up to school when in a few short months he’ll be in Y5 and a higher standard of work will be expected.

It’s no different to doing homework which again will be expected of him in Y5 and going forwards.

It's not that am an ignorant parent. Ofcourse I provide them a nourishing environment. I read to them , teach them ,play with them etc. We do bond books which is ahead of his age level. He loves reading. The main reason for OP was that his teacher suggested us to take mensa when he turns 10. She said he is far ahead in every topic and is challenging himself everyday. Although I am his mum I was not sure about that much level. As you guys said may be the coming years will prove his abilities and weaknesses.

i dont think teachers praise without reason. your kids must be genuinely bright. if he is playing for an england chess team he must be bright only. afterall chess is a tough game for kids.my husband is an indian
(he used to play there in some county type levels) and he tried to teach chess to my daughter.but she never really got the idea. but she is good in her studies.so having multiple talents is really a blessing. you should cherish it instead of doubting it.some of the time teachers know better than us.

We do bond books which is ahead of his age level

Why on earth are you doing bond books with 5-8 year olds unless they have an imminent entrance test? (Even then it's unwise as they're likely to perform above their ability and might end up in an suitable school.)

Honestly you can't tell that much about how well kids will perform long term in years 1-3. Some kids don't do much in the way of reading or extra stuff at home and some do lots and it will have a huge impact on how well they appear to do at home. If you're doing bond books at home naturally when they're at school they'll seem much brighter than they are since they're going over work already covered.

If you really feel they're very bright drop the bond books ASAP! Bond books, even for a few years ahead are straight forward for a bright child who's got the hang of them so it's a waste of time and will put your kids off. Just let them read books that interest them. My Y3 son who is good at maths does primary maths challenge papers which are fun and more about problem solving than rote learning. Make sure they have the opportunity to be challenged and not always succeed. My experience of teaching older kids is that the ones who initially found school easy often really struggle when their peers start to catch up and they're no longer effortless ahead.

You should ask "what can they do to improve their reading/writing/whatever?" - that will elicit a specific response.

I have one child who gets non stop praise and one who has more - er- mixed feedback. Trust me, non-stop praise is preferable.

Years 1 and 3, getting glowing results but you want to know where you can push them harder?

How about you ease up.

I have found this interested as my year one child doesn't seem to be at all challenged. I want her to be gently challenged at whatever level she's at so she doesn't coast. I feel the brighter ones get overlooked and not sure how to address it so taken some useful advice here.

In my experience, most parents don’t actually want to be told the truth about their children.

You're doing bond books at home naturally when they're at school they'll seem much brighter than they are since they're going over work already covered
We started doing it recently. It was recommended by his head teacher during one of the meetings. He even gave ds a bond book all by himself.

My kids just got told they've got a long way to go, so in my experience is they must be doing great.

And from what you say you know they're far ahead of where they should be.

I'd be revelling in the extra time I don't need to go over school work to keep them on track to do stuff you all enjoy enriching them - family bike rides, climbing walls, museums, long walks in the forest talking about nature, plays, music concerts, ballet, reading kid friendly news to discuss pertinent topics, creative writing.

If he's really bright then forget the bond books and take him to a museum or a nature reserve or the theatre or the library or get him into sports or play an instrument. Don't turn him off learning by making him do workbooks. Have faith in yourself and him, if he's really bright you just need to give him access to lots of different things and he'll soon make it clear what he has a passion for and that passion will drive on his learning.

It’s not just the schools job to teach them it’s our job as parents to aid that if they are struggling and falling behind which in English my son unfortunately is.

Doing extra work at home with a child who is struggling is very different situation from the OP who has a very young child who is well above average in all areas.

Feed their curiosity! Could your DS research and present to you about topics he is interested in?

I would ask the school what you could be doing to develop their deeper understanding of subjects. How they can master what they have learnt.

You could also, for example, for maths, get them to write some challenging questions for you to solve.

Mensa have their own puzzles etc that your DS could try out.
www.mensa.org.uk/puzzles

What about coding? Does your school use Scratch, could your DS have a look at that? scratch.mit.edu

Why don’t you ask the teacher what they could improve on, what could you do to support their learning in areas of opportunity? Everyone has something they could work on.

DS is in Reception and his first parent meeting was nothing but negative, only 6-8 weeks after he started. Not a single positive thing to say about him whatsoever.

So it seems we are in the minority 🤷‍♀️

My experience is that at the ages of yours it was overwhelmingly positive.

I think it's not always a good thing for teachers to do that. I've known a couple of parents whose dc have got to year 5/6 and then had a shock when they've found that they aren't working way ahead of the class which is the impression that they'd been given.

I think there is a tendency to wrap up anything negative with teacher speak. ("Makes a unique contribution to the class" type thing). That way the teacher feels that they have said what needs to be said but a fair number of parents don't unwrap it and see what was actually meant.

Thank you all for the valid inputs. Really appreciate it.
@ShawshanksRedemption thank you.. I will have a look at it..

Not a single positive thing to say about him whatsoever.

That's worse than being relentlessly positive. He will have some positive attributes and a better teacher would mention then along with one or two areas to work on.

Some schools tell you to say nothing negative

@Thisisgreen same! It was heartbreaking, I left feeling so dejected.

@CountFosco What is your issue? I didn’t say my sons experiences were the same as OP’s ever. That was in response to you and you only when seemingly had some kind of issue with me aiding my sons education at home.