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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think you should be able to tell the boss?

26 replies

ginghamstarfish · 18/02/2020 18:52

My DH work in IT, open plan office, and two women at the next desks to his, talk constantly. He has deadlines, and lots of problems to resolve in his work, and says he often can't hear himself think due to the incessant yakking, shouting, laughing, loud eating, etc etc. They also slag off everyone else in the office when they are not around. He often goes off to find an empty desk elsewhere but not ideal as he doesn't have his multiple screens etc. He will NOT talk to his boss as I keep suggesting, as he says it will make things worse as it will be obvious to the women who spoke to the boss, and then they will of course slag him off to everyone else. If I were the boss I would really want to know! He comes home fed up every day, yet he won't say anything. I don't know what else to say to him - anyone had similar?

OP posts:

Dylaninthemovies1 · 18/02/2020 19:07

A couple of possible solutions:

He could ask the women to keep it down as he’s concentrating

He could put earphones on with music.

He could use noise cancelling headphones

stayingontherail · 18/02/2020 19:12

If he isn’t going to complain to the person/people (boss/colleagues) who can resolve the issue then he is going to have to either accept it or get headphones.

LucyAutumn · 18/02/2020 19:13

Noise cancelling headphones

StoorieHoose · 18/02/2020 19:13

Yep. Headphones with music - that the only thing that keeps.me sane when our office is busy

MollysMummy2010 · 18/02/2020 19:14

Can he wear headphones? I am plugged into the radio all day in the office and it is a life saver. I listen to talk radio (LBC) rather than music.

Original poster

ginghamstarfish · 18/02/2020 19:17

Yes I have suggested the headphones but he says he can't listen to music while working as he needs to concentrate. I've also told him to say something to these women but he won't. I know it's his decision but it's annoying to see him come home fed up every day. Why don't managers notice things like this? DH says he can't imagine how the pair get any work done.

OP posts:

EustaciaPieface · 18/02/2020 19:18

He could suggest that he moves seats?

heartsonacake · 18/02/2020 19:20

Well if he won’t take action and tell them or his boss there’s nothing to be done; he’ll just have to accept it.

5zeds · 18/02/2020 19:22

Dh wears headphones to do similar work. He doesn’t need to complain he can ask to move to a quieter desk. Some people work well with music, some with banter (shudder) and some are best in a quiet corner. Perfectly fine for them ALL to be accommodated.

noctu · 18/02/2020 19:24

Noise cancelling headphones with white noise or soothing sounds (not music which can be distracting)
this worked for me!

malmi · 18/02/2020 19:25

How would the manager noticing be any different to your husband mentioning it to the manager? Can't he just ask the manager to 'notice'? Sounds like he enjoys having something to moan about.

Nannewnannew · 18/02/2020 19:30

Earplugs?

Alonelonelyloner · 18/02/2020 19:32

It sounds absurd. If he can't actually tell his manager then he needs to just deal with it himself.
I work in IT and this chatting would be untenable. But nobody would sit there inwardly seething and having their work life impacted. He needs to grow a pair.

FartyFenella · 18/02/2020 19:34

To be honest it sounds like his boss is a bit shit if he/she hasn't done anything about the pair of them. And I say this as the boss.

Noise cancelling headphones are great, but you don't have to listen to music or anything distracting. You can download apps that play rainfall sounds, the sea/waves etc which don't mean you have to concentrate on something else. I recommend he checks them out.

I can't work and listen to music or the spoken word. I can't concentrate on both. But weirdly if I'm working from home I can't work in silence. I have to have BBC or Sky News on just for some background noise. I don't focus on it, or watch it, but I guess it kind of replaces the chatter from my colleagues.

Ffsnosexallowed · 18/02/2020 19:35

If he wants things to change he needs to say something. I had a similar problem and asked people to be quiet as I couldn't work. One lady thought I was joking and laughed. I very sternly said I was being serious and I was there to work even if they weren't. It worked.

Fcukthisshit · 18/02/2020 19:36

Something along the lines of “can you 2 shut the fuck up for once - I can’t hear myself think” should sort it

ferrier · 18/02/2020 19:37

Why would headphones be a solution? Who would want to work all day with headphones on or white noise?
I second an earlier poster.... ask manager if he can move desks .... or rooms!

anotherlittlechicken · 18/02/2020 19:38

Why should people have to move, or get 'noise cancelling headphones' because of selfish, noisy, inconsiderate twonks? These women need a talking to! (And they need to be told to STFU!)

CSIblonde · 18/02/2020 19:42

Moving desks shouldn't be a problem unless they're really pushed for space. He doesnt need to mention names, just say he needs quieter corner. The current desk he goes to sounds a possible option. They can only say no.

JudyCoolibar · 18/02/2020 19:44

If there are quieter areas in the office, can't he just ask to move there permanently?

Neverender · 18/02/2020 19:44

I flipped the other day and pointed out to a colleague they'd been talking about thunder for 45 minutes...he needs to stand up for himself...!

Original poster

ginghamstarfish · 18/02/2020 19:46

I know, I know, I can't imagine putting up with that every day and not saying anything. What I mean about managers is that surely part of their job is to 'manage' the people working under them, checking the office environment re noise just as for heating, lighting, equipment etc. Mind you I've never come across a manager worth their extra pay.

OP posts:

LisaSimpsonsbff · 18/02/2020 20:07

One of my colleagues drives me mad with her incessant and very whingey talking. She sits right next to me so I worry that people will think I'm participating in the conversation and so also choosing to just moan on and on rather than work - but she talks at me, not to me! Anyway, headphones have massively alleviated the problem. I wouldn't listen to music while working as my first choice but I find it's ok if I choose soothing music with no voice, and a lot better than listening to the moaning!

Hotwaterbottlelove · 18/02/2020 20:07

Loud eating? It sounds as though he is in that state of mind where once you find someone annoying everything they do sets you off. I've certainly been there. I once decided someone I sat near breathed too loudly!

He needs to request to move desks. When is manager asks why he needs to professionally say that where is sitting now is too noisy and it is impacting his stress levels. He should try not to use the type of language you have used when describing these women's behaviour or it will undermine his request. Keep it about the environment not about the people.

Offices are tough places. So many different people to try to keep happy. I hope he finds a resolution.

BlimeyCalmDown · 18/02/2020 20:10

I think he may work in my office

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