To be annoyed with drivers being too polite?

[Thistledew]

Scenario- I'm crossing a road with DS, age 3.5 and teaching him about road safety. An approaching car sees is by the side of the road and stops to allow us to cross in front of them.

I really wish drivers wouldn't do this. I'm teaching DS to wait until the road is completely clear, and don't want him to be making a decision as to whether the car has seen him and stopped deliberately.

I usually just smile and gesture the driver to proceed and am thankful when they do just that, but one woman today seemed to take real exception and stopped for quite a while angrily gesturing for us to cross. The stalemate only ended when I walked down the pavement with DS behind her to cross further down.

AIBU to ask drivers to consider that it might not actually be particularly kind or helpful to let parents and young children cross in this way?

Same. Drives me crackers. Along with pulling in on a single-track to let the oncoming vehicle pass, AND THEN THEY TOO PULL IN AND FLASH YOU! What’s the fookin point! I’m already bastarding stopped! Just bloody come on.

Some very strange replies on here.
The OP is teaching her child road safety. Motorists who do this mean well, but it can be dangerous for a variety of reasons as already mentioned.

I hate this in general. When someone gestures me across, sometimes all reason leaves my head and I scurry out and am nearly hit by a car going the other way.

Haha, yes OP. I'm with you!

DH calls it playing 'Good Driver'. They are doing something that is no help to you, potentially dangerous and expect to be thanked for it.

Same as when driving:
stopping to allow a right hand turn when there's nothing behind you and they could just carry on and you could turn quicker.

Giving way on a roundabout. (There's an American base round here.)
And flashing to allow you out but actually there's something coming the other way.

You never stop to allow a pedestrian to cross, because a) the idiot behind you may over take, and b) there may be oncoming traffic that either you or the pedestrian can't see. The pedestrian must evaluate the risk for themselves, rather than be prompted to action by a flash or wave.

You should get learner plates for your son to know he is in training. This way there will be no confusion of pesky people trying to be polite and kind.

You have to teach your child to cross in real-world conditions, and navigate people who may not do the expected.

I was taught by my mum never to cross when a car was coming. When I moved to a city, this was ridiculous advice but I felt very nervous and stressed stepping out between traffic as I had never done it.

I don't tend to stop for pedestrians unless they are crossing to an island (with a dropped kerb) or perhaps on a street corner where it would be difficult to cross. In cities, people have to walk out in front of cars all the time otherwise they would never cross! YABU.

People see a mother with a small child and think they're being kind to stop and let you cross.

As pps have said, this isn't something drivers should actually do and if someone did this on their driving test it would lose them points, so you're right, it isn't a good idea.

I live in a semi rural area, so not a lot of traffic, and I get this when I'm crossing the road with my dog: one car coming down the road I'm waiting to cross and they'll stop in the middle of the road and let me cross. I know they're being kind so I always give them a wave and a thank you but it doesn't make much sense to me tbh.

Where I live we have a lot of 1-way residential roads leading into and off a main road. I will very often stop as I’m approaching a junction to let pedestrians cross. I’m coming to a stop anyway and the roads around where I live are so busy that you could be stuck waiting to cross for a considerable time of cars don’t stop for you. I have a couple of times been waved on by pedestrians with small kids. I’ve been bemused rather than annoyed...particularly because having stopped, you’re then in that dilemma of not knowing if they’ll decide they do want to cross just as you start to come past!

I hate overly polite drivers too! Even just as a another driver.

A real hate of mine is when a driver under the guise of 'being nice' slows down to a stupid level and manically flashes their lights to let you out a slip road or similar, despite them having right of way.

In these situations I've usually seen them and slowed down, changed gear and amended my driving accordingly, and therefore entirely not ready to speed back up and get out as they're expecting.

It's one thing to be a courteous driver and another to completely ignore the rules of the road and cause more problems than you're solving.

YADNBU

I've had people do this when it's a duel carriage way. Then get annoyed when I refuse to throw myself and my buggy into the traffic...

Yes, it is so annoying at times and against the highway code. When I cross a road I like to make sure it is safe myself - not having someone take that decision out of my hands. Sometimes car drivers are trying to wave you across when it really isn't safe on the other side. If you wave someone across and you've missed something and they get run over - that's on you - why risk it?

YABU. Haven't we heard enough about kindness in the last few days??? Sometimes with a vulnerable, unpredictable road user, the driver would rather relinquish right of way to know they have passed safely.

Children need to know how to cross roads safely in a multitude of different conditions. I'm training mine to make eye contact with people that pull up (at crossings or whatever) to ensure that they have been seen and read intent. At lights, to read that traffic is pulling up safely not assume that the green man is a safe situation.

It's not kindness though- it's vanity

It's not kindness it's recklessness.

@ShinyGiratina the driver can relinquish their right of way all they want, but they cannot guarantee what other drivers will do. So it's not kindness - it's stupidity at best and dangerous at best

Dangerous at worst*

@DinosApple oh my gosh, yes! We seem to have a fair few people around here who decide to give way to the left on a roundabout, ‘to be kind’ I imagine, as there is no reason for it where I live. But then you can see them getting really quite shirty when you don’t pull out! Drives me bonkers!

YANBU. It's safer and quicker for everyone if the driver just continues, leaving the road clear for you to cross in safety.

Rights of way are pre-determined, to give all parties the clarity necessary in the dangerous world of vehicles. Throwing in politeness and kindness dangerously blurs the edges, regardless of whether you're teaching a child or not. YANBU at all.