Please help settle my nerves before facing ex in court!!

[ColouredPolkaDots]

Posting here for traffic because right now I need some handholding and support.

I'm in court today facing my Ex after being granted a non-molestation order and this is his chance to contest it. I have this order because of physical abuse towards me, my DS and my niece. He pushed a door into DS's head when he was 7 months old. He also takes drugs and doesn't pay maintenance.

He's here, and turned up with 2 of my old best friends who decided I was being unfair stopping him from seeing DS despite everything that happened.

I'm sat here a huge ball of nerves so AIBU to ask for some kind words?

Also cringe but I imagined lots of women behind me shouting your lovely words of encouragement and it made me much less nervous.

I am in exactly the same situation as you! So feel free to pm me! I am back in court in April with a child arrangement order as well as the non molestation order hearing! Its awfully stressful! Only I'm 7 months pregnant too and the hearing is a day after due date

@Fedupofitnow123 Wow that's shit timing! I hope bub is late! The solicitor and I have agreed not to go for a CAO at the moment as it could then actually force ex to have contact which I don't want!

Yea, the court advised my ex that if he so desperately wanted contact then he would need to do that, so he has, it's awful as ds doesnt want to see him

Well done op. Thank you for coming back to update us, I have been thinking of you. What a relief for you. ❤️

So are you saying he can never see his son again? Hows about with support and guidance I know some childrens centres provide contact centres.?

@Fedupofitnow123 That sounds awful, I'm sorry 

@whiskeylullaby2 Thank you for thinking of me. I've been sick a few times I think from the nerves passing but I put DS to bed tonight knowing he's still safe and it's worth it.

@Missarad I haven't said he can't see DS again yet. I've said that unless maintenance is paid and he passes multiple drug tests then maybe he could see DS in a contact centre, with my permission and if he doesn't turn up I'm not putting DS through that. However since ex left DS has honestly come on in leaps and bounds and is much happier and calmer and ex won't do a drug test as it'll prove he's on drugs. Plus I feel like I'm massively letting DS down if I just let the man who hurt him see DS just because he's his father, it feels like I'm saying it's okay he hurt you, when obviously it isn't.

ColouredPolkaDots Well done!! Delighted it went your way.

Fedupofitnow123 I think I remember your posts, hope you, bump and your very brave little man are all keeping well. Best of luck for everything!

Well done OP. You are very strong and have done an amazing thing already. You can get yourself and DS through this because you know you are in the right.

It’s also amazing how being the one who speaks clearly and factually to the judge, answers questions and doesn’t go off on one can work wonders!

@KnightandDay Thank you! I'm so unbelievably grateful for how it went today!

@Blackandgreenteas Thank you to you too! I do have moments where I question if I'm doing the right thing but just ask myself, 'what would I want if I was a child in this?', and the answer is always 'safety and security'.

Also 100%. I was polite, thanked the judge and listened. Ex butted in, was not polite to the judge and the judge had to ask him to be quiet!

Oh yes def not if he doesnt wanna see him them def not and if he wants to then options are their. Hope all goes well :) x

was not polite to the judge and the judge had to ask him to be quiet!

Couldn’t help showing his true colours!